>> ARTHUR: Thanks for the lift.
>> SHANE: Any time.
>> ARTHUR: Bitch of a session.
>> SHANE: You didn't have fun?
>> ARTHUR: Well, yeah, but, I mean, we finally get to Sir Kelleth's keep,
and Sir Kelleth is dead, and there's, like,
a ton of soldiers who report directly to the King.
(knock)
>> ARTHUR: Will! How many soldiers were there?
>> WILL: I dunno, like a bajillion.
>> ARTHUR: Yeah, like a bajillion soliders.
Noctus cannot kill a bajillion soldiers.
>> SHANE: Uh-huh.
>> ARTHUR: Evan is being so unfair giving us a scenario we can't win.
Someone should teach him how to give a level-appropriate challenge.
>> EVAN: While you were crying into your cloak, Brittany was thinking outside the box.
>> ARTHUR: C'mon, I love Brittany,
but she's been too busy playing tonsil hockey with Will to be of any use.
>> BRITTANY: Oh.
>> SHANE: Sorry, what now?
[alarm sounds]
>> WILL: Hey! Shut the fuck up!
[knocking]
>> ARTHUR: Hey! Listen, it's about the game. I just—
>> WILL: Shhhh.
>> ARTHUR: So, yeah. It's about the game. There's really—
>> WILL: Shhh.
>> ARTHUR: So I've been thinking that your storyline with—
>> ARTHUR: With Brit, um—
>> WILL: Shh! Shh!
>> ARTHUR: I just don't think that it's really serving the game.
>> WILL: OH MY GOD.
>> ARTHUR: You weren't answering my calls.
>> WILL: It was three in the morning!
>> ARTHUR: What if I was dead, huh? What if I just died?
>> WILL: Well, you know, then I'd be sad for like four days, and then I'd move on.
>> ARTHUR: Listen: Biff and Corillia have to break up.
>> WILL: You came here to tell me that.
>> ARTHUR: Relationship dynamics ruin the game.
>> WILL: Relationship dynamics?
>> SHANE: Here. And not a copper more.
>> EVAN: Pleasure doing business with ya, gov!
>> SHANE: Remind me again why we paid him?
>> ARTHUR: Evan said that gang has like, twenty kids.
>> SHANE: So? They're kids.
>> ARTHUR: Noctus can't kill twenty kids!
>> SHANE: If Biff and Corillia were with us, we totally could've taken them!
>> ARTHUR: Listen: your relationship is hurting the party.
>> WILL: Oh! No, you're right! I wasn't thinking about the party!
>> ARTHUR: Thank you! Thank you, that's such a relief!
Listen, just let her down gently, it'll be—
>> WILL: Hey! Hey, Arthur? Get the fuck out of my house.
>> SAM: Are we going in, or what?
[doorbell]
>> EVAN: It's open!
>> SAM: Get ready for one of Brit's famous speeches.
>> EVAN: Sam, go get a drink or something.
>> SAM: Whatever. Hey, when's the next game?
>> EVAN: For you? Five years from now.
You think you'll be ready in time?
>> SAM: Dammit.
>> EVAN: Thanks for dropping by.
>> BRITTANY: This is about yesterday's game, isn't it?
Look, I know that I have been focusing a lot on Biff and Corillia's relationship,
but it is breaking Will out of his shell and it's finally getting him to roleplay!
And my drama teacher is always telling me to push my limits, so—
>> EVAN: Just ask him out, Brit.
>> BRITTANY: Who? Biff? Biff and Corillia are kinda already kind of going out—
>> EVAN: Which is all well and good, but, c'mon.
>> BRITTANY: But, I don't—
>> EVAN: I'm not going to ask him out for you, Brittany.
You're going to have to do that on your own.
>> SAM: Ask who?
>> EVAN: Brittany likes Will, but she prefers to pretend to like him instead.
>> SAM: Geez, grow some ovaries, Brit.
>> BRITTANY: Look, it's just roleplay.
>> EVAN: That's it! It's just roleplay.
When a LARP session ends, you put it aside.
>> SAM: This is why I can't play? Because Brittany's nuts?
>> EVAN: No, because your bedtime's still seven o'clock!
Look, Brit . . . if you're lucky, when next game's over,
you don't have to stop having fun.
>> SHANE: So how many kids has Noctus killed?
>> ARTHUR: Like ten. Eight. Two, I guess?
Okay, none. Noctus hates killing kids.