- [Narrator] We brought together seven strangers,
protected their identities,
and created a space for them to be completely honest.
What will be revealed when they take the mask off?
- [Director] Everyone is racist, including me.
(pulses beeping)
- [Jack] (laughs) I'm not like...
Nobody wants to think of themselves as racist,
and I don't think that I'm racist
in the way that I think we think about racism.
But I think I took the question as these like,
inherent biases that everybody has.
And I think most of the time,
most people are not aware of them.
- [Austin] It's weird, I think there's like,
this new generational divide of like, "You are a racist,"
or, "You said a racist thing,"
and I don't know where the line is.
You might say something a little racist
or something you don't see as racist,
someone calls you out and you're like, "Oh, I'm so sorry."
You know, apologize.
And if you argue that point against them,
then I would say you're a racist.
But if you understand, you come to an understanding
and you learn, everyone would be able,
should be able to forgive that person and be like,
"No, no, you were just...
You made a mistake. People make mistakes."
I don't know. I feel like it's a binary now.
- [Johnny] So I think a really important thing
that kind of it's tough with cancel culture right now
is that road to redemption.
And so after you've said something wrong, you know,
how do you make yourself right again in the public sphere?
At least personally, I feel like I don't see that a lot
with cancel culture is if someone makes amends,
there's now an acceptance like,
"Hey, you did something wrong,
but you're okay now or at least better."
- [Austin] I think social media kind of incentivizes
against redemption and I feel like it's like,
it's just outrage, and I do think people
do like the rush of anger.
I don't think people really believe in redemption anymore.
- [Thomas] I kind of, I guess, just kind of disagree
with the idea of racism as a binary.
It kind of goes back to that like, really old meme
where like Skipper says like,
"We did it Mrs. Obama, racism is over."
The idea of a redemption is just like,
"All right, they've fixed their racism,"
in the sense that like, I think the redemption,
that our society is calling for is impossible.
It's almost like you need to like,
write a check every time you make a racism,
and like, that will absolve you of your thing,
where I think like, what we should be doing is like the idea
of growth towards a better understanding.
(drums pound)
- [Director] I have struggled with my sexuality.
(pulses beeping)
- [Austin] I felt an attraction to men really young,
and I just...
But I didn't connect to gay culture at all.
And I was like, "I'm either straight or gay.
It can't be another one."
So I very consciously put myself in the closet
and, you know, I didn't feel confidence to like,
be my own person, you know, obviously in high school.
And slowly but surely, you know,
I started to come out to more people
and talk about my experience and stuff.
But people come out of the closet, that's one thing.
That's the second step.
The first step is like, really kind of like,
acknowledging it and like, loving yourself.
And that was the hardest part for me,
and I'm pretty good now.
I'm happy. Happy and bi.
- [Jack] Now, very comfortable with my sexuality,
and you know, I know it's a spectrum
but I think I'm for the most part straight.
I struggled with depression for a long time,
and I think one of the side effects of that for me
was I fell into an eating disorder and I got really skinny.
And because I was struggling with an eating disorder,
it made me, for some reason, question my sexuality,
and I understand how messed up that is now.
I started to ask myself
"Why did you associate that, one with the other?"
And I think it was because
it's just not largely talked about with straight men
that people, we can still struggle
with mental health and eating disorders.
- [Thomas] I have a very core memory, somebody might say,
of me walking in to my house after the first day
of first grade and I'm just like, "Hey, mom,
I think I have a crush on my friend."
And my mom kind of laughed and she's like,
"Oh, boys don't have crushes on boys."
And I was like, "Cool, got it. Awesome."
Just put that in the back of my mind.
And I'm still working with, like, the idea
that if I have a crush on a man
that that's not inherently disgusting
because what's more disgusting than a man wanting you?
Or like you said, like, connecting to the gay community
unless you fit like, it seems the tiniest of boxes
is really hard, and even now, like I went out last night
and I had somebody that I kind of like, caught my eye,
but I had no idea how to approach that.
It's like everybody else got like,
a manual and like 17 easy steps
to not have social anxiety when in the club.
And I'm just like, I guess I was sick that day.
I didn't get that class.
I didn't sign up for it on LinkedIn, just...
Sorry, I'm using humor to cover it up.
- No. - It's like...
- [Austin] I went up to a guy
and said, "You're so handsome!"
And I was like, "Oh my God,
that sounds like I'm an old woman."
You know, they're like, "You're so handsome!"
- [Thomas] It's one of those things where it's like,
"Oh, obviously don't say that,"
but it's like, "Okay, but then what do you say?"
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Because like, do I not think that he's handsome?
I don't know. - Yeah.
(drums pound)
- [Director] Have you ever been confused
by consent before?
(pulses beeping)
- [Flex] There have been instances where, you know,
in terms of friends, relationships, whatever,
I can go too far because I misinterpreted consent.
And just because people seem comfortable with something
you kind of go along with it.
- [Jack] Yeah, I think the reason I said yes
was just thinking very specifically about, you know,
situations where both of us have been really drunk
or something like that, where it's like,
it's not one person is sober and the other person's drunk
and the drunk person's saying yes, but if you're both drunk
and both consenting and into it in the moment,
and then the next day, like, I've had like a,
"Neither of us really consented.
Is anybody in the wrong here?"
You know, and so that's kind of where I thought of
when I heard, "I've been confused about consent."
It's not as much in the moment,
but after the fact in that scenario.
- [Flex] Jack, that situation is pretty scary because,
I mean, you interpret it one way and if someone was hurt
and you didn't mean to do that
and you didn't take the precautions for that,
you're still at fault, and that sucks.
And I'm not saying that's your situation,
but it's like, that's the kind of world we live in
where we can really get in trouble sometimes,
even when we don't mean to hurt others, and it sucks.
- [Jack] Yeah, I think that's the whole thing about consent
is, it's not always just like this guy being like,
"Oh, come on, come on."
Like, you know, there's such a finer line.
It's such, there's so many gray areas
that it's really important to have those conversations
because yeah, there can be so many different scenarios
that are still non-consensual, so...
(drums pound)
- [Director] Women have more power than me.
(pulses beeping)
- [Johnny] Yeah, I definitely don't think
women have more power.
And I think some people might think that
just because you're seeing, like, growing relative power
that, you know, some men might not be used to.
Now that women are kind of getting closer to being equal,
to some people that might feel
like they're getting more power
and they might be more powerful.
And so I can understand why someone might, you know,
perceive that as relative, but absolutely, I don't agree
that like, women have more power.
I think we're getting closer to equality at this point
where it's a work in progress.
- [Austin] I don't know. It's like a yes and no question.
I was harassed by a superior who was a woman
at a previous job, like repeatedly harassed.
I reported it to my boss who was a white male,
and he just laughed it off
and said, you know, "Toughen up buttercup."
When women are harassed, I think if I was a woman
and I reported harassment, especially right now
with MeToo and everything,
CEO would see a huge red flag, a huge possible controversy.
And like, I know there is definitely, you know,
ways when that isn't true,
but for me it was just like, "We don't care.
You're a man. Toughen up.
I don't give a (beep). Like, she's a woman.
She can't harass you."
And it was really hard. (sobs)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
And I was really scared and like, if I didn't have some,
you know, good women in my life and some good people,
I wouldn't have taken action.
I would've just toughened up
and I would have let it kill me inside.
- [Jack] I'm sorry that happened.
- [Flex] I'm so sorry, man. - [Johnny] Sorry.
(drums pound)
- [Director] I've (beep) fantasies.
(pulses beep)
- [Thomas] Oh, okay.
So I said yes because like, I can't think of a specific time
but like, I believe I have at one point.
It's more like role playing under very strict guidelines
and with the understanding that my partner will stop
if I ever get too uncomfortable.
In terms of like, fantasizing about actually doing
the very illegal and immoral act, no.
But I think, you know, like role playing
or even like the fiction you read
or even like to a certain extent,
as long as it's ethically made, porn,
like, it's exploring that healthily I think is valid.
And it's something that I think I have done in the past.
- [Austin] Yeah, I kind of agree with that.
Like, I explore it in porn but like personally, no.
Like, it freaks me out too much.
You know, I do have like this kind of feel
of wanting to be dominated by a man, you know, or a woman.
That's more in porn than like, in real life.
I feel like I'd be freaked out (laughs)
in real life if that happened, but...
- [Flex] So in this situation where you're doing this,
like, with your partner that you stated,
are you the person that is receiving this idea of (beep)?
- [Thomas] You're saying, am I playing the role
of the assailant or the victim?
- [Flex] The victim, yeah, are you?
- [Thomas] The role I'm playing
would be that of the assailant in that.
- [Flex] Of the assailant. Okay.
- [Thomas] And my partner would be the victim.
Due to like, social anxiety and like, just a lot of things
that keep me, like, a more like docile
and submissive person, I like exploring a more dominant side
via power dynamics in a safe environment, obviously.
- [Austin] When you're assaulted, like sexually assaulted,
you don't have a choice in the matter
but when you are roleplaying it, you can set, you know,
like a safe word and that kind of, you have the control.
But when it's robbed from, that control is robbed from you,
it, you know, it messes with you.
I think that's the distinction with the role play.
- [Flex] I feel like we kind of
have a misunderstanding here.
I at least think that it's really insensitive, at least,
to be doing these role plays because you will never be able
to feel what these people feel and, like, it kinda...
It's kinda, it's off-shifting to know
that that's something desired, you know?
- [Thomas] I understand that.
And like, like I said, it is something
like obviously I've never experienced it and so what I...
My fantasy kind of might come from
like a position of privilege,
and I think that's why I'd like to explore it
in a healthy way to figure out like,
why exactly I feel that way.
And I understand like, from the outset,
and even like as I explained it, it has the potential
to sound like, incredibly like, jarring and (beep).
- [Flex] The way you're explaining it, though,
like, that's why I'm asking you questions
because I can't instantly assume that you're a (beep) person
but now that I see the way you spoke to me and you know,
you obviously have some feelings about it
that you've thought to yourself over time.
So like, I just wanna...
- [Thomas] No, I appreciate that.
- [Flex] And I think that the way we handled it
is kind of a good way to communicate with others
and understand issues.
- [Thomas] Yeah, no, like, I appreciate the way
you asked the questions and stuff like that, so-
- [Flex] Thank you.
- [Director] I have been abused.
(pulses beeping)
- [Jack] Yeah, I mean, I've been...
- [Austin] I just said, yeah, I have been going through it.
You go through it. (laughs)
- [Jack] No, I think I've just been abused two ways.
And abused is such a, again, like, can mean so many things.
So I've been abused emotionally in a relationship,
but not physically or sexually, but definitely emotionally.
And then I've been abused
as like an employee to an employer.
Again, not sexually or physically,
but just abused their power over me.
- [Austin] As I talked about,
I got harassed by an older female employee.
And working through it, it's always, it's always a process.
I don't know.
- [Flex] My family, they, we've endured emotional,
physical abuse from my father, and I'm sure a lot of people
can, you know, attest and say, you know, the same things.
And he doesn't...
He lives in a whole 'nother country now
so I don't really talk to him and I need that guidance.
You know, when I'm going from 14 to 18 years old,
that's like a really influential time so it's really hard
to have to deal with that on your own.
The worst part was when I told him
about some of the issues I had
because I didn't have him to...
'Cause of the way he, you know, hurt me.
He kind of just said, "That's your fault."
Like "You can't blame me for that and put it on me."
I think this kind of ties into, I wanna bring it in
how sometimes I feel like as a white man
I can't really talk about my problems 'cause it's,
you're always being taught to suck it up.
And I'm sure all of us have been told
that multiple times in your life.
"Suck it up, (beep) buttercup," I heard over here one.
So yeah, for you, right?
I remember with your boss telling you that, you know,
that wasn't valid, and that's not fair.
- [Austin] I don't think just because you're a man or white,
you can't be abused.
I was told that growing up.
- [Thomas] I think abuse kind of requires a power dynamic,
and like, even like all of us, we're white men.
There's always somebody above us.
There's a richer, whiter man, I guess.
So like, what is exactly the top?
'Cause there's always somebody, I think, above us
to abuse us, and that's just not really talked about.
- [Director] Really quickly, I just want to do one thing.
There's gonna be no talking.
It's the last question I have,
and you cannot elaborate on your opinion either way.
Is, the era of white men is over.
(pulses beeping)
(dramatic music)
- [Jack] Really wanted to elaborate on that.
- [Austin] Yeah, that's a good one.
(dramatic music)