- Hey everybody, happy Tuesday, I hope you all had
a wonderful weekend and enjoyed Monday's video.
I'm starting to put together kind of this stress-free
holidays series that I talked about, so keep, you know,
your eyes peeled and subscribe if you haven't subscribed.
But I'll be putting out videos focused on holidays,
some tips and tricks to stay as stress-free
as possible during the holidays.
Okay, so when it's Tuesday, I'm on Tumblr and I have
three questions today, as well as a journal topic.
So let's get going.
First question.
"Hey Kati, I was wondering what the difference is between
"psychologists and therapists.
"Like when you go to see one or the other,
"would they practice differently?
"Is it better to go see one rather than the other?"
This was a good question, I haven't talked about this
in a long time, I think I put out one video,
maybe it's Treatment Team, way back in the day,
like one of my first 10 videos.
I talk about this and I don't know if I've talked
about it differently since then, but the difference between
a therapist and a psychologist is level of schooling.
So I got my master's in clinical psychology
with an emphasis in marriage and family therapists.
Now, social workers get the exact same thing,
except for theirs is a master's in social work.
So you can see how we're focusing on certain things.
Now, a psychologist goes on for two more years after me.
So I got my master's, they get their doctorate
and they become a Ph.D., or some people become a Psy.D.,
which I'm not gonna get into the difference of those.
One's clinical, one's more research-based.
But a psychologist does pretty much exactly the same thing
as a therapist does.
Now, some people when they get, like...
I don't know, people have egos about it, I personally don't.
I considered getting my Ph.D., but the pay difference
and the difference of what I do in my practice
isn't that great.
Psychologists do tend to, or at least in the past,
they used to focus on testing and assessments.
So, because a Ph.D. means that you've done a lot
more research and a lot of them spent time in labs
and working in different research projects,
a lot of them do different testing and assessments
and they are able to do some testing that therapists aren't.
However, it's more normal now for therapists
to be certified to give out certain tests,
to administer certain assessments and tests,
and also for psychologists to do the same,
and then psychologists also do a lot of clinical work
just like I do, and see patients in their practice,
so at the end of the day, there's really no big difference
from what you would feel.
The only difference is really what their degree is
and then we really actually care more about how long
they've been in practice, what their specialties are,
and if we really jive with them, right?
So yeah, so that hopefully answers some of that.
And then if you've seen a psychiatrist,
just to clear things up, they're a medical doctor.
They're the only ones that can prescribe medication,
the only ones that should actually talk to you
about medication, and that's, like I said, psychiatrist.
Okay?
Question number two, "Hey Kati, in my last session
"I ended up being there for an hour and 20 minutes,
"versus the usual 50 minutes.
"I didn't realize it had been that long and the next client
"was waiting when my therapist escorted me out.
"Is it normal to have a session this long?
"I really felt weird about it afterwards, the session
"was pretty intense and I'm assuming she wanted to make sure
"I was safe before I left, but I'm not sure.
"Do you ever get annoyed if you take longer than expected
"with a client?
"Thanks, and P.S., you're amazing."
Oh, thanks, you're amazing.
So, I thought this was a great question, I've never talked
about this before and to answer the one question,
no, I don't get annoyed.
It's actually therapists' choice to stay longer
and to spend more time because let's be realistic,
if we're running our, you know, business,
our therapy practice, 50-minute hours, we are aware
when we're running over because those 10 minutes
are the time that I jot notes, I call patients back,
I respond to emails, I'm doing stuff in those 10 minutes
and that's tight as it is.
So if I'm running over, it's usually because I feel
the patient actually needs it, and it sounds like
that if it was really intense, I have run over...
I don't know if I've run over that far, probably,
maybe about that long, that's probably as long
as I've run over.
But I would pop out and tell the person waiting,
"Sorry I'm running over, I'll be out in 15 minutes,"
or whatever, but it's usually to make sure that you're safe
and that things are okay, because if I'm only seeing you
once a week, then I wanna make sure things are okay
in that other six days in between when I see you.
So that's really why we do it.
I don't get annoyed, it's a choice that we make clinically
as we're with you, noticing that if you need more time,
you need a little extra, you know, processing.
Sometimes clients even won't bring up big things or be able
to even talk about something 'till towards the end,
so they barely get any time to process it,
so that's maybe why we run over.
But yeah, it's our choice, it's not something that I get
annoyed with, it's just something that happens
'cause everybody's situation's different and some days
can be really hard, m'kay?
And I'm glad you have a good therapist who did that
when you needed the extra time.
Okay, question number three, "Can you talk about how
"a married couple/long term committed relationship
"might deal with the strain of mental illness,
"something other than just going to couples therapy?
"Thanks."
Thought this was also a good question, good questions, guys.
So many times you have so many good questions.
The best way to talk about it is, other than
couples therapy, so let's say we've to couples therapy
and we've learned some communication techniques
because the thing that couples usually struggle
with the most is bringing it up in the first place.
Like, "Where do I even start?
"Uh, so awkward."
But if we've started with couples therapy, then we'll have
already broken the ice, we'll have already started talking
about it, we'll already have some verbiage that we've used
and we can go from there.
So I would encourage you to set aside time, which I know
sounds silly whether you have kids or not, or you're
living together or not, you need to set aside time
each week where you just talk.
Whether it's like a family meeting, or it's date night,
or whatever you wanna call it.
Make sure you're setting aside time because the difficult
thing with life as we know it now, is that there's
so many distractions.
I mean, I can sit on a subway and not talk to anybody
'cause I can be on my phone, right?
And I can be with my spouse, or my boyfriend or girlfriend,
and we can not even be communicating 'cause we're watching
TV, or we're on our phones.
And so we have to set aside time where we actually
communicate, like a dinner every night where you don't
bring your phones or an evening at home that you turn
the TV off and you put your phones in the back room,
or whatever.
That is pivotal because we really need to focus
and have some good talk time, right?
Now from there, the most important thing that you have
to work on as a couple is honesty,
even when it can feel really scary or embarrassing,
or whatever it may be.
Depending on what your mental illness is,
the more we communicate about it.
So let's give an example.
So let's say we're struggling with anxiety disorders
and we have bad social anxiety.
Holidays are coming, we're getting party invitations,
your spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, really wants
to go to this one and you're like, freaking out already.
We need to have the verbiage when we have our meeting
that week, maybe we make notes during the week to make sure
we don't forget anything.
Then we need to say something like,
"This event's coming up and it's really giving me a lot
"of anxiety."
And then we need to know what we need from them.
That's the struggle most people have, when we're having
some kind of issue or we need to communicate,
we don't really know what we're communicating about
or what we're asking them for, or what they may need
from us, so we need to find time to figure out what we need
from them or even ask, like, "I may not know what I need
"from you, but kind of what I'm feeling now..."
Ooh, sorry, bumped my elbow.
"What I'm feeling right now is that I would just really
like your support and I'd like to only stay for an hour."
Or whatever.
And that's just one example, but the key of this being
that we set aside time each week to communicate
about things, we make notes during the week of things
that we wanna bring up and we keep talking about them.
No matter how embarrassed you think you may be,
no matter how uncomfortable the situation, no matter
how much we're worried that we might let down our partner.
At the end of the day, if we keep an open dialog about,
"You know, I was really struggling with eating
"the other night and it was really great that you
"got seconds, 'cause then that gave me, you know,
"permission to eat."
Whatever your issue is, the more we communicate about it,
let each other know how much we appreciate them.
Thanksgiving is coming up and it's a great time
to remind those that we love, you know, how thankful we are
for all the things that they do for us, but keep talking
about it, keep conversing with one another.
If you're concerned, if you're the person
in the relationship who isn't struggling
with mental illness, it's okay to ask questions,
it's okay to say, "I noticed you were a little distraught
the other day, is it your social anxiety?
"Is it your eating disorder, is it your whatever?"
And as the person with it, we need to be able
to hear that and to respond, and for it to be okay
to talk about it.
It's the fear of talking about it that usually
ruins relationships, okay?
Now, journal topic from anonymous, so thanks, anonymous.
You'll know who you are when I say it.
Says, "Possible journal topic?"
I think so.
"Sometimes journaling is really hard and you don't know
where to start."
I hear from a lot of you, "I don't know where to start."
"My therapist had me, instead of normal journaling,
"write down song quotes."
Like we were talking about last week.
"And that, I felt, that I could identify with.
"It was actually fun to come up with quotes and help me
"identify how I was feeling."
I really, really liked that identifying how you're feeling,
like finding songs that express an emotion to you,
which can help us figure out what we're even feeling
in the first place, which many of you have said
you struggle with.
So I thought that was really cool, I hope you like it
and I hope you use it.
And today is Veteran's Day in the States,
and unfortunately I had to work today, but I wanted
to thank all of our vets and their families
for the sacrifices that they've given to us, to keep us
and our families safe and happy where we live.
I can't thank anybody enough for all of the sacrifices
they've made, whether it's the life of a loved one,
or it's just time away from family.
It's something that I am so grateful for and I thank all
of you for everything.
Have a wonderful day, enjoy the evening, and I'll
see you all tomorrow.
I'll be on the website and I'll be on YouTube, so ask your
questions below today's video, bye.