7 Things You Must Avoid When Fighting With Your Beloved
Relationships are great – all these breakfasts in bed, little romantic adventures and an
incredible feeling of unity, right?
But on the other side, not everything is always rainbows and fun.
We are all people, and we get angry and frustrated with one another from time to time.
During these moments it can be so easy to hurt a person with a word or an action.
The resentment can linger for much longer after the fight is over, ruining your relationship,
without you even realizing it.
So, Bright Side chose seven things you should never ever do while fighting with your loved
ones.
Watch our video to find out what little actions can cause a serious crack in your relationships.
I mean, if you already started fighting, it's better to do it at least correctly, isn't
it?
Let's get to it!
#7.
Don't include other family members in your fight
Sometimes in the heat of the moment, you really want to have someone by your side, telling
you that in this conflict you're the one, who's right, or at least telling you that
your partner is totally wrong.
So, you call your mom, your sister or any other family member for support.
Well, trust me, that's not that great of an idea.
Remember, your fight concerns only the two of you and no one else.
By drawing your parents or any other people into the conflict, you risk turning a regular
fallout into a real family mess.
After regularly doing so, the first thought of the chosen family member would be “Oh
no, not again, what happened this time?”, then it will gradually turn into a firm belief
that your partner is no good for you, even if you were fighting over who's going to wash
the dishes today.
Even if harmony returns to your relationship, the other members of the family will most
likely remember everything and will use that against you or your partner when given a chance.
So, if you don't want your family to give your partner a major side eye at all the future
family events, then try to keep these misunderstandings between the two of you.
It's your relationship after all, and only you two should figure it out and have a saying
in it.
#6.
Avoid violence When we get angry, all the ugly traits of
our personalities are exposing, including aggression.
It comes from the fact that you start to feel like words don't work anymore and you become
desperate to make someone agree with you or accept his or her mistake.
Violence can never be good for any relationship, no matter the circumstances.
It's a line that must not be crossed.
Don’t allow yourself or your partner to use violence, no matter how angry you might
be with each other!
If you feel like the things are starting to heat up, just separate and go to different
rooms.
Seriously, the silence is the best solution for any conflict.
You calm yourself down, think everything through once again and realize all the mistakes you
made during the discussion, and at times even the stupidity of the whole fight.
Getting physical is never the answer, it will make the complete opposite effect and ruin
your relationship once and for all.
And for the ones that are in the abusive relationships right now, even though we hope that there
are not that many of you, just leave and never look back.
Unfortunately, it's most likely that your partner won't change.
He or she has been using this form of problem-solving for so long that it became a habit, so it's
completely pointless to think that it will change.
Pack your bags or his or her bags and end this as soon as you can – it won't go anywhere,
and you deserve way better than that!
...Well, that got kind of dark, let's move along to our next point!
#5.
Don't mix it all up When you fight with someone, you naturally
start to remember every situation in which he or she did something wrong.
Never use it as an argument in your conflict.
Yes, it feels acceptable at that moment to tell your partner that it's always his or
her fault and, by the way, he or she didn't even wash a dog yesterday or forgot to clean
up last Tuesday, but it will make your conflict even bigger.
You were fighting about one thing, and now, congratulations, you're fighting about every
single mistake you did this month!
What a successful way to solve a problem!
But seriously, this type of conflict would end up getting ugly pretty quick, and leave
you two red-faced from constant yelling.
Also, your partner may have a logical question: do I need to continue a relationship in which
there are so many demands?
If the fight has already started, stick to the main issue and don't try to prove your
point by bringing up past issues.
Who doesn't make mistakes?
The important thing is to learn from them.
So, don't be way too hard on your loved ones, and don't make a huge deal out of small and
domestic conflicts.
#4.
Never ever talk about a divorce Divorce is a complete end of your relationship
as a couple, and you shouldn't bring it up unless you are 100 percent sure that you really
want it and there is no other way left to save your marriage.
You may not realize it now, but when you say "Let’s divorce" during a fight, this can
become the biggest insult ever.
These words may hurt the feelings of your partner really badly.
Even if you do not mean it, if you say it on a regular basis, be prepared that one day
your partner will answer “Yes, let's do this!”.
And what a major oops moment it would be!
You may think that by doing it you'll make your partner reevaluate once again how important
this marriage is to him or her, but instead, you'll plant this seed of an idea in his or
her head.
And the more you will fight, the more your partner will think of a divorce as a possible
option.
So, no divorce talks – only a very few and serious misunderstandings and conflicts do
cost a relationship, and yours is most probably not on this small list.
#3.
Never leave the house in the middle of the fight
Making a dramatic speech, slamming the doors and running into the darkness may seem cool
in the movies, but in real life, it's definitely not a great way to solve the problem.
We are all adults here and simply leaving the house during a fight will only show how
uncomfortable you feel staying under the same roof as your partner.
And if after this you go to your parents' or other family members' house, it's even
a double trouble!
But seriously, this kind of behavior is quite childish and useless, that will definitely
make your partner think twice about your level of maturity.
If you don't feel like seeing your loved one right now and want to be alone, just go to
the different room and think things through.
You will calm down faster than you'd think.
And that's the part when it's better for you two to start the simple discussion again,
this way as an adult, and cover all of the possible issues.
#2.
Do not go to bed separately Conflicts usually change the daily routine
a little bit for some couples – they start to avoid each other for some time until they
cool off and ready to bury the hatchet.
And the most common thing among all these little changes is sleeping separately for
one or more nights.
However, this is not a good policy to follow at all!
By going to sleep separately, you show that you are not ready to make up.
Something as simple as sleeping together, even if you're trying to be as distant from
each other as possible, will ease the atmosphere and quickly resolve the conflict.
Yes, you may lay back to back at first, but in the morning you will wake up in each other’s
arms without the tiniest hint of last night’s fight.
And there you go, the fight is over, and you're a happy couple straight from a romantic movie
all over again!
Of course, it doesn't always work this quickly, but not to avoid each other is a huge step
towards finding the compromise and making up.
#1.
Never fight in public This is the universal rule for any relationship,
whether it's romantic one or not – never take skeletons out of your closet in public.
You will probably agree that seeing a couple, who yells at each other in a public place,
is truly and utterly disgusting.
So, if you allow yourself and your partner to fight in a public place, then, most likely,
you do not respect each other or the surrounding people.
In this situation, your conflict becomes ugly from the beginning, and no matter what you
say, you do not appear in a good light both as your own person and together as a couple.
If your partner thinks it's alright to openly discuss your mistakes or even calling you
names in front of other people, think twice whether he or she deserves your time and attention.
Respect is the core of any relationship, and we shouldn't forget about that!
Do you have any advice of your own on how to make any fight a bit more harmless for
a relationship?
Don't be shy, share and discuss your opinions in the comment section below!
Don't forget to hit the like button and share this video with your partner and your friends!
Subscribe to our channel for more videos like this and remember to always stay on the Bright
Side of life.
See you soon!