Hey guys it's me Veralyn.
So we spent a lot of time talking about your sexual habits
now as adults but for most of us sex came up
before 18th birthdays. So, besides your friends
who did you talk to about sex? Did you talk to your mom?
What did your mom growing up tell you about sex? -Nothing.
She found out that I was fooling around with a guy and she give me a book and
it had a chapter on masturbation.
My mother didn't tell me anything about sex. It was just
expected that I was gonna wait until marriage.
I mean her biggest fears was me, um,
me, you know, impregnating one of the females, you know, cause my sister was
already, you know, she already had two kids so, you know,
she doesn't want me to go down that road before me finishing school.
Like my mom was very old school so
we really didn't have, like, the sex talk. Like, I talked
to my four older sisters about it and that's how I learned
and like just to get the whole jist of it--this is like very embarrassing btw--
I watched like a porno and I was like "Oh, this is what sex is supposed to be."
So no, most of us did not get that heart to heart sex talk with our parents.
I certainly didn't, but based on what they instilled in me
culturally and religiously I knew growing up
I should not even be thinking about sex. Get as
early as elementary school I remember talking about what those kids were doing
behind the dumpsters.
Before your mom even mentioned sex to you ever you were sexually active. -Uhuh
How did you know about sex, like, what was the first time you were like
"Oh this and this equals sex."? -I didn't know what it was, like a,
funny story
I was a kid and the guy was giving me head. He was a kid too he was my age, um
I grew up with him. He lived around the block. I still talk to him. Uh, he's straight
now, his girlfriend, all that jazz. But anyway, we called an orgasm that feeling
and we would actually get there and we would stare at each other's
penises because we couldn't figure out if it was it or something was coming out
I didn't know what an orgasm was until I was fifteen or sixteen
but I was getting them as young as 11 and I'm just like
we just didn't know what it was. Sex
the way you and I know it just didn't occur to me
it was this feels good. This is fun.
Anything that feels good must be good.
I mean sex was just something that was just always there, I mean I remember
in fifth grade, actually um, you know
one of the girls was pregnant at our fifth grade graduation
from PSI and then she had another baby, um,
when she was in 7th grade. I mean I had classmates that had been having sex
6th, 7th, 8th grade, high school. It was just always around me.
It was just something that everyone else did.
We both taught in New York. I was a middle school teacher
and I had students that there were rumors going around there was all kinds
of things
um, about what they were doing sexually and it was shocking actually to me.
I had no idea that was really the first time that I
um, realized that- that
kids were really having sex at 11
12 years old. I thought it was just, you know, little pockets here and there
but I realized that okay this is really
me something that's really going on.
What are you gonna do differently with your kids
when it comes to sex ed or teaching them about sex?
Uh, I will let them know that I love them and I'm gonna give them my best judgment
you know and I just hope they're gonna follow by my principles. You know what I mean?
I think if we frame all these sticky subject in terms of intelligent
decisions.
Instead of saying it's just wrong not giving them an explanation
I think things will work out a lot better.
Honestly, it's hard for me to even consider what I tell my kids
as I'm all worried about my birth control than giving birth
but I do have a little niece who will probably become curious about sex a lot
sooner than I wanna
think. So I wanna be ready for her questions.
In the meantime though, I'm gonna keep asking mine.