Peter Moriarty: The challenge of being in public domain,
particularly the challenge of building audience, and
following, you know, I've got currently 15,000 subscribers on
my YouTube channel because of technology because of that
reach. It's just impossible with the overwhelming criticism that
can actually flow in now, yes, it may not necessarily match by
any means the amount of positive responses that I get from the
content that I put out there. But there is absolutely part of
me that just feels a little sting. Anytime one of those
comments come in, that's the first thing that I think is
deployed. It's like emotionally disconnecting lack of empathy.
And I'm curious, really curious what you think about that, and
how you may have experienced that yourself? And I'd love to
know in the comments, is this something that you've had to do
have you had to emotionally disconnect when you read
comments, or when you've read responses to your content when
you're putting it out there to the world. So next up, I want to
talk about manipulation. And the M word is a naughty word. For
those that have experienced emotional abuse, something that
feels really icky to even say, and for me, personally, on my
journey, I used to feel really icky even saying that word. And
I remember a friend of mine, Mitch once said to me, Pete, can
I manipulate you into having more fun, and I was like, Ah,
that feels so damn edgy. And let's talk about how a leader
may deploy manipulation, how may they deploy manipulation for the
good of a business for the good of a team for the good of those
they are leading. Now, one thing that I have learned in my time
as an entrepreneur is that leading is all about people.
And, you know, being in business being an organization's is
really all about people. It's just people, people, people,
people, people. And as a leader, I've come to discover that my
job is really about helping people to play nice together,
helping teams to work coherently together, and helping them you
know, many different people from different backgrounds with
different unique value sets, helping them to try and find
ways to play nice together. And interestingly, a little story
from my childhood. And for me, part of my unique dynamic that
I'm able to bring to the table is my parents divorced when I
was eight years old. And they really didn't get along for the
next 10 years of being divorced, even though they obviously had
shared custody of us kids. And we were going back and forth
between mums and dads house, but they really didn't get along.
And I found in my experience, where I'd have, you know, one
parent telling me something about the other parent, and you
know, another parent telling me something about the first parent
that, you know, may have been true, maybe not true. But for me
was challenging to be in the middle of there were all these
different values and different ideas and different opinions of
each other. That didn't necessarily gel. And so I've
found that one of my great skills that I've been able to
bring into the workplace is to be able to take, you know, a
bunch of people with different ideas and different opinions,
and help them to as much as possible, work well together as
a team. Basically, you're wrangling humans. And so for
those that have that skill, okay, well, you know, where may
we need to deploy the skill of manipulation? Where might we
need to use manipulation as a skill here to have people work
nicely together. And the example that comes to mind for me is,
you know, imagine you have a scenario where you have, you
know, two different team members, and they're bitching
about each other, right. And, you know, they don't get along,
for whatever reason, they value different things in life. And
that's going to happen when you have a diverse team. When you
have multiple humans in your business, you're going to have
people who don't get along on a personal level, even though
they're expected to get along on a professional level, and
actually work together. Right. And and just imagine for a
second, you have someone complaining to you, I really
don't like it when Barbara over there is slow to respond to
emails, right. Bob is just really slow to respond to
emails. And I think that's unprofessional. You can tell the
judgment is coming in there. Right. I think they should be
different. I don't think that's the right way for them to be
that's a that's a judgment. That's a judgment. I think
that's wrong. That's a judgment. I imagine you also think it's
unprofessional for someone to be slow to respond to emails,
right. But in that leadership scenario, your response to your
one goal is to actually keep the peace. You want goal is for the
team to be coherent, and to work together. So the wrong response
is to jump back into that and say, Fuck, Barbara. You know,
yeah, that that pisses me off to either. Yep. I
think that's I think that's stupid, because because what you
do there is you actually you add fuel to the fire of the division
between the person who's complaining about Barbara and
Barbara, that's actually not the right way to go about that
situation. What do we have to do in that situation? We have to do
we have to go back to that stuff. And we have to say, Yep,
I understand that. I understand that, you know, that may be
challenging for you. And Barbara's, you know, hasn't
responded, a good leader would say, Well, you know, what
options? Do you have to deal with that? Have you communicated
that with Barbara, you know, what have you done to solve the
problem yourself, rather than, you know, taking the monkey off
their back and putting it on your back? You know, how can you
deal with this in a way the manipulation there is to put
aside your own judgments to put aside your own opinions, to put
aside the measurement of the trauma bond that is there just
waiting for you to manipulate yourself into not going into
that trap, but also to manipulate that person by not
agreeing with them and not validating What they are sharing
in order for the greater good of the team and the coherence of
the team to actually help support them. The next trait I
want to talk about self aggrandizing nation, the
unrealistic belief about oneself, the narcissistic belief
that one is superior, and one is above all else, and you know,
and this person is the one and the story of Narcissus was he
looked into a pond and he fell in love with his own beautiful
image and then and then he fell in I think he drowned or
something that is the narcissist the narcissist has this false,
aggrandized sense of self and belief in oneself. So that trade
sounds pretty negative and sounds pretty not useful. And,
you know, the inflated ego, you know, Ego is the Enemy. It
sounds like it can never never actually be useful, right? But
where may it be useful for an entrepreneur? To have an insane
self belief in oneself? Where do you think that might be useful?
Where do you think it might be useful to have an unrealistic
view that things will be successful and that you will
prevail, and that your solution is the right one, and that you
have the conviction that it's going to work? Well, it's kind
of every day. It's kind of every day that the entrepreneurs, we
are faced with the challenges that may potentially kill the
business, we are faced with the challenges that seem, you know,
in some insurmountable that we're faced with the challenges
that seem to be punching us in the face every day, and many
entrepreneurs talk about, you know, just sticking it out for
the first 1000 days, just getting through the first three
years, just getting your 10,000 hours, you need to have an
unrealistic belief in yourself and an unrealistic belief in the
business and in the success of the business, for you to
actually get through that. Because as the great Steve Jobs
says, like, you know, when you're getting smashed in the
face, when you're when you're having those down days, like you
have to have that unrealistic belief, otherwise, any sane
person would give up. So it's up to you to deploy some
narcissistic self belief, not necessarily belief that you're
above others, but belief that you will succeed belief that you
will prevail, so that you can actually just exist as an
entrepreneur. That you know, there's no way there's no easy
way to say it. Entrepreneurs entrepreneurship is a
challenging road, you are choosing a challenging road, you
are choosing some pain on that road. And having an unrealistic
belief in yourself can help from time to time, probably not
something that you want to make use of every day of the week in
every interaction you have in every relationship that you have
in all areas of your life, but in business from time to time,
if it makes sense for you to use it. I hope you have enjoyed this
video. We've delved into some pretty interesting stuff you
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