First of all, my name is Khalil Fuad Bamatraf from Hadhramout
I'm 22 years old, in my 6th year of medicine school
I'm sure everyone is now wondering about my name [Khalil is a male name]
Some lean to their friends whispering; is her name really Khalil?
Some laughing or so..am I right? This is expected
Today, I will tell you who named me Khalil, why and the reason why I kept it unchanged.
When I was selected as a speaker and my name and bio were published;
I was so delighted and thought of taking a look at the comments posted on Facebook
One comment was; "when did they start calling girls "Khalil?"
The next one was; " They must have made a mistake..LOL"
Another one; a girl posted shocked emoticon "Khalil??!!"
As much as I was happy and filled with joy, these comments took me 17 years back
When I was 4 or 5 and used to play with the children in the street;
Those children wouldn't call me Khalil, but rather "Abdullah! Mohammed" and boys names
Not to mention the unforgettable humiliation in the Arab airports
Every time I visit an Arab country, I would spend like 15-30 minutes being interrogated regarding my name
with officers comparing the passport to me and so on
I'm going to tell you now be patient
You know that I came from Hadhramout
The first time boys and girls are coed was in college
I went to med school and it was the first time there were boys in the classroom as well
I was scared
Anyway, one lecturer was calling the attendees names
He called my name; "Khalil Fuad Bamatraf"
I raised my hand up to show him that I was there
But he was looking in the boys' direction
He called my name again and I said; "Yes, Sir here"
He said; "Is that your name or you father's? hahahaha"
I don't forget the advice Dr. Tareq AlSuwaidan gave me last year
When he told me; "Change your name or at least make it Khalila, to spare yourself the trouble in the official papers"
The issue, quite simply and fairly is...
That my late father, like any middle-eastern father, wanted his first child to be a male
But I came. So he gave my mother the choice between naming me "Khalil",
My mom hoped; "the other choice must be a nice name and I will pick it"
What do you expect it to be? He said; "Qaroura [bottle]"!
And he was serious indeed!
They named me Khalil, then
And when I was young, I would cry and demand my father to change it
But he rejected
However, as I grew up, I felt that wherever a "Khalil" passes by, he leaves an impact
Either by name or by action
So, I now I'm in love with every letter of my name and take so much pride in it
This is a photo of me with my late father, I was strange-looking as a child
I remember from my childhood that when I was 5 or 6 ů
Unlike the other children who usually spend their holidays in the park, out in picnics or visiting relatives
This is the ordinary childhood every child shall be entitled to
But when I was 5 or 6, my first Eid holiday was spent in the prison
There was a bench, it was dark and instead of being surrounded by balloons, we had soldiers
My father was a prominent political activist, so he would always be held in detention
While my mother stayed at home
So my dream was to spend an Eid with both of them together
So the detention center was the only place this could actually materialize
We used to have launch in there and the only thing that mattered was being all together
When people remember their childhood;
they would typically recall fireworks, other children and balloons..
I'm not saying this to elicit your sympathy but the experiences I had, have made me 1 million years older
I used to see pistols, bombs, riflesů
The police patrol car at our gate only because my father was a political activist
This, in a nutshell, was my childhood
Things continued this way until I graduated from high school
I got an A
My father advised me to join the medicine school because I had such high grades
My mother wanted me to study media because I wasn't wearing a niqab
My younger brother said; "go to the cooking school to make lasagna" !
There were plenty of choices
I was interested in them all, except for the lasagna of course!
I went to med school and decided to take part in the media events
In my first semester, I was ranked second in the university
The first person I called to give the news to was my father
I gave him the news happily, he told me;
"well, for the moment we have rallies to protest the price rises and I will get you a present in a week"
I was so delighted
A week passed by, it was February
There were multiple wedding parties at the time, so I was busy trying dresses
The door knocked, my mother came in carrying the dress she was supposed to wear to the wedding,
She said; Khalil where are you going?
I said; I'm going to the wedding
She said; "Your father died"
For any person,ů.
Hearing sad news like this at times you were expecting something joyful
Was painful..
The pain I had to go through sedated me so much
My grades declined dramatically, I passed with C mostly
I felt totally strange
I spent one or two weeks without shedding a tear
Pain had sedated me to the extent I wasn't feeling anymore
6 or 7 months later, I was still frequenting to college without interest in passing or failing
A great person stepped in to help me; my true inspiration: My mother
I had a chance to attend a training seminar in Sanaa
For the Youth Peer Education Network (Y-Peer)
It was concerned with education through entertaining in the fields of
Reproductive health, life skills, early marriage and reproductive health in general
I went to Sanaa, attended the training and went happily back to Hadhramout
Now, Hadhramout is a semi-rural community governed by traditions and customs
So If I wanted to talk about female circumcision [FGM]ůit's a taboo
The same goes for STDs..
And If I wanted to talk about family planning and contraceptives..
It will require much work and effort
So, again, I went into a period of silence
Then I thought; "it isn't necessary to tell people I will lecture you on FGM, for instance"
You can say; this is a training about mother's health
I started out from AlShihr region, a predominantly rural area
I publilicized a seminar on Mother's Health
All the mothers in the area showed up
and very conveniently I passed on messages about FGM, early marriages and FP methods
the energy I had since I was a child and the pain that numbed me have all started gradually to release
and then I just broke out; went to schools, institutes, universities
and Quran centers and even mosques in the rural areas
I did a lot of things there
This my father, may his soul rest in peace
In August 2008, I was selected as the first leader of Y-Peer network in Yemen
I was happy and filled with joy
But the door was wide open and opportunities kept on coming
Until I represented the University of Hadhramout and all medicine schools in Yemen
In the Women Conference and I was the youngest speaker to talk about CEDAW
I attended training sessions with Dr. Tareq AlSuwaidan and won the second place in the Leaders Academy competition
I went on to represent Yemen in plenty of events
Three days ago, I was selected as an ambassadress of "RAWA" in Yemen
In general, I'm not here to show off and narrate my achievements
I have reached internal peace within myself
Starting with attention then silence and finally accomplishment
I'm not a superwoman nor the best or the one who achieved the most
But seriously, my childhood, what my name had put me through, the societyů
I feel that I've truly left an impact
That's all
Peace be upon you