You know about Bolhofner, right?
I heard from Cici, who heard from Girl Jordan,
he's an escaped convict.
[laughing]
I heard from Chandler, who heard from his mom,
that he's a cannibal.
They call him 'Skull-hofner'
[laughing]
I heard from Lunch-lady Pat that he's a mobster.
He can make a feller just plain disappear.
[laughing]
So, some bad news...
looks like the wrong bus was reserved.
We're not gonna have enough seats.
[shrieking]
No prob.
I'll just drive whoever's left in the school van.
It's got room for plenty of bodies.
[groaning]
Huh?
Looks like you chuckleheads are riding with me!
Let me grab the keys... and a crowbar.
Plenty of bodies?
A crowbar?!
We're gonna be Skull-hofner chow.
Guys, relax. The Hof's my homeroom teacher.
I'd know if he was a convict, or a cannibal, or a mobster.
Trust me. We've got nothing to worry about.
- Yeah. - It's gonna be fine.
Go! Before Bolhofner gets back!
Dang door never opens right.
[grunting]
You know, I could have sworn I booked the bus
with more seats.
So, who wants the front?
- Dibs not! - Dang it.
Anybody want some jerky? Made it myself...
in my basement.
I bet it's people jerky.
[gasping]
[shrieking]
So, Mr. Bolhofner, what do you like to do for fun?
Fun, huh? Watch movies, I guess.
No! Way! We like movies too!
Video games.
Also awesomely normal.
And hunting small prey at night.
[groaning]
[brakes screeching]
[honking]
Wow. That's a lot of Flippee syrup.
It'll take hours and hours to clean,
we should just head back to school.
Yeah, Stella.
No need for that. I know a shortcut.
[screaming]
Mr. Bol... Ow!... hofner,
you sure you know... Ow! ...where you're going?
Of course! I come out here whenever I need to dispose
of... my composting pile.
[sighing]
I think we should pull over.
Oh, good thinking, Clyde.
You fake sick, Skull-hofner stops, we run.
[barfing]
Wow, he's really selling it.
We can't escape
with Skull-hofner's eagle eye on us.
Guys, my cousin Derek's a cop now.
He says it always plays out like this.
Helpless victim plus deserted road equals...
[choking]
[gasping]
Guys, get a grip.
First of all... Derek's not a cop,
he's a part-time security guard at the outlets.
Still got a badge.
And yes, there's been weirdness,
like Bolhofner booking the wrong bus,
and the creepy shortcut,
and the whole hunting small prey thing.
But, none of that means anything.
Not all of us have your endless optimism, Lincoln.
[shrieking]
I got a text from Mrs. Salter.
The bus is stuck in three feet of Flippee syrup.
The field trip's cancelled.
I'll take you kids back to school.
Phew.
See? Didn't I say we'd be fine?
- Yeah. - I guess.
[thudding]
Huh?!
[groaning]
Of all the times not to have a spare.
Out here, where no one can find us,
just as it's about to get dark.
Luckily, I have a hunting cabin nearby.
Guys, we are so gonna be jerky.
Ah, just a little farther.
There's a landline so we can call your folks.
Keep up! There's a lot of bears in these woods.
So we're hiking to our own graves?
Here it is.
[thundering]
[thundering, shrieking]
[thundering]
What is that thing? Some kind of medieval weapon?
Phone's out.
[thundering]
Guess I'll go get some firewood from the shed.
Derek says they always have a shed.
Rusty, stop it. This really isn't so bad.
It's actually kind of cozy in here.
Let's get out of here!
[grunting]
Help!
He locked it. From the outside!
Ugh. Trapped like a plump chipmunk
in a knothole.