I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THE NEWS.
LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT.
ON SUNDAY REPUBLICAN SENATOR BOB CORKER GOT INTO A TWITTER FEUD
WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP THAT ENDED WITH CORKER POSTING, IT'S A
SHAME THE WHITE HOUSE HAS BECOME AN ADULT DAYCARE CENTER.
SOMEONE OBVIOUSLY MISSED THEIR SHIFT THIS MORNING.
IT IS FUNNY, CORKER'S TWEET IS FUNNY IT IS NOT ENTIRELY
ACCURATE.
A DAYCARE CENTER WOULD IMPLY THAT SOMEONE THERE IS ACTUALLY
IN CHARGE.
(LAUGHTER) BUT THEN LATE SUNDAY MORNING BOB
CORKER GAVE AN INTERVIEW AND IT SAID IT CONCERNED HIM THAT TRUMP
RUNS THE WHITE HOUSE THAT QUOTE LIKE HE'S DOING "THE APPRENTICE"
EXACTLY.
AGAIN NOT ENTIRELY ACCURATE, ON QUTIONZ THE APPRENTICE "ONLY ONE
PERSON GOT FIRED PER WEEK.
NOW WORKER, THE THING IS, NOW, BOB CORKER CAN OPENLY CRITICIZE
TRUMP BECAUSE HE ISN'T RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION.
HE'S BASICALLY THE GUY WHO HAS QUIT HIS JOB AND DOES ONE LAST
TOUR THROUGH THE OFFICE-- (LAUGHTER)
>> NEVER LIKED YOU, YOU SUCK, YOU SUCK, YOU I ATE YOUR YOGURT,
YOU'RE COOL, I'M OUT.
(APPLAUSE) IN OTHER WHITE HOUSE NEWS I'M
SURE YOU SAW THIS.
YESTERDAY VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE ATTEND THE INDIANAPOLIS
COLTS GAME FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
PENCE LEFT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME IN PROTEST TO FOOTBALL
PLAYERS KNEELING DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
NOW LET'S BE HONEST, PENCE WOULD HAVE LEFT ANYWAY AS SOON AS HE
SAW AN UNMARRIED COUPLE ON THE KISS-CAM.
ACTUALLY, THE REAL REASON PENCE LEFT THE GAME EARLY WAS BECAUSE
HE FOUND THE MASCOT'S OUTFIT FAR TOO REVEALING.
(LAUGHTER) I DO SEE HIS POINT.
WHERE ARE HIS PANTS.
GO TO THE FOOTBALL GAME WITH PANTS ON.
IT'S BEING REPORTED THAT THIS PLANNED PUBLICITY STUNT BY PENCE
COST TAXPAYERS ABOUT A MILLION DOLLARS.
TO WHICH PUERTO RICO SAYS, HEY, HOW IS THAT BUDGET COMING ALONG.
HERE IS THE IF THE OWE THAT PENCE POSTED YESTERDAY OF HE AND
HIS WIFE AT THE COLTS STADIUM.
HERE THEY ARE HERE.
NOW THE THING IS, THIS IS TALLLY A IF THE OWE FROM 2014.
RIGHT?
SO HE JUST POSTED AN OLD PHOTO AND THREW A VALENCIA FILTER ON
IT.
YES, SO THAT PHOTO HE POSTED YESTERDAY IS OUTDATED.
JUST LIKE MAKE PENCE'S VIEWS ON RACE, GENDER, SEX, MARRIAGE, AND
CLIMBATE CHANGE.
(APPLAUSE) ALSO OVER THE WEEKEND, SOME
SHOCKING NEWS OUT OF HOLLYWOOD AFTER NEW ALLEGATIONS EMERGE
THAT HE HAD ENGAGED IN DECADES OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT, HARVEY
WYNNESTEIN WAS FIRED FROM HIS FIRM THE WEINSTEIN COME, FOR
VIOLATING THE 27.
>> HERE HURRICANE HARVEY WAS LIKE DUDE, YOU'RE GIVING ME A
BAD NAME.
THE FACT IS, HIS BEHAVIOR LEFT ROOM FOR ONLY TWO OPTIONS, FIRE
HIM FROM THE WEINSTEIN COMPANY OR ELECT HIM PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES.
(LAUGHTER) AND FINALLY, ON A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT NOTE DOES EVERYONE HERE, DO YOU REMEMBER, DO YOU
REMEMBER AOL INSTANT MESSENGER?
IT WAS LIKE THE PRECURSOR TO MODERN DAY TEXTING.
LAST WEEK AOL ANNOUNCED IT WILL BE SHUTTING DOWN AIM IN
DECEMBER.
I KNOW.
I KNOW, THIS IS DEVASTATING NEWS FOR THREE OF YOU.
(LAUGHTER) THE COMPANY RELEASED A
STATEMENT, THIS IS THE STATEMENT, THEY SAID FROM
SETTING THE PERFECT AWAY MESSAGE TO THAT FAMILIAR RING OF AN
INCOMING CHAT, AIM WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN OUR
HEARTS.
THEY SENT THAT STATEMENT IN AN EMAIL WHICH PEOPLE WILL FIND
THREE MONTHS FROM NOW IN THEIR GMAIL SPAM FOLDER.
BUT A DECEMBER SHUTDOWN ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR SOME PEOPLE.
TODAY MIKE PENCE SAID HE WANTS INSTANT MESSENGER SHUT DOWN
IMMEDIATELY.
BECAUSE THAT LITTLE AOL GUY IS SUSPICIOUSLY CLOSE TO TAKING A
KNEE.