The idea that we're keeping children safe by witholding information from them is just completely insane.
It's like trying to keep somebody from being hit by a truck by refusing to tell them what traffic is.
So, the first time that I was introduced to sex ed was in fifth grade, with my teacher
gathering us all on the carpet with a pop-up book.
It was the pelvis and then it had arrows pointing to – these are the fallopian tubes,
or these are the ovaries.
I mean, obviously, I don't know what the diagram of the male pelvis looked like
because they separated females from males for those classes.
My grade 9 high school teacher made the girls in my class
swear that we would never have unprotected sex unless
we were in a committed relationship, had enough money to raise a child.
It was kind of like the horrors of sex. Very old videos with sort of,
horror-movie, jump-scare close-ups of diseased genitalia,
as sort of 'This is what will happen to you if you have sex.'
I remember in middle school there was a theatre group that came in and
they had a little jingle to Mamma Mia, but it was like 'Gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual' –
that was the only exposure to the idea of there being queerness.
No particular mention of homosexuality that I recall, or
nothing in detail for sure.
There was nothing about consent or the dynamics of a healthy relationship,
or any sort of consent-based education at all. That was
not at all a part of the education I got.
When we were having all of these classes, the assumption was that of course you were straight. Of course you were
going to one day marry an opposite-sex partner and start a family.
So if you were under the impression that maybe some part of your
sexuality or your gender identity didn't fit into that box, there was
really no particular support for you. There was nothing to normalize
those feelings.
You know, I think probably a lot of people from my generation learned things
about sex by watching 'American Pie' movies.
I was also a Tumblr kid, so there's lots of sex ed on Tumblr, and that's
how I learned about it.
Pick a TV show you like. Pick two characters that you think would make a good
couple, and Google it.
You can get Harry Potter erotic fan-fiction. You can get Twilight. You can get
the Marvel cinematic universe.
And then pornography.
We keep on getting told over and over again 'Don't watch porn to learn about sex,' but
some kids aren't being given any other option. Because it's easier to get
on a computer with incognito mode than it is to get decent sexual education.
There are useful things you can learn about sex from pornography. If you've
never given a blowjob before, and you see
that in a film, and you're like, 'Okay, that's what it looks like. That's how it's done.'
That's handy. I don't think it should be the entirety of telling you about what sex is,
though. It's not teaching you to respect women. It's not teaching you how to
approach a sexual encounter in a consensual way at all.
It's not a teaching tool – it's entertainment. You're not going to learn
how to shoot a gun by watching 'John Wick' movies, so.
I think sex education has a real ability to step in and,
sort of, tell people that it's okay to be who they are,
and to give them the information that they need
to be able to lead healthy and happy lives.
People worry – 'Oh, if you give them all the information right off the bat then yeah they're just going to go
and do it.' And it's like, okay, well maybe some of them might. But
at least they'll be safe, because they know to wear condoms. They know about dental dams. And if they're
going to screw at 16, then, I mean, how are you going to stop them?
All you can do is make sure they're safe and they're healthy and it's consensual.
I think by giving education around the different ways that people can
be, it really is affirming to people being able to see themselves
represented. It was only straight sex and how to not get pregnant and how to
not have – how to protect yourself around STIs.
It would have been really great to have that information. Maybe I would have
come out earlier, but no, there wasn't anything else.
Kids need it.