Toni appeared on the show
almost 10 years ago when her 13 year old son at the time
began transitioning to a girl.
Her story became the subject of a controversial debate.
Should parents stop their child from transitioning
or support it?
Here's what happened.
At the age of two my son wanted to dress
in princess outfits.
The age of four he asked me when his penis
was gonna fall off and that he was gonna be a big girl.
I went to the pediatrician I said,
why does he still think he's gonna be a girl?
And that's when she handed me paperwork
about gender identity disorder.
How did you make the decision to support
him transitioning from male to female versus saying,
no this is wrong and he needs therapy.
He didn't give me a choice.
He didn't really say can I do this?
He just said, this is what I have to do to live.
My mom thinks I'm a princess because I have everything.
Like, I want everything.
This is one of my favorite skirts.
How did dad deal with the boy's wanting to be female?
He dealt with it like I did.
The child was adamant this was what he wanted
and we tried to do everything unisex.
This is different from what we would do at our clinic.
We would involve the father more.
We would discourage the effeminate interests,
really build up his boy identity,
make him feel good as a boy
and get mother out of her over enmeshment with the boy.
I wasn't enmeshed with him
so I really think your theory sucks.
Ash is now 23 years old and she says she is
the happiest she's ever been but it's been a long haul.
Take a look.
The other guests on the last show
tried to insinuate that my over involvement with Ash
was the problem.
We see this over involved relationship with the mother.
But those men were absolutely out of line.
Up to the age of 11 this child walked out of my house
in boy's clothing.
I tried baseball, I tried T ball, I tried soccer.
She was picking daises.
There's this feeling I get when my hair is all done up
and my makeup's all done.
It feels like just bliss and if I don't get that
I know I'm doing something wrong.
Ash started hormone blockers at the age of 14.
We learned with Ash was 16
that she had an autoimmune illness.
Ash lost her fine motor skills,
she couldn't write, she couldn't walk in a straight line.
Due to the autoimmune illnesses they had to stop
the hormone therapy.
I had to live as a man
after I stopped taking the hormones.
That was a year and a half of my own personal hell.
She started cutting herself, it was devastating.
I have gone through so many battles
when it comes to my body, my gender.
I decided I am gonna make it happen on my own
with our without the hormones given.
I started wearing corset trainers,
I started playing with my weight, my hair, makeup.
Found my certain niche and I just stuck with it.
I'm happy, I'm living my best life.
Now I look at myself and I'm very proud of that.
So how are you?
Good, 23 now, not 14 anymore.
That's right, tell me how things have been.
I know you've had the problem with the autoimmune and all.
Hectic, I feel happy and beautiful
and I could not be more proud of who I am today.
I think I have just as much right as anybody else
in this room to do and say and act however I want
and be who I am today.
(applause)
Toni you have two other children.
You have two other boys.
I do, I do.
There was no question in terms of gender identity
with them at all.
There was never any question with Ash either.
It was very evident.
Your story is identical Oh yeah, same.
There was never the kind of animosity or anger
that I see right here, it's really concerning.
I was being respectful, I was letting him talk.
But I am gonna tell you the way you present yourself
your eyes say it all.
The anger that you have spewing out of you,
it's very toxic.
No, it's just animosity towards her.
(applause)