ZURIEL: WE'RE ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL NOW
AS HANNAH HAS A PATIENT THAT NEEDS BLOOD.
WHAT DOES SHE HAVE?
HANNAH: SHE GOT ANEMIA
AND THERE'S NO BLOOD AT THE BLOOD BUNKS,
SO, NO ONE WANTS TO DONATE BECAUSE
THEY'RE SCARED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.
SO I ASKED MY HUSBAND TO GIVE HIS BLOOD.
ZURIEL: SO, IT'S MOTHER'S DAY AND I THOUGHT
IT'S PART OF MAKING MY MAMA PROUD TO DONATE BLOOD.
(VENTILATOR MACHINE BEEPING)
(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE ROARING) (GENTLE MUSIC)
HANNAH: BEING A DOCTOR IS BEING GOD'S HANDS.
TO ACTUALLY BE IN THE FRONT LINES
AND BEING ABLE TO HELP PEOPLE,
IT'S REALLY LIKE A PRIVILEGE AND I'M JUST REALLY THANKFUL
THAT GOD PLACED ME THERE.
ZURIEL: A LOT OF PEOPLE CHEER FRONT LINERS AS HEROES,
I'M VERY PROUD TO BE MARRIED TO ONE.
HAVING A FRONT ROW SEAT TO WALK WITH HER DURING THAT TIME
ALLOWED ME TO ALSO FIND JOY IN, YOU KNOW, ENCOURAGING HER,
BUT ULTIMATELY IT'S THE GRACE OF GOD
THAT HELPED HER PERSEVERE.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(TRAFFIC SOUNDS)
(HANNAH LAUGHS)
HANNAH: WE SENT THAT?
WE SENT THOSE VIDEOS?
WELL, THAT'S EMBARRASSING.
ZURIEL: OH MY GOODNESS, LOOK AT THAT WILL OF A MAN.
(BOTH LAUGH)
OBVIOUSLY I WAS A DIFFERENT SHAPE AT THAT VIDEO.
(HANNAH LAUGHS)
I HAD TO REPENT FROM AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE EXPORT: SPAM.
HANNAH: SPAM?
ZURIEL: YES. HANNAH: YEAH.
(CAMERAMAN AND ZURIEL BURST OUT IN LAUGHTER)
HANNAH: YEAH.
THAT'S REMINDING US
THAT WE SHOULD GO BACK TO EXERCISING (CHUCKLES).
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
ZURIEL: WELCOME TO THE "Z AND HANNAH SHOW"
WHERE WE DELIVER YOU STRAIGHT UP NEWS FOR EVERYBODY'S FLOW.
HANNAH: SO HEALTHCARE WORKERS ACTUALLY HAVE THE OPTION
TO STAY IN THE HOSPITAL,
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WANNA EXPOSE THEIR FAMILIES
TO THAT RISK.
BUT FOR US, WE DECIDED TO STICK TOGETHER.
WE CANNOT BEAR TO BE APART
'CAUSE HE IS MY SOURCE OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT I THINK THAT MOST OF US DECIDED
THAT WE ARE ONE SO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AS A COUPLE.
ZURIEL: I THINK FOR US, IT'S BEEN PAYING OFF ITS DUES,
BEING ABLE TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER AND BE TOGETHER
IS A GREAT PLUS AT THIS TIME WHEN,
YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL EXPERIENCING SOME RESTRICTIONS
MOVING IN AND OUT OF THE HOME.
HANNAH: I WAS VERY THANKFUL TO HAVE ZURIEL WITH ME
'CAUSE IT WAS OUR TIME TO JUST BOND
BUT THAT'S ONE THING THAT YOU WILL LEARN
ABOUT FILIPINOS: WE TAKE STRENGTH FROM OUR COMMUNITY.
SO, IT'S SOMETHING THAT WE VALUE AND TREASURE VERY DEEPLY,
BUT WHEN YOU TAKE THAT OUT AND YOU HAVE TO BE ALONE,
SOMEHOW IT REALLY TAKES A TOLL ON YOU AS THE DAYS GO BY.
HELLO, I AM DR. HANNAH,
I USED TO WORK AT THE WELLNESS CENTER,
FOCUSING ON PREVENTIVE CARE,
BUT WITH THE PANDEMIC I VOLUNTEERED
TO BE ASSIGNED IN THE COVID ICU.
WE WORK FOR TWO WEEKS AND THEN WE ARE OFF
FOR A QUARANTINE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.
I AM NOT USED TO LONG HOURS ANYMORE,
IT HAS BEEN A BATTLE,
IT'S BEEN PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY DRAINING.
I AM TIRED,
I'M SCARED AND SO LONELY HERE,
ESPECIALLY FOR THE PATIENTS WHO DON'T HAVE FAMILY
BY THEIR SIDE.
(BOTH SIGH)
YEAH. THIS WAS DURING THE START OF MY COVID ICU DUTIES.
I'VE NEVER HAD TO BE IN FULL PPE LIKE THAT,
IT WAS REALLY CRAZY.
AND THEN BEING IN THE ICU ALONE FOR 24 HOURS
YOU'RE THE ONLY DOCTOR THERE,
THAT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME, AS WELL.
AND THEN ALL THE PATIENTS, THEY'RE ALONE ALSO
AND THEIR FAMILIES CANNOT NOT VISIT.
THAT WAS VERY, VERY HARD.
WE WERE ALL JUST DOING THE BEST THAT WE COULD
DURING THAT TIME.
(VENTILATOR MACHINE BEEPING)
ZURIEL: YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ONLY THE STORY SHE BROUGHT HOME
BUT IT'S JUST THE TOTAL ENERGY.
SO I SEE HER LEAVE IN THE FIRST COUPLE OF WEEKS STRONG
AND EXCITED TO HELP,
BUT THEN COME BACK EVERY DAY BEING MORE DRAINED
THAN THE PREVIOUS DAY,
SO THAT WAS REALLY HARD.
HANNAH: I'M 12 HOURS INTO MY SHIFT,
SO, SO FAR TODAY WE HAVE ONE WHO EXPIRED, COVID POSITIVE,
SHE WAS 56.
AND THEN ONE WHO IS UNDERGOING A DIALYSIS NOW.
SHE'S COVID POSITIVE, SHE'S 23 YEARS OLD.
SOME GET BETTER,
SOME DON'T.
SO, IT'S JUST HARD,
THIS IS REALLY... WE DON'T REALLY HAVE CONTROL
OF WHO GETS BETTER AND WHO DOESN'T.
(BACKGROUND CHATTER)
I'M BACK FROM ANOTHER TWO WEEKS IN THE COVID ICU.
I'M JUST FEELING A BIT ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW.
SO WORRIED ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH THE COUNTRY, NEW CASES.
I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF CONSTANTLY THAT
GOD IS MY ANCHOR AND I SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID,
AND I JUST TRUST IN HIM,
SO IT'S WHAT GETS ME THROUGH THE DAY.
I WAS REALLY WORRIED.
IT WASN'T GETTING ANY BETTER,
IT WAS JUST GETTING WORSE AND WORSE.
IT WAS REALLY TRAUMATIC FOR ME, THE BEING IN THE ICU,
IT'S LIKE A VERY DIFFICULT PLACE TO BE.
YOU HEAR THE ALARMS OF THE PATIENTS' MONITORS GOING OUT
AND THE CODES THAT WE HAVE TO RUN,
IT'S JUST WE'RE ALL REALLY ON THE EDGE.
SO THAT WAS TOUGH.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
FIRST TIME I HAD TO DO THE ICU I WAS REALLY ANXIOUS,
BUT NOW I THINK I'M FEELING DEPRESSED MORE THAN ANYTHING.
SO I'M NOT ABLE TO TALK.
I REALLY FEEL THAT I'M SO SAD ABOUT EVERYTHING,
WHEN IS THIS ALL GONNA END?
I MISS TRAVELING,
I MISS JUST BEING ABLE TO GO OUT,
JUST, YOU KNOW, ALL THE CAREFREE THINGS
THAT WE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT BEFORE.
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN WORLDWIDE?
(SIGHS)
I'M JUST REALLY SAD.
DURING THAT TIME, IT WAS A TIME THAT WAS HARD FOR ME
TO, YOU KNOW, VLOG,
TAKE ANY VIDEOS
BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY,
I WAS STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION AS WELL, SO
YEAH, THAT WAS A HARD TIME.
ZURIEL: I THINK IT WAS DURING THAT SECOND WAVE
WHEN I WAS REALLY...
WHERE I REALLY, REALLY GOT CONCERNED
BECAUSE I WAS THINKING INSIDE OF MYSELF THAT,
YOU KNOW, MY WIFE IS FIGHTING WHAT SHE THINKS
IS A LOSING BATTLE.
SO I CAN FEEL HOW SHE WAS AFFECTED BY THIS MORE AND MORE.
HANNAH: I JUST HAD ENOUGH STRENGTH TO GO AND GO TO WORK,
AND THEN JUST DO MY THING,
AND THEN GO HOME AND REST THE WHOLE...
THE NEXT DAY I WOULD JUST BE IN BED THE WHOLE DAY.
I COULDN'T REALLY EAT.
I LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT, AS WELL.
I WAS REALLY SAD AND DEPRESSED.
JUST A VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TIME.
ZURIEL: YEAH. THERE'S A SENSE OF SHARED HOPELESSNESS,
HELPLESSNESS,
SHARED POWERLESSNESS.
WHEN THIS PANDEMIC HIT THAT WAS ALSO ABOUT THE TIME
WHEN MY GRANDFATHER DIED.
I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE VIDEOS
OF MY GRANDFATHER'S REMAINS BEING BROUGHT TO REST,
I WISH...
I WISH THAT THAT COULD BE POSTPONED. (CRYING)
WE CAN'T EVEN GO, CAN'T EVEN GO
SEE HIM ONE LAST TIME
BECAUSE WE MIGHT BE CARRIERS OF THIS VIRUS.
I'D DO ANYTHING TO BE
WITH MY FAMILY IN LAGUNA RIGHT NOW
TO BURY MY GRANDFATHER WITH THEM.
BUT I CAN'T.
AS A PASTOR, I DO ALL THESE SERVICES FOR PEOPLE WHO DIE
BUT I CAN'T EVEN DO IT FOR MY OWN GRANDFATHER.
THAT WAS VERY TOUGH, AND
I THINK THAT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST POWERLESS,
HELPLESS FEELING I'VE HAD LAST YEAR, SO.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
MY EXPERIENCE OF LOSING MY GRANDFATHER,
MY WIFE'S TESTIMONY ON WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IN THE ICU,
IT ALL ADDS UP TO,
YOU KNOW, BEING IN THE RIGHT POSTURE OF VULNERABILITY
THAT, IN A WAY, IS NECESSARY
TO ACTUALLY TRULY UNLOCK THE MEANING OF GRACE.
OFTENTIMES WE THINK WHEN WE SAY GRACE OF GOD,
WE ASSOCIATE IT WITH, YOU KNOW, GOOD THINGS LIKE HEALTH,
HEALING, PROSPERITY AND WEALTH,
BUT IF YOU LOOK AT THE SCRIPTURE,
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS MADE VERY CLEAR
IS THAT GRACE BECOMES VERY MUCH MORE EVIDENT
THROUGH SUFFERING.
UNDERSTANDING THAT GOD'S PLAN GOES THROUGH THE CROSS
ALLOWS US TO APPRECIATE SUFFERING
AND PUT IT IN A GOOD LIGHT.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
(MEAT SIZZLING)
HANNAH: I'M DOCUMENTING THE FIRST TIME MY HUSBAND
IS COOKING FOR ME.
IT IS A DAY TO REMEMBER.
(HANNAH LAUGHS)
(MEAT SIZZLING)
HEY BABY, WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT HAVING TO COOK YOUR DINNER?
(FORK AND PLATE CLICKING)
ZURIEL: YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT, YOU KNOW,
YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT.
EATING OUT'S SO EXPENSIVE
AND, YOU KNOW, MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY.
HANNAH: HOW IS IT?
ZURIEL: OOH, IT'S CRISPY.
MMMM.
MAYBE I CAN RECOOK THIS.
I HAVE TO RECOOK IT. (LAUGHS HEARTILY)
(BOTH LAUGH OUT LOUD) (MEAT SIZZLING)
I HAVE TO GET THE FEEL OF THE BEEF
TO A LEVEL WHERE I CAN FRY IT
SO THAT IT DOESN'T BURN UP.
SO, IT'S A LITTLE BIT CRISPY BEFORE I FRY IT.
HANNAH: HERE'S THE STEAK FRY, TAKE TWO.
DID YOU TASTE IT ALREADY?
ZURIEL: I THINK IT'S GOOD.
IT REMINDS ME OF,
YOU KNOW, ALWAYS WAKING UP ON SATURDAY MORNING
FOR BREAKFAST AND YOUR MAMA COOKS FOR YOU SOME BEEF.
THAT'S HOW IT TASTES LIKE.
(BOTH LAUGH)
HANNAH: IT'S FUNNY.
YOU'RE COMMENTING ON YOUR OWN COOKING.
(BOTH LAUGH)
ZURIEL: NOW, I CAN SAY WITH A STRAIGHT FACE
WHEN PEOPLE ASK US WHO AMONG YOU COOKS?
THAT'S THIS GUY.
(BOTH LAUGH)
HANNAH: YEAH. BUT THE REASON I WAS TAKING THE VIDEO,
BECAUSE IT'S REALLY THE FIRST TIME THIS GUY TRIED TO COOK
BECAUSE HE NEVER DID BEFORE.
FOR HIM TO COOK FOR ME, THAT'S REALLY VERY SPECIAL,
SO, THAT'S SOMETHING WORTH DOCUMENTING.
ZURIEL: AND SO BEING STUCK AT HOME,
I HAD TO FIND CREATIVE WAYS
TO GIVE HER THE SUPPORT SHE NEEDED, TO FOCUS ON HER,
MAKE LIFE, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE BIT MORE COMFORTABLE FOR HER.
I'M THE FRONT LINER TO THE FRONT LINER (CHUCKLES),
SO I'M HER LINE OF DEFENSE.
THAT'S ACTUALLY WHY I LEARNED HOW...
I TRIED TO LEARN HOW TO COOK,
YOU KNOW, BE HER PERSONAL NETFLIX COORDINATOR
IN WHAT TO WATCH,
AND YOU KNOW, THINGS THAT I NEVER REALLY HAD TO DO BEFORE.
AND THE MOTIVATION I HAD WAS TO GIVE HER ENOUGH SUPPORT,
AND WATCH HER BACK SO THAT SHE COULD GO BACK
TO THE FRONT LINES AND DO HER THING, YOU KNOW.
HANNAH: YEAH. SO, THAT'S WHY IT WAS REALLY THE TWO OF US,
LIKE I'M THE ONE IN THE FRONT LINES,
BUT IF HE WASN'T THERE (GETS EMOTIONAL)
I COULDN'T HAVE MADE IT.
MY GOODNESS. (LAUGHS IN BETWEEN TEARS)
SORRY.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
DURING THAT TIME, ZURIEL WAS THE ONE WHO MAKES ME SEE THINGS
IN A GREATER PERSPECTIVE AND MORE THROUGH GOD'S EYES,
AND SEE THAT NOTHING IS PERMANENT.
GOD WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO HELP YOU THROUGH
WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
AND HE JUST ENCOURAGED ME,
AND TOLD ME THAT GOD WILL NOT LEAD YOU TO A PLACE
THAT'S NOT HIS PLAN FOR YOU,
BUT IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE EASY.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
TO BE THERE ON THE FRONT LINES
BEING AN INSTRUMENT OF GOD'S PEACE,
IT'S SOMETHING THAT WILL ALWAYS BE VERY SPECIAL TO ME,
THAT HE HAS USED ME IN THAT WAY AND THAT CAPACITY.
AND IT'S JUST REALLY A PRIVILEGE FOR ME.
AND I'M VERY BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO GIVE IN THAT WAY.
ZURIEL: I THINK LAST YEAR OR THE YEAR 2020
WILL BE HIGHLY REMEMBERED
AS POSSIBLY THE DARKEST YEAR OF THIS CENTURY,
AND MAYBE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW, PEOPLE WILL LOOK BACK,
TALK ABOUT THIS GENERATION
AS THE SURVIVORS OF THE DARKEST YEAR.
WE KNOW WHAT THIS STORY,
WHAT OUR STORY WILL BE ABLE TO SHOW IS
THAT IT'S NOT ONLY A YEAR OF SURVIVORS
BUT IT'S ALSO A YEAR
WHERE GOD USED PEOPLE TO BE INSTRUMENTS OF
HEALING,
OF LOVE
AND LIGHT.
SO, WHATEVER WE MAY FACE IN THE FUTURE,
WHATEVER WOULD BE THE DARKEST YEAR OF THE NEXT CENTURY
OR THE NEXT GENERATION,
HOPEFULLY STORIES LIKE THIS CAN HELP REMIND THEM
THAT, YOU KNOW, NOT TO GIVE UP,
NOT TO JUST BE ENGROSSED IN THE DARK,
BUT ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE LIGHT.
YEAH.
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)