[music]
You know, a stroke is well named.
For one minute you could be perfectly healthy, hale and hearty.
And then, out of the blue, you have a stroke.
Initially some people tend to be disorientated.
Others are aware of a lack of power in their limbs.
Some people slur their speech
and find it difficult to follow conversations or find the right words to express themselves.
Well, these communication difficulties
together with certain physical disabilities
can easily lead to anger and frustration.
[music]
His writing was all mixed up as well as his speech.
And he'd point and you'd say but I don't understand
and he'd look at it as if to say
well I know perfectly what that says!
And of course he found that difficult
and we couldn't understand what he was saying or trying to tell us.
Uh huh
But we got there in the end, didn't we?
Uh huh
With a lot of hard work.
Well feeling frustrated I think is in general.
That's because I can't do as much as I used to
particularly without my left arm.
Physically I still can't
do what I could do previously, because I mean
I mean, I played rugby up until about six years ago
rugby at 50
and I used to go to – and I was going to the gym three times a week
and I was swimming on a Sunday – not every Sunday
but twice a month, 50 to 60 lengths, so you know
to have a stroke was – the doctor wondered why it was me.
So did I. Most people do.
When I had the first stroke
the worst thing for me was
when I found I couldn't work any more. [cries]
Yeah, it devastates your life. There's no question about that.
If you've had a stroke
well you'll know that the sense of shock is a very deep one.
In fact, some people have described it as though
a part of them has died.
And it's perfectly natural to be angry
and to ask why me, and be frustrated at this seeming inability
to do things that once came as second nature.
And a stroke doesn't just affect one person – nuh uh
it can affect the lives of the whole family.
[music]
It was quite frightening at first
because she'd always been active and independent
and at that time you don't realise how much
she's going to improve, and you try and envisage
what life'll be like if she's going to be completely dependent
and where she would live
just how she could cope generally with life.
You're going to have to make changes.
that's one thing that's definite, you're going to have to do, like.
And a lot of the changes you make
you just make the decision as you're going along.
If you're taking on a close relative who's had a stroke
you have to be very, very certain in your own mind
that that is what you want to do
that you want to bring them into your own home.
But the whole, but your whole life does change.
That's without a doubt like you know
and you've got to look at things
I think you've got to plan more in advance of what you're doing
You don't do things in a hurry.
You have to be very certain
and have a reasonably good relationship to be able to
cope with the attendant pressures, let's put it that way
[music]
Caring for someone after a stroke can take a lot of getting used to
Relationships can change. And always at the back of everyone's mind
is the question how will I cope?
Well one way is to look at a stroke maybe not as an ending
but maybe as a challenging new beginning.