>> Stephen: THAT'S "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
HELLO, LOUIS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
JUST A MINUTE, MINUTES FROM NOW, MERE MINUTES FROM NOW, A YOUNG
MAN IS GOING TO BE SITTING OVER THERE.
YOU KNOW HIM. YOU LOVE HIM.
HIS NAME IS BERNIE SANDERS. HE'S GOING TO BRING THE HEAT.
HE IS ALWAYS BRINGING THE HEAT. I DID SOMETHING THIS WEEKEND
THAT MADE ME FULLY AMERICAN FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.
I DIDN'T REALIZE I HADN'T ACHIEVED THE AFFECT ON
PRESIDENTS' DAY WEEKEND, I BOUGHT A MATTRESS.
>> Louis: HEY! THAT'S VERY AMERICAN.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT JOKING. WE NEEDED TO BUY A MATTRESS SO
WE WENT TO ONE OF THE STORES. LET'S TO WORK ON NOT GOING TO
NAME THE STORY. LET'S SAY THEIR MATTRESSES ARE
FIRM AND YOU SLEEPY ON THEM. WE SAID IS ANYTHING ON SALE?
THEY SAID EVERYTHING IS ON SALE. I SAID WHY IS EVERY THING ON
SALE? HE GOES, IT'S PRESIDENTS' DAY
WEEKEND. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I WENT, OH, WOW. I DON'T KEEP IT MARKED ON MY
CALENDAR AS I SHOULD. MY CALENDAR ONLY SAYS TWO
THINGS: SUIT DAY, SLEEP DAY. THOSE ARE THE THINGS I HAVE.
ANYWAY, I'LL REPORT ON HOW THE MATTRESS GOES.
>> Louis: LET ME KNOW. >> Stephen: GETTING ONE OF
THOSE THINGS, WHAT'S IT CALLED? ADJUSTABLE BED.
THE BED HAS A REMOTE CONTROL. I AM TIRED OF ENGAGING MY ABS.
DOING CRUNCHES. I'M DOING CRUNCHES.
ONE MORE REP. >> Louis: YOU WORK HARD.
>> Stephen: I KNOW. FOLKS, AS EVERYBODY KNOWS, I AM
ALWAYS JACKED INTO WHAT'S POPPING IN YOUTH CULTURE.
AND APPARENTLY RIGHT NOW THE YOUNGLINGS ARE OBSESSED WITH
A NEW CRAZE THAT I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IN MY TOTALLY DOPE
TREND SEGMENT "STEPHEN COLBERT PRESENTS:
THAT'S YEET. DABBING ON FLEEK, FAM!"
THE KIDS KNOW. THE KIDS KNOW.
WELL, IT'S TWO THOUSAND TWENTY-THREE, AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS. IT'S TWO THOUSAND.
BECAUSE, AMONG GEN Z AND MILLENNIALS,
EVIDENTLY "Y2K AESTHETICS ARE SO HOT RIGHT NOW."
WHICH NOW BRINGS ME TO MY EARLY 2000s
"THAT'S YEET, DABBING ON FLEEK, FAM"
SUBSEGMENT "THAT'S CRUNK, CHILLAXIN'
FO SHAZZLE, DAWG. WAZZZAAAPPPPP."
ACCORDING TO TRENDSTERS, KIDS LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT
THE EARLY 2000s. FOR EXAMPLE,
GEN-Z'S LATEST "VINTAGE" OBSESSION IS THE FLIP PHONE.
YES, FLIP PHONE. PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO'S THOUGHT
"I LOVE TEXTING, BUT I WISH I HAD TO HIT THE 2 BUTTON
THREE TIMES TO TYPE THE LETTER C."
APPARENTLY, YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING DISCONNECTING
FROM THEIR SMART PHONES, SAYING THAT A FLIP STILL
BRINGS ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT A PHONE:
CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE AND TAKING PHOTOS AND VIDEOS.
YES, YOU KNOW. THE REASON TELEPHONES
WERE INVENTED: TAKING PHOTOS AND VIDEOS.
WHO CAN FORGET THE FIRST CALL BY ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL?
"MR. WATSON, SAY CHEESE! NOW TRY A SILLY ONE.
NO DUCKFACE!" >> Stephen: WOW.
THAT'S A WAX CYLINDER? THAT IS FROM AN OLD WAX
CALENDAR? IT'S NOT JUST HOW THE YOUTH
COMMUNICATE. IT'S ALSO HOW THEY FEEL.
BECAUSE APPARENTLY, A KEY PART OF THE Y2K AESTHETIC IS DRESSING
RAD WHILE FEELING SAD. NAMELY, WITH ITEMS LIKE,
TINTED SUN GOGGLES AND BABY TEES, LOW-RISE JEANS
AND PARACHUTE PANTS, THE CURRENT LOOK SCREAM
"PARTY," BUT THE VIBE STILL WHISPERS, "WORRY."
SO, BASICALLY, LOOK LIKE BEN AFFLECK AT THE GRAMMYS.
[APPLAUSE] LOOKS GOOD.
LOOKS GOOD. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF
THE Y2K AESTHETIC IS FASHION. AND THE YOUNGS ARE SO GOOPED
AND GAGGED OVER EARLY 2000s CLOTHES, THEY'VE COINED THE LOOK
ROM-COM CORE. COINCIDENTALLY, ALSO THE NAME OF
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY'S SHORT-LIVED WORKOUT
VIDEO SERIES. YOU KNOW HIS MOTTO:
"ABS TIGHT, ABS TIGHT, ABS TIGHT."
ROM-COM CORE TAKES INSPIRATION FROM THE HIT MOVIES OF THE DAY.
FOR EXAMPLE, LOOKS LIKE THE SLIP DRESSES IN
"13 GOING ON 30" OR KATE HUDSON IN TUBE TOPS
AND "SAVE THE LAST DANCE" CARGO PANTS.
THAT'S RIGHT, CARGO PANTS ARE COOL NOW.
AND THAT SOUND YOU HEAR IS DADS EVERYWHERE YELLING, "I TOLD YOU!
LOOK WHO'S EATING HUMBLE PIE, WHICH I PULLED OUT OF MY GIANT
POCKETS!" EVEN THOUGH I JUST TOLD YOU
ALL ABOUT IT, I STILL DON'T GET IT.
SO HERE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND THE ROM-COM-CORE OBSESSION IS
MY WRITER AND CERTIFIED YOUNG PERSON, ELIANA KWARTLER.
ELIANA, THANK YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
>> HI, STEVE. >> Stephen: HI, ELIANA.
HELP ME OUT HERE. WHY ARE YOUNG PEOPLE SO OBSESSED
WITH 2000s ROMCOMS? >> GREAT QUESTION, STEVE.
BUT FIRST, I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.
ARE WE HAVING A MEET CUTE? >> Stephen: NO.
WE'VE MET MANY TIMES. YOU'VE WORKED FOR ME FOR LIKE
6 YEARS. >> NO!
I WORK AT AN AD AGENCY AND/OR A FASHION MAGAZINE WHERE MY JOB IS
TALKING TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE.
>> Stephen: ELIANA, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> I'M ROM-COM-CORE-ING, STEVE. I'M OBSESSED!
AND HOT. BUT NO ONE KNOWS THAT YET.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT IN A ROM COM, RIGHT?
>> ONE SEC. >> [CHEERING]
>> OKAY, NOW I'M HOT. >> Stephen: LET'S MOVE ON.
ELIANA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? >> POTTERY WITH A HOT GHOST.
SHUT UP! >> Stephen: ELIANA,
THAT MOVIE IS FROM 1990! FOCUS!
YOU'RE NOT IN A ROM COM. I'M THE ONLY PERSON HERE,
AND I'M TWICE YOUR AGE. >> NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU'RE FOUR TIMES MY AGE. I MADE A WISH AT MY
13TH BIRTHDAY PARTY YESTERDAY, AND IT TRANSPORTED ME
INTO THIS ADULT BODY. >> Stephen: DON'T DO THAT.
THAT'S UPSETTING. >> ACTUALLY, THE AUDIENCE
IS SURPRISINGLY COOL WITH IT. THEY'RE ROOTING FOR US!
>> Stephen: OKAY. NO, THEY'RE NOT.
ELIANA, I BROUGHT YOU OUT HERE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS
TREND, AND -- >> SHHHHHH.
♪ ♪
♪ SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT ♪ ♪ ALL IS CALM ♪
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH, MY GOD.
IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS. IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE.
MY WRITER, ELIANA KWARTLER, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS.