What was that?
Oh that’s right. We’re doing that thing where they flash up
a few seconds of all the best bits
in an attempt to combat today’s obscenely short attention spans.
Well we better get started, bettern’t we?
And before you ask, yes it’s called the 2022 Trailer Trash-Up
even though all the movies are all from 2021
because the Trash-Up is named for the year it was released.
Otherwise you’d all be asking “why is it called the 2021 Trailer Trash-Up
when it was released in 2022?”
There’s no winning here.
Whichever way we turn, someone’s going to be confused and angry.
So we’ll stick with the formula.
Because better the Deville you know.
What did I say about flashing a few seconds of the best bits?
I used to live my life a quarter mile at a time.
But things change.
Now I live 0.4 kilometres at a time
'cause metric makes more sense than imperial in the modern world.
Who is he?
Hey.
Jacob is...
Dom’s brother.
So Dom’s allowed to turn his back on family
but woe betide anyone else who does.
Your whole life you’ve pushed yourself
to be faster than Dom,
smarter than Dom,
taller than Dom.
But could you kill him?
Nope.
Because unfortunately for all of us,
Dom has pushed himself to be more un-killable than anyone who’s ever lived.
Damn.
He is a human cockroach.
This is an extermination.
They’re picking my family off one by one.
Sorry!
So, at least in that sense,
it’s a very impractical extermination.
Duncan,
can I trust you with something?
Yes, always. You know that.
I’ve been having dreams...
about a girl... on Arakas.
Yeah, I have that same dream every night.
Blue eyes, right? Like, really blue.
You stay away from her.
I can’t promise that Paul, in fact I’m gonna dream about her right now.
No don’t! I want to dream about her!
Too late - already dreaming about her.
No! She’s my dream girl!
Come on Paul! Start dreaming!
She’s laughing at my jokes and touching my arm when she does.
Damn it!
I’m in the dream where I’m giving a speech in my underpants!
Why would I betray you?
We all have our secrets.
We just didn’t get to yours yet.
The fact that you’re a full seventeen years younger than I am!
Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?
No visible wrinkles, firm supple breasts, a butt that won’t quit,
the ability to read size 8 font…
Do you take me for an idiot?
Six bloody years of ecstasy, but now I can finally get back to having
passionless, mediocre sex with someone my own age!
Hi.
Have we met?
That line’s not gonna work on me.
If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I’d put U and I together.
Lady, I’m sold.
OK dude. You could get lucky tonight.
Not taking any chances this time.
Screw it.
Holy crap!
What kind of freaky-deaky was this chick into?
I didn’t hear any complaints last night.
Now hold still - I have to extract some tubes from you.
Oh god.
What in the Matrix 4?
Welcome, King James.
to I.P. Land.
Hey where’s my ring?
I’m a cartoon?
Or at least,
more cartoonish than I was previously?
Meh...
What’s up, Doc?
FOOD!
Sorry buddy.
But if I’m gonna survive in this strange new world,
I’m gonna need need sustenance.
Eddie...
We should be out there, snacking on bad guys!
Every time you eat a human being,
I’m the one who has to digest
and excrete them.
Your point being?
Do you know how hard it is to pass a human skull?
Or a pelvis??
I mean-- How- How does a pelvis
pass through another pelvis???
Gross!
I don’t want to hear about the mechanics of your cannibalism!
You’re making me sick and I just ate some Chinese!
Oh god.
Who was it?
Uh…
I think he said his name was "Sean G" or something.
Hope you’ve had plenty of fibre
cos he was wearing ten metal bracelets.
My father trained me
to be the Ten Rings’
greatest weapon.
Thank you...
Your dad must be a crap trainer.
First learned about this seven years ago
on a mission in Chile
to capture a wanted fridgitive.
Have it your way.
I call that one a brain freeze!
The target had superhuman abilities.
That’s so rare these days.
We’re Eternals.
European Baywatch is weird!
We came here seven thousand years ago
to protect humans from the Deviants.
What’s so deviant about exposing oneself to strangers?
They’re only private parts if you treat ‘em so.
You don’t even recognise your own deviancy!
Hey Ikaris?
I gots me a present for you under my trench-coat.
My eyes are burning!!
With desire.
I found this in my living room.
Whoa. Killer replica.
A replica of what?
A ghost trap.
It’s like a mouse trap, except...
the mice are already dead.
So it’s pointless.
It’s not pointless - you could fit ten ghost mice in here!
I don’t have ghost m–-
Wait, wait, wait- What are you saying?
You kids don’t appreciate my generation continuously
repackaging, remaking, rebooting and reselling our pop culture to you?
'Cause that’s what this is.
Now how much are you gonna give me for it?
It’s not yours.
It is mine!
You can’t take my childhood from me!
I’m a true fan!
Women can’t be Ghostbusters!
I told my men
they wouldn’t be able to kill you if they tried.
Glad I was right.
Well, Dad...
all your training just...
came flooding back to me.
Nope.
Really?
Punching the wooden post?
Getting beaten by sticks?
You used all that?
Yep. All that stuff.
Is that a gun
in your pocket?
No.
I’m just...
happy to see you.
Eddie Brock.
Missed you.
And your loquaciousness.
People love serial killers.
- Who told you that? - My lawyer.
Guess the jury disagreed, seeing’s how I’m on death row and all.
Well, you’ve given me a lot to chew on.
My sentiments exactly.
Son of a bitch bit me!
When it comes to their last meal,
we gotta give them whatever they ask for.
You had enough, Cletus?
I barely got a taste.
Sorry sir.
Hate it when they’re cannibals.
The only way you’re getting your son back
is if you and I play a little basketball.
You want to play me in basketball?
Yeah, why?
Are you particularly good at it or something?
I just picked a sport at random - it can be chess if you prefer.
No, no! We can do basketball.
The ball goes in the basket, right?
You gotta win this game and get our son back.
Win the game. Got it.
And get our son back.
Get our son back.
Right. Forget the game.
No you have to win the game.
Dammit woman!
Every time you give me a list of things to do you expect every single item to get ticked off!
After all these years, I think it’s time to start managing your expectations!
The world’s moved on, Commander Bond.
At the risk of sounding sexist, racist and ageist,
you’re a double-O?
Whaaaaaat?
You get in my way,
I will put a bullet in your knee.
The one that works.
At my age, having one knee that still works is a bloody miracle.
Just look at these tennis elbows.
But I can’t promise I’ll stay out of your w--
Oh hell!
There goes my good knee!
We’ve taken out planes, trains, tanks...
Now we got cars flying in the air?
Man, we messing with magnets now?
We acting like landing on a car is better than landing on dirt?
That’s it!
Even I can’t suspend my disbelief anymore! I’m out!
I hope you don’t mind, Roman, but while you were asleep
I taped you into this suit and launched us into space.
We're driving in space now??!
Yeah actually, that feels like a natural progression.
Do you often dream things that happen,
just as you dream them?
Yes.
Come back wearing pants.
The test is simple.
Great - I suck at tests.
Remove your hand from the box,
and you die.
What’s in the box?
Pain.
Doesn’t feel like there’s a huge incentive to put my hand into the box in the first place.
If you don’t put your hand in the box, we bring in a bigger box that contains more pain.
I better put my hand into the first box then,
because I really don’t like the sound of that second box.
A wise choice.
What are you doing here in Summerville anyway?
Honestly, we’re completely broke.
And our grandfather left us this creepy old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.
Middle of nowhere?
Yeah, some place called Summerville.
What a hole.
You went with the station wagon?
I can’t believe our loser grandad only left us an entire house,
multiple vehicles and the keys to a one-of-a-kind business empire.
What a bum.
It has a gunner seat?
Yeah - installed by RETCON®.
Flo, I finally figured out what’s causin’ all them crop circles.
Ghosts!
That’s enough of your crackpot theories, Hal.
Let me top you up there, darlin’.
What if I told you that the name "Neo"
is an anagram of "One"?
Whoa.
It is interesting reading your emotions.
Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t go with my first choice for a username.
Nah.
It’s probably already taken.
The superhuman bore the same birthmark you do Cole.
I think it’s an invitation
to fight for something known...
as Mortal Kombat.
With a “K”, for “korrectly spelt”.
These are your champions? Pfff!
I’m Sonya.
That’s a stereotypical Australian asshole.
Haw-haw you bloody beauty crikey struth-o mate!
I’m Liu Kang for a good time.
Name’s Jax.
A shield fell on my head.
Lord Raiden.
The fate of Earth is in our hands.
It was a good planet and I’ll be sad to see it go.
Why didn’t you guys help fight Thanos?
Or any war, all the other terrible things throughout history?
Why is everybody so obsessed with what we DIDN'T do?
Why can’t you all just be happy that we’re here now,
ready to do stuff?
What are you gonna do?
Well it’s not so much what I’M going to do...
personally. We're- We’re a team of ten, so…
you know, things need to be discussed internally, roles assigned, it's...
You’re not gonna do anything.
OK, you know what?
THIS is why we’ve stayed on the sidelines.
This right here.
Maybe in another seven thousand years you people will have finally learned
to show some Eternal gratitude!
How dare you try and steal my ten rings.
I just want these two - how many do you need?
Ten!
What can you do with ten rings that you can’t do with eight?
What if I have nine stacks of paper on my desk
and it’s windy?
Shut the window.
My desk is outside!
Paper’s wasteful - you should move to digital.
Yeah I know.
I just like the feel of it in my hand is all.
I get that.
I love you, son.
James!!
OK.
James?
If you want the job done right,
you need the proper tool.
Thanks, idiot!
Oh!
Maybe there is time to die.
Come on, Paul!
If you want to go sand-fishing we need something to put on the hook.
Grab it and let’s go.
I don’t think it’s gonna fit in the bucket, Mom.
Not with that attitude. Be a man!
Whoa.
That sand-bird’s up early.
I... am…
Sub-Zero.
Eat freeze.
Uh, excuse me.
I specifically stated in my donor form that I do not want my blood frozen!
It’s for direct transfusions only!
Ice you wish.
Good thing I’m compatible!
Come on squad.
We’re gettin’ tuned up out there.
There’s only one thing left that can save us and I think y’all know what it is.
Poisoning their Gatorade?
No!
Freestyle rap!
Abady abady abady
I put words together
And make ‘em rhyme
One, two, three, four, five, six…
Nine.
In the court of public opinion,
we just got the death sentence.
All I ever wanted in this world...
is carnage.
But every birthday and Christmas,
nothin’ but socks and toiletries.
Oh no!
That is a red one!
I honestly can’t believe you just made an assumption about a symbiote
based on the color of its skin.
I don’t think we can still be friends after this.
ARRRRR MY GOD!
The red ones are the worst!
They probably can’t even DRIVE!
Tell me you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking!
There’s no bridge!
OK, tell me what you were thinking.
I thought…
the bridge cable would get caught in the front wheel, and
it would swing us around and
we’d land safely on the adjacent cliff.
That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Did you say "dumbest", or
“Dom-est”?
Same damn thing.
Huh.
Guess he can be killed.
Family.
Ghostbusters.
We’re ready to believe you.
We’re closed.
Then why are you answering the phone?
This is a revenue-generating number.
I get ninety cents just for picking up.
Have a better one.
We’re closed.
After all these years.
To be going back to where it all started.
Back to the Matrix.
I mean who do you think you are - Harrison Ford, returning to all your best roles?
You’ve already done Bill & Ted 3 - what’s next?
Point Break 2049?
Speed 2 - The Velocity Awakens?
They already did a Speed 2…
NO THEY DIDN’T!
No they didn’t.
I bet you’ve built the perfect safe house.
What’s this even made of, vibranium?
What’s this wall made out of - adamantium?
What are you two made of - teflon?
What’s this planet made of - something that won’t be damaged
by a sextillion-tonne nuclear explosion going off in its core?
I should wait...
till someone answers my questions instead of just putting my theories to the test.
We would be eternally grateful if you subscribed to ArtSpear Entertainment.
Feels like we’ve been watching these two make these videos
for seven thousand years.
It’s actually only been 007 years.
If you enjoy their work and wish to support them,
you may want to stir yourself into becoming a Channel Member.
Or you could shake things up and join their Patreon.
How would you like to be an Eternal, Mr Bond?
Officially.
What - and have no time to die?
Pass.
Well that was a bit of a dog’s breakfast, wasn’t it?
Didn’t include my trailer, I couldn’t help but notice.
Although ArtSpear did explain to me why.
Something about not wanting to glorify a character
who happily murders puppies in three-digit quantities.
Tuh! Disney had no such qualms.