The video today, the question is, the big question how do you tell a Thai person their
wrong, without them losing face. Que the intro.
Hi everybody, Hi everybody welcome to the channel today, today we are going to talk
about, about what, losing face in Thailand. Oh dear mmm. There is our mountain are back
garden is ten fields that way. We found a Sala and I got a coffee from seven eleven
from the ladyboy.
So losing face. What is losing face? Well it's basically it means opinion not right.
We call opinion not right. I'll give some examples and then we can see if we can work
out what is losing face?
When I am driving in the car down the road and I stop for directions I'm lost and I ask
a Thai man or Woman where is this place? they say to me down the road turn right. But in
fact they don't know, their lying to me. Yer. So their saving face by lying to me rather
than telling the truth sorry I don't know. Yes. They don't want to lose face. Correct,
A good example.
What does a Thai person call losing face. S̄eīy h̄n̂ā or เสียหน้า
What is a good example of Thai person losing face? do you think. This example. Maybe you
go into a shop and there is going to be a problem and you ask for something and they
haven't got it are they going to tell some story to save face?
yes.
Or you take the motorbike to be fixed and you say can you fix this there going to say
yes, but they can't. they can not. Why do they do that, what is it in Asia? why don't
want people... its so hard to try and explain why it happens. It's basically a person lying
rather than them, embarrassed.
Does it matter with losing face if your an authority figure may police, maybe a young
kid, older man, older person, whether your man or a woman does everybody treat losing
face the same.
Not really I believe, In my opinion some people don't want to lose face, some want to save
face, some don't want to judge them, so want to protect people or some don't to be.
It's hard to translate into English the losing face thing. A policeman does he care if he
loses face.
Yes big thing.
So authorities really care?
Yep really care, it's a big thing.
You don't want to embarrass them.
Yer you don't want to embarrass. People embarrass people can get big thing. Same you look face
and you try to see.
If you make them lose face they can get angry about it.
Yes. Yes and make big thing.
Problems over it.
Yes.
Lets say somebody owes you money and there late, there late to pay you back, what are
they going to say they don't want to lose face?
They will say, family problems or I need to go to hospital or the ATM not work something
like that because they want to lose face.
They will make an excuse
yes make excuse try to keep the credit, yes
Is it a big deal in Thailand? Is it a big problem can people fall out with each other?
Yes, big problem, this thing.
Can they end up fighting.
Yes can be fighting
Serious problems from losing face.
We have problem before about land an argument about land.
And it did cause serious problems. but if a foreigner makes a Thai person lose face
by accident does the Thai person understand is an accident?
If you clear up quickly, you will be Okay, it the same as saying you misunderstood.
So if you quick to realise you have made a mistake and embarrassed that Thai person you
rectify quickly
Khaaw Thoht - Say sorry That would be quick.
Sarcasm where people joke with you sometimes can be bad and make people lose face.
Well we have three leaves in Thailand one person you need to know them first before
you are sarcastic or joke to them. Second person is ok joke with you joke back ok. One
who don't care at all. So before you joking or you do something sometimes you funny you
not mean some people can not take its a big thing. So you need to look at face first for
action. If he is happy to talk or joke or laugh with you. If not please do not joke
to them be carful.
Why is it so important what other people think of you the Thai person, in your head why is
it so important you are not going to lose face? It's so important you do not want to
lose face
It's the respect. Basically, you respect them first and when people respect you and not
balancing them first they will not do to you, stay away .
So its back to the ladder the status and more so here in the villages, everywhere in Thailand
losing face is a big thing a Thai person does not want to get embarrassed and that is really
important you don't embarrass a Thai person.
Yes don't embarrass
Respect in village is more so because of the status ladder.
Its the same you have labourer work with you I know sometimes they do the work wrong basically
you call them private before everybody shows up or they will lose face.
Thats a good point, if you , somebody does something wrong how do you talk to them without
them losing face.
An example they need to big some big draws and you know they have done it wrong maybe
call them you want come for coffee first go private. Go drink, you think if we do this
another way.
You have to pussyfoot around them
Yer it's friendly
and not upset them
and him say this is not right
this is so different from western as you know from England it so different because we just
like your rubbish you have don't that wrong start again
yes
you can't do that in Asia
No
You have to be softly softly approach
yes
Basically people more respect you. If you respect them first.
Imagine a foreigner has come here and has a Thai partner
Yes
and they made there partner lose face in public they have maybe raised there voice, which
you should never do, maybe they have shouted at there partner in front of there friends
and lost face, maybe they have done it by mistake what can they do fix that, can they
fix that?
well the person lose face so far maybe need to tell person in private slow down I think
you a little bit angry lets talk to her. Let here think sorry you do wrong.
And maybe because the westerner the Thai person would understand Okay they don't understand
about embarrassment and losing face maybe there is a bit. Do you give the foreigner
a little bit of leeway. I heard you sometimes you stupid Simon because you should know these
things but then you think arh actually you've don't really know about it.
Yes, so basically. So because we are a couple we know together so we know the leave which
we can joke with each other. so its no problem
so get more and more comfortable with your Thai people around you whether it partners
or office or whatever you can start learning about how far you can go with the jokes.
Yes thats correct.
Does, can you appearance make you lose face?
Yes its big thing.
Is it a big thing?
yer. Big thing. Example my niece not my niece my neighbour they aways on because she get
up late or don't help her mother and she always joke to other people about family lazy, blah,
blah, blah
So she is losing face because she is talking bad about her family
Her parents. Yes
yer but thats family talk bad you know.
yer but its the same thing.
What I actually mean is clothes and how you put makeup on because I have seen some Thai
girls in England especially they have yellow hat, red shirt, blue jeans, white shoes all
multiple colours silly big sunglasses and more make up on there face than most shops
have in stock.
Its fashion Simon
Its a strange fashion, but can the way you look foreigner or Thai can the way you dress
and look make you or your partner lose face?
Basically people watching the eye contact looks a bit weird thats means your different
now.
Say I put all weird clothes on a wig and strange things and walk done the road with you and
your next to me would you lose face because I look silly?
No I'd be laughing
But you wouldn't lose face
No lose face
So appearance doesn't make somebody lose face unless they where maybe walking down the road
naked then you would lose face
No wouldn't lose face, look silly people call you silly or doughnut. Maybe you need hospital.
Asian people, Thai people with more money which is status means there up the ladder
is it more important for them not to lose face.
Big thing
Than people lower down.
Big thing. Because they have the same contract if they have business they can not get business
to go low. To wear the coat, to be polite, to go out make sure they are 99% perfect.
So by losing face with there extra money and cars and things they will go down instead
of up and its always about going up.
It must go up
doesn't everybody lose their temper and say things they don't mean is what I have written
down. So if people are getting angry and when they are angry they talk bad things that not
really mean but then that causes loss of face to people.
Yes, Yes this is big thing. For example you have a drink,
You get drunk
You get drunk or you mean to joke make people upset how many
That probably the easiest way for people to lose face is when you get drunk and misbehave
out and about.
Yes, Yes and you don't know the person well. You just joke to them nothing about.
So losing face is all about not is being embarrassed losing, making somebody feel stupid what they
have done embracing them especial in front of there family, friends business colleagues
you don't, its advisable not to try in any way to make a asian person lose face. its
always better to try and resolve it in a softly softly approach, always take people to one
side. Be careful when your out and about and you are drinking if your in tourist are never
raise your voice towards a Thai person any Thai person even if they just gone past you
on a motorbike and run your foot over don't shout and scream do not raise your voice because
it's people will start losing face. Somehow you have to take a breath count to 10 however
you handle it and resolve the situation softly, its part culture, its part of Buddhism you
do not hear people in the village shouting at each other they voices you hear people
trying to speak the loudest to be the head person listen to me every Thai person raises
there voice but not to shouting so you will notice that losing face is a big part of Thai
culture and try always to not to upset Thai people or make them lose face.
Anyway there you go losing face from a Sala in this road is moo sarhm, we live in moo
harm what do think to that scenery do you like it its beautiful isn't it absolutely
gorgeous. So we will do a few videos here.
Nong baddo
and we live nong pangchu
I hope you enjoy this new video
and we'll see you soon don't forget to share the video on social media it helps us grow
the channel, put thumbs up or thumbs down, no thumbs up more comments leave a comment
below any questions and if you have any thoughts on other videos to do with Thai culture that
you would like answering email us or put in the comments below and we will put it on the
list which is growing another spreadsheet anyway we will see you soon.
Thank you
bye bye for now