#Just take a look into my... eyes#
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
'Looking lovely as usual'
We're looking at The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini,
'Let me clue you in'
The last of the Beach Party movies and, since the film doesn't actually feature a beach,
you're got to think the series had probably run its course.
'Monkey business I say'
As ever the film features a couple of classic stars who needed work, Basil Rathbone,
'I think I'm going to be sick'
Who inspires the best joke in the whole film,
'Who those three guys boss?'
'I don't know, but one of them looked like Sherlock Holmes'
and Boris Karloff,
'I don't like this, I don't like it one tiny little bit'
Who wasn't originally in it but executives saw the first cut and hastily added a completely new plotline featuring Karloff as a corpse,
'I beg your pardon'
trying to get into heaven with the help of his wife,
‘Wait a minute, you're dead, you've been dead 30 years'
which explains the slight age difference.
And she gives the film it's title,
Why is she wearing an invisible bikini?
She was part of circus act and, we can only assume is still performing in heaven.
'Not bad'
Why is everyone else wearing a bikini, you know; since there's no beach?
'Don't you think we're over-doing it?'
Well, the haunted house does have a pool,
and one girl needs to win back her boyfriend so...
'You gotta fight fire with fire honey - wear the bikini, it's just what the doctor ordered'
Good advice, if your boyfriend has hooked up with another girl,
'She's acutely developed alright'
cos she's showing more flesh,
'who cares'
then just one up her. He's definitely worth fighting for and this is bound to make him respect you.
'You are a stubborn one aren't you?'
The initial set-up is the classic everyone gather at old house for the reading of the will,
'Once they eliminate the other heirs the fortune will be all mine'
but wait, someone's randomly invited a bus-load of partying kids.
Isn't it amazing how two apparently disparate genres and can be seamlessly blended into one,
without you ever questioning its plausibility.
'What are all these strange people doing here?'
From here on, this is essentially Hillbillys in a Haunted House right down to the comedy gorilla,
but with rock music instead of Country and western,
this is what Hollywood thought that young people listened to.
'Revolting little pipsqueaks'
The bad guys are pretending this is a haunted house,
using a suit stolen from the Eye Monsters,
but the twist is - it's really haunted,
terrifying,
'We will not be scared'
To be fair, this isn't meant to be horror.
'Put that in your teepee and smoke it'
Sadly, it is meant to be comedy,
'My dear young man, I am not a josher'
what it actually is, is a painful attempt to plug into youth culture,
'She and dem three slobs are going steal a million clams from them folks'
That only succeeds in embarrassing everyone involved,
propagating a few racist stereotypes.
'Me find train ok but what happen house?'
and whatever this is,
Bottom line: it sucks.
'Well you can't have everything.'
Ghosts in the invisible Bikini mashes up Old dark House movie with Team Beach party movie.
What other improbable genre pairings would you like to see thanks for watching and don't forget to subscribe?