may I have the viewer mail please bring in the letters here come the letters ladies [Music]
what happened to the uh what happened to the model well Thanksgiving we couldn't get one
oh I appreciate you pitching in thank you [Applause] [Music]
one of our staff members you know the odd thing about that we gave him the T-shirt he
had the Hat
ladies and gentlemen actual letters from actual viewers that we accumulate here in The Late
Show mail room and it's time right now to start answering these letters here we go dear
Dave letter number begins I've noticed that members of your band oh Paul us a letter about
you in the band I noticed that members of your band collect a variety of interesting
things what is it Dave that you collect uh sincerely Mark Diamond Green Acres Washington
boy that was a TV show remember that show that was very entertaining absolutely yeah
that was great fun uh what is it that you Dave collect let's see what do I collect uh
well speeding tickets I guess foreign
[Applause] as the pilgrims used to say uh letter number two Dear Dave the holidays are
just around the corner and I wondered what is your favorite dish sincerely Christopher
Smith Bakersfield California Ah that's easy Christopher my favorite holiday dish just
also happens to be one of our brand new sponsors watch this
this holiday season try stovetop stuffing instead of potatoes hell try it instead of
a hairpiece
like I'm back on Hee Haw
letter number three Dear Dave are you a superhero question is Paul your boy wonder sidekick
just uh pondering uh Tammy Campbell Sparks Nevada uh no no no that's silly I'm not a
superhero and you know Paul's my friend and he works on the show but he's not really my
sidekick either but it just so happens that Paul is starring in the biggest comedy action
motion picture of the Season very proud of it yeah you should be let's take a look at
Paul in that movie here we go somebody stop me [Applause]
[Music]
work
thank you you shoot that in your free time Paul the work is what's important ladies and
gentlemen letter number four yaza Rudy here we go Dear Dave my 71 year old mother thinks
that people on TV say the word ask too much on the air cordially your ass kicking hillbilly
friend Betty Rodriguez Fort Gay West Virginia well you know uh I I think you know I think
I would have to agree with Betty on this one I think that I have noticed an unusual number
of the uses of the word ass on television anymore and I just want to give you my pledge
now buddy we here at the Late Show don't feel like we need to don't really want to use the
word ass to stoop that low you know to get a cheap laugh and we just what
take a look at this take a look at this table we use the word known fact about our next
guest I once kicked his ass it's your ass it'll knock your ass across the room dick
ass man you've got one of these blue cards stuck to your ass
huge ass big ass hands big ass ham big ass half big ass big ass
[Applause] okay okay I might have been wrong close up the old CBS mailbag here we go
[Applause]