Shut up!
that cat can't reach that ledge
Hey,
Anthony you're getting a call from a
white, red - Oh
Yeah,
his name's Brad, but I know like 23 brad's so it's the only way i can remember his name. -Oh, cuz brad sounds like bread
-No -He just, he really likes bread? -No, He has a gluten allergy -Oh
He's really really white like white bread -No
That's White Brad, of course not to be confused with Brad White who's actually a
Porto Rican and I know two white Brad's, so it gets kind of crazy. -What do you call the other white Brad? black Brad.
He and I met on a black mirror fansite
well Why don't you just call him by his last name? -Well his last name is actually white so that would make no sense at all
Why would I ever do that?
Look, I know this whole thing's kind of confusing for you but this whole system down that works perfectly for me, okay?
so
What's, what'smy name in your system? -It's just you.
Ian that's it?
yup
stop
Small dick Ian? -No, it's not what you think okay? It's just that all the other ian's I know are taller than you
That's not true in any capacity. -Yes
I am at least six inches taller than Ian Cohen. -Okay, but he's a little bit more plump
So technically you're still smaller so. -So, what do you call him? Fat Ian?
No, I would never
Categorize someone by their physical attributes. I call him by his middle name Greg. -then what do you call your friend Greg? -Henry G.
Okay, and how about Henry? -Triple H
He's just a big fan of early 2000s wrestling? -He has three H's in his name: Henry
Hawthorne Heights. Wrestling Dave is the one that actually loves wrestling, but you know now that I think of it
I don't think he actually likes wrestling that much
I just thought he did when I first met him and put his name on my phone. -Fine
Can you just change my name then? Does that work for your little system?
get kind of confusing for me, but
I'm open to suggestions. What do you have in mind? -Okay? What about Jeff D?
You already taking my adrian the second half of his name is... -Ian H -Irene Alexis Norman Henderson
It's a memorable acronym ian Hecox who I've known since the sixth grade -Too similar your dad
I have him under ian's dad father of my best friend ian, Hecox whom I've known since the sixth grade
How often you talk to my dad? -Never really, but if he does call, I want to be ready for it
You know I don't wanna be confused as exactly who's calling. -Fine. Just do Ian Ian
There's already a big Ian so i have to make another big Ian by naming them twice. -Okay
Just call Big Ian Big Ian and call second big Ian B and then call me Ian Ian
I don't know can we just slow down for a second please?
Hey, if I start changing all the ian's around this whole system that I've developed
It's just gonna collapse like a house of cards. I don't want to start changing everything now. It's really delicate
Fine, whatever. I mean. I just don't
Understand why you're calling me small dick ian. You've never even seen my dick
No dick is short for dickens the first time i met you, you were reading Charles Dickens in class.
I was? yeah, I've always just kind of known you as dickens Ian
And in overtime it got shorter dick ian and then when I met the taller fatter ian, small dick Ian
you see
Wow
Can't believe you remember what I was reading when first met. -Of course man. You're my best friend. How could I ever forget?
That's, that's really thoughtful man. I'm sorry, i thought your little naming system was offensive i had no idea
no problem man
happens to the best of us
we're cool? Cool
Ian's Mom mother of my best friend Ian Hecox who has a small dick?!
I saw it one time when you were standing next to me at a urinal, it was really small
so best friends hey
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