G'day, A.J. Mahari here in this video monkey branching people with borderline personality
disorder monkey branching monkey branching occurs when a person in a relationship is considering
other options while they're still in a reddish and it happens with a lot of people bpd not all monkey
branching is emotional cheating at first until the leap between branches so to speak is made
and it's flirting with others well in a relationship with the intention focus on the
new person the attention to monkey branch and not remain in a relationship there's lots of reasons
for monkey branching and but among them obviously people with borderline personality are not
ever feeling safe or secure in a relationship because they have at best especially untreated
unless until significantly treated they have at best a disorganized attachment style an inability
to take in your love and then devaluations happen and it's not always one devaluation split and then
the whole relationship's over and you're ghosted that happens but that's not a pattern that is
ubiquitous and so the thing about monkey branching is people with bpd are very insecure to begin
with uh the vulnerable narcissists narcissists would this monkey branching would also apply to
when a person really has one foot out the door people with borderline personality not all of them
many like probably a very significant number monkey branching because they're not attached
and they're not invested in the relationship the way that a lot of people with codependency are in
this most unhealthy fit but there are also people with codependency to have significant fear of
abandonment insecure attachment styles and people with codependency don't have a secure attachment
style so essentially the monkey branching person is the dumper or the ghoster and and so this
monkey branching is emotionally cheating at first at least on uh the person's current partner and
then they will eventually or in the case of people with bpd often quickly at some point maybe it's
after years of a relationship that's been rocky and off and on and all confusing and everything
but they will eventually leave for someone else because there's a betrayal there and both men and
women with bpd specifically can monkey branch and do monkey branch monkey branching into a
new relationship is very despicable because the brancher has no respect for their partner let
alone for themselves doesn't that sound like a lot of people who are untreated with bpd
they don't have respect for you they don't have respect for themselves they don't know who they
are they've always got one foot out the door one way or another even in idealization you're
starting and it feels great but they gotta put lagging behind them when when somebody does monkey
branch it shows that they have questionable moral standards like they're confused about that so low
moral standards low self-esteem low self-worth and obviously a lot of insecurity and i would add so
not attaching fear of intimacy fear of abandonment what fear is a destroyer of so many things and a
destroyer of relationships for sure and largely for those with borderline personality because
their fears are so multiple and multi-layered as they try to be in relationships with others
and this isn't everybody with bpd but it is a significant growing number of people and bpd
is morphing and people with bpd today are vastly different than people with bp 15 20 years ago were
with regard to all this monkey branching and various other things that's good that are
going on like ghosting etc so when somebody is a monkey brancher and they're in a relationship
they're focusing strongly on what they don't like what they you know they're very negative often and
like i said fear of abandonment fear of intimacy people with bpd inability for intimacy can't take
in your love and people with bpd don't have a self from which to trust themselves so they have
absolutely really no trust so the more attention that's given to fear or insecurities without doing
anything to solve and heal and resolve them the more real they become and and this is so true
unfortunately for so many people with untreated borderline personality especially male or female
borderlines don't attach as a result of all the perpetuating worrying and fears and insecurities
people with bps so overwhelmed that they start to look for the quick fixes and remedies and
they externalize out people with bp all of what's happening to them that is dissociatively happening
inside re-experiencing repetition compulsion emotional dysregulation and triggers from the past
they think it's in here now and all they've ever been able to do because they haven't emotionally
matured through the early stages of childhood development they don't know how to manage
anything they're feeling when they get emotionally dysregulated and so they externalize that evidence
to you as it has to be your fault and then they're going to look for a quick remedy and fix
and they believe that it's you that's causing them all these feelings and triggers which isn't true
the insecure monkey brancher will remain somewhat quote content for short periods of time monkey
branching of and reasons for the top seven reasons why monkey branching happens low self-esteem while
add low self-worth makes it eight right low moral standards over dependence on others for
emotional support looking for external sources of happiness projection of fears and insecurities
expecting the new partner to solve internal problems often stems from childhood the top
four signs how can you know or what to look for if you suspect that that person with bpd
might be monkey branching so monkey branching is a behavior pattern and it signals an act that
people need to keep an eye out for and it means that a partner is looking for another man or woman
someone else to start a relationship with it's important to note that all these signals need to
be present to indicate that your partner may be partaking in monkey branching just one or
two of them might mean it's a possibility that your other half is being deceitful however in
relationships to people with bpd not that they're all the same one or more of these
might make you start to wonder the number one sign is somebody that you love is the borderline
monkey branching is using the cell phone a lot and a lot of people pp use their cell phones a lot
but like really using their cell phone more than even a lot it's a key sign that your partner is
flirting with another man or woman if they're on the phone a tremendous amount or even more than
usual because a lot of people bpd have addictions to facebook and other aspects of social media
so when you see this excess of bone use that's even more excessive than the
than a lot of people bpd going on there likely that that that has to do with monkey branching
because messages are increasing and more so than you know people would message with friends etc
the difficulty with the sign of using a cell phone a lot is you can't read the messages without
invading the person's privacy the second sign that somebody with bpd is monkey branching
is that they're very vague about their whereabouts so if your partner's being really
vague about where they are or what they're up to or what they were doing or where they have been
it could be that they are already starting to see and meet with somebody they've been
monkey branching with say digitally to begin with if you think that they're being big
or more begged than usual for people with bpd it's a way of sidestepping conversations with people
with bp which people with bpd do anyways a lot but they're they're really not wanting to talk about
what they're up to or anything that's going on with them because they're likely monkey branching
and the third sign of monkey branching is they start going out a lot and maybe they didn't before
and or they go out a lot more so that's another good sign that you know now the emotional aspect
at least of of cheating emotionally with monkey branching might be starting to go to the next step
people with bpd will often be lying in general but they they will lie about what they're doing
or where they're going or why they're going wherever they're going it will be a highly
suspicious change even in most people with bpd the person with bp that you know in your life
and the fourth sign that somebody is likely monkey branching the fourth sign is that they become more
secretive so that can be a tough one to sort of suss out if you're with a quiet borderline
and they often withdraw and you don't know what's going on with them and sometimes with a person
with bpd that's ghosted you whether they've monkey branched or not would be hard to know because you
don't know what's going on but so if the person becomes more secretive when they aren't naturally
even people bp aren't all the same they might not be that secretive so you see an increase in that
or you see them being secretive when they weren't before this could really indicate monkey branching
and already being were on to personally emotionally cheating and secondly maybe onto
meeting that person definitely communicating a lot with them via computer or tablet or cell phone
so the other thing too is they could be telling you more about what they're doing as in lying
so so that you won't get suspicious sometimes for people at bp becoming more secretive means
they're going to lie and tell you well they have this new friend if they didn't have any friends
or there's this person here there whatever and they'll tell you that that's who they're
they're going to see or meet up with her that's who they're talking to more on a cell phone or
what have you and they'll just allude to being out with a new friend if they don't
have any friends or a friend or maybe a family member and they're they're busy monkey branching
monkey branching of course with people at bp the question do x's come back after monkey branching
often they will hoover back and often people will take them back and maybe a lot of people don't
realize and some people might that when they when they ghost you and if they're monkey branching
and they're busy with the quote grasses greener person over there and when it doesn't work out
because these relationships don't work out with people bpd untreated especially then
yeah definitely they're going to try to hoover you back and some people with codependency take people
back and then it's that on and off again ghosted reverse hoover reversed out hoover or they hoover
and you want them back regardless of the fact that they've now monkey branched not only emotionally
cheating but also physically cheating literally totally cheating and ghosted you and kind of quote
ended a relationship with no responsibility no accountability and no closure so the bottom line
about this monkey branching is both men and women are capable of being being guilty of testing out
the waters with another person before breaking up with their partner and there's so many monkey
branches which means emotionally cheating on you first and go sing with ending a relationship that
they really might not have an intention of having it be over but cheating with someone
else which is maybe not technically cheating at that point but it still kind of is because
often then they're going to hoover back or you're going to be reverse hoovering or self-hoobering
or both and then you're going to come back together and effectively these relationships
without closure sometimes it's hard to tell if it ended or where it didn't end or didn't end and so
it can still be more than emotional cheating and be the absolute totality of cheating lots
of reasons i've talked about in videos before but i would think that it's very unfortunately common
with untreated borderlines with not attaching disorganized attachment not taking in kindness or
love fear of intimacy and and all of those other things is going on people bpd why they don't see
you and why they're often not very present in the relationship so in idealization honeymoon phase
you fall in love with that person they don't really exist so all this monkey branching the
four signs and and the seven or eight reasons i gave you for why it happens but happens often
with people with bpd just because of all that they really truly are struggling with and again it's
inexcusable there's no excuse for it whatsoever and many people know maybe a different language
but they know there's been monkey branching and cheating going on when you've been ghosted
and yet people still want to take these people back and that's what people with codependency
have to think about so anybody but particularly a lot of people with bpd they get involved with
another person and and they start you know the idealization the whole thing starts over
while this still involves with a relationship with someone else maybe you've been through this
and they deliberately allow the new person to influence their weak mental state their
emotional overwhelm all the externalization of the things that that are their responsibility
they need to go to treatment to heal so they're they're easily tempted to this type of thing
because they don't take in your love they don't quote bond and they don't attach to
you once they've secured a position with this new person then they'll be able to do the leap
and that you know the monkey branch into the arms of the new person for people with bpd
they're not really happy even in idealization and once a sense of maybe what they thought
was happiness disappears or they just have more experience of triggered emotional dysregulation
etc that isn't anybody's fault it's it's internally happening to them based on their past
they'll become they become really anxious more anxious than even average and they're
tremendously insecure to begin with so they get even more insecure so in today's society and world
one of the things about monkey branching is it's easier now than ever before
because there's infinite amounts of ways to connect with people from all over the world and so
the rise of the internet mobile technologies has enabled people to uninterruptedly stay in touch
with whomever they want to whenever they want to and be doing this emotional cheating at first
at the very least if not more and what is monkey branching they believe that the monkey branching
onto another person will solve all their problems it's an avoidance of pain it's radical escapism
and it is highly irresponsible and in reality all they do is bring the previous unresolved problems
and all of their problems of course that are internal are they think are going to magically
disappear with the grasses greener syndrome but they're going to take them of course forward with
them because they are so wrong about that so these are people monkey branching who have never learned
to love themselves people who monkey branch are still emotionally dependent on others they're so
dependent on people to not be alone people that monkey branch are unbelievably afraid to be alone
in the world because they don't know how to be with self and people bpd don't have a cell
regardless borderline personality disorder is no excuse for monkey branching it is
definitely happening with more and more people with ppd probably more and more women some men
with bpd so hope that was helpful or if it's already happened to you you gotta think about
are you taking them back will you have you did you what do you want to
do about it now because these cycles will repeat they won't just monkey branch once
at all and every time they ghost and the on and the off not everybody with bpd is monkey branching
but many many many of them are and maybe you don't know what's really the case with that person
in your life with bpd or axe or on or off and if you haven't subscribed to the channel yet please
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