SCP-082 Fernand the Cannibal Object Class: Euclid
Item #: SCP-082
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Enlarged living quarters located at Armed Bio-Containment
Area-14 have been appropriated for the suppression and appeasement of SCP-082.
While standard weapons have little effect in policing SCP-082, cooperation is easily
attained through a charade; subject is currently under the impression that it has been made
the King of France and that its containment area is actually a grand palace designed for
its protection.
All interacting personnel are to be made aware of this charade and are ordered
to follow the ruse.
Housekeeping personnel are to be Class D personnel only.
Guards tasked with the containment of SCP-082 are to be given Level-2 clearance, but are
instructed to refrain from interacting directly with SCP-082.
Description: SCP-082 is genetically human; however, through some process (either chemical,
hormonal, cancerous, or supernatural), SCP-082 has grown to giant proportions.
Approximately 2.4 meters tall (around 8 feet) and weighing over 310 kilograms (about 700
pounds), SCP-082's physical characteristics are grossly disproportional.
It has a slightly pointed balding head, a large rounded chin and jaw, a bulbous nose,
and dark sunken eyes.
Subject is both overweight and possesses a great amount of muscle mass.
Forearms are muscular and dangerous, with a circumference of about 71 centimeters (about
28 inches).
The breadth of the subject's fist is nearly 30 cm along the knuckles (almost 12 inches).
Though feet are large, they are small in proportion to subject's body (men's size 14 US).
Subject's skin is tanned dark and overall physical appearance is compounded by numerous
scars (the results of years of attempts at suppression and containment).
Most X-rays have been difficult to interpret because of the high density of its muscle
tissue, but scans have revealed countless bullets and even several knife and sword blades
lodged in SCP-082's flesh.
SCP-082 refers to itself as Fernand and speaks fluent French and heavily accented English.
When it speaks, it does so through enormous, clenched teeth.
SCP-082 only parts teeth to eat food and to sing.
Subject will sing songs of its own pleasing, ranging from forgotten Victorian Era bar songs
to modern classical, typically while cooking and eating.
SCP-082 does not comb the hair on the sides of its head, but does cut it, and shaves with
a large butcher knife originally provided for food preparation.
It should be noted that even facial hair is exaggerated, a single strand being as thick
as a millimeter (similar in thickness and appearance to graphite of a mechanical pencil).
Occasionally, SCP-082 will clench its teeth so hard that the gums bleed, but it is not
known why.
This is considered normal.
The demeanor of SCP-082 is very amicable and carefree.
SCP-082 has accrued a wide wardrobe over its time of incarceration, and it enjoys dressing
up in many different fashions, including formal wear, military uniform, as a clown, and in
women's clothing.
New pieces should be made available upon request.
Subject often attempts to joke and is usually polite to personnel, often inviting them to
dinner.
However, visiting personnel should be aware that at any moment, SCP-082 is capable of
attacking and voraciously eating others.
Subject will often apologize for its lack of manners for interrupting someone's conversation
by devouring their head while making a mess of his quarters.
SCP-082's jaws are strong enough to crack bone, and it seems to enjoy skulls.
Attacks are seemingly at random with no motivation—whether or not subject has recently eaten has no effect
on this cannibalistic hunger.
SCP-082 is incapable of differentiating fact from fiction when he reads it or watches television/films.
On several occasions, SCP-082 has expressed a great desire to meet his favorite person,
Hannibal Lecter, and subject will believe that all television programming is some form
of reality television.
Though subject has shown heightened intelligence in the form of memory and puzzle-solving,
the concepts of parody, satire, and fiction are beyond its understanding.
SCP-082 apparently understands the concept of lying, has shown to know when others are
blatantly lying, and generally tells obvious falsehoods when asked about its past.
According to SCP-082, he is:
A vampire A homunculus
Big Bird Andre the Giant
Napoleon Obelix (sidekick of Asterix)
Dr. Bright The Hulk
Alexander The Great Captain Hook
Sherlock Holmes Dr. Frankenstein
Frankenstein's Monster When questioned about these lies he gives
the excuse, "But I only lie when it's through my teeth!"