- And just like on their show, sometimes on our show,
we have stories so long and epic
that they need their own segments.
Ed has one of those stories today.
So here's another installment of Epic Storytime.
(upbeat melody)
♪ Epic Storytime ♪
So how this works is, I ask one question
and Ed tells Randall and me his story
with the help of the book of illustrations he has.
So here's my one question to start.
Hey Ed, speaking of National Soup Month,
(chuckles)
'cause that's something you'd say,
what's, (chuckles)
what's one of your most memorable soup experiences?
- Great question.
And it's a doozy.
- [kelly Clarkson] Okay.
- I once had a soup experience with Francis Ford Coppola.
Are you ready? - What? Yes.
- [Ed Helms] Okay. - Jealous.
- [Ed Helms] All right.
- [kelly Clarkson] Okay.
- And here's the beautiful book
that I've been working on all weekend.
So this was back in my early twenties,
in my early twenties I used to have very long hair
and I had big mutton chops and,
- [kelly Clarkson] Attractive.
- Yeah, and I wore a peacoat.
Like I was very much like an indie film dork.
Now, I was living in New York city at the time.
And there was an article in the New York Post
that there were gonna be open auditions
for Francis Ford Coppola's adaptation
of Jack Kerouac's "On the Road."
So my buddy Mark Webb,
who's actually a big time director out here now.
He and I were like, "Okay, we're gonna go to this audition."
And so it turns out it's at this big church
in Midtown Manhattan and it's like, it's freezing cold.
We go there, and one of the things
that the article said was, when you go to the audition,
bring a headshot and a cassette tape
of yourself reading a Jack Kerouac poem or something.
- [kelly Clarkson] Okay.
- So we did that. I didn't have any headshots.
So I had my aunt take some pictures of me.
(all laugh)
- [Man] Oh no.
- And they turned out like snapshots that your aunt took.
(all laugh)
That's basically what my headshots looked like.
(chuckles)
But yes. Anyway, so off we go to the audition in Midtown,
it's about 15 degrees out.
It's so cold and we get there and there's a huge line
that's wrapped all the way around the block.
Lots of hours of waiting ahead.
So we get in line and we just hunker down.
And at first, like no one's really talking to each other
'cause it's just cold and you're just out there,
but hours go by and you get to know everyone in line
around you, and you're kind of like going through this
traumatic experience together.
(all chuckle) So everybody's, bonding
and you're turning into like very close friends.
We're getting close to the entrance and we're so cold.
Like we are just not prepared for this weather.
We didn't know we'd have to wait outside.
It's been hours, a PA comes out with a tray
with hot chicken noodle soup,
and just starts handing it out to everyone in line.
- [Randall Park] That's nice.
- That's nice.
- That is the kind of person Francis Ford Coppola is.
Like weird,
- [kelly Clarkson] I'm like, that's really nice.
- Yes, and that right away, I was like,
he's a great director.
(all chuckle)
Yeah, I mean, he's made some good movies,
but also he gave us chicken noodle soup.
- Your work is fine, but you cared that we didn't die
while trying to audition for this.
- Yeah, we got hot chicken noodle soup.
So we're like, savoring our Francis Ford Coppola soup,
- He probably hated himself. - Which presumably he,
(all chuckle) - Yeah, yeah.
And it really got everybody's spirits up
and we're almost there.
And we finally get into,
they sort of funnel you into this church basement.
And what we see is a row of tables
and there are like casting directors
sitting behind these tables.
And literally all you do is walk up
and hand them your headshot and your cassette tape.
And we're like,
"That's fucking it?"
- Wait, what? - Like, "That's all you do?"
(background laughter)
Yeah, yeah.
- [Kelly Clarkson] What?
Okay. Well, so,
- Where you upset?
- Well we're kinda like, I mean,
here's the, the other detail is that behind the tables,
is Francis Ford Coppola, pacing back and forth.
And as I go up to hand my headshot
and cassette to a casting director,
Francis Ford Coppola comes out from behind the tables,
shakes my hand and says, "Thanks for coming."
I was like, "You're welcome."
- What?
- And then we leave.
The next day we read in the paper
that there was a secret code that Francis Ford Coppola had
with the casting directors.
If he goes out and shakes your hand,
then they put your headshot and cassette tape
in a separate pile for further consideration.
- [kelly Clarkson] What?
- Yeah.
- How great did you feel? Oh, my God.
- So you didn't book the part per se
but you booked the audition, you won him over.
- Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
- Okay, okay. Sorry, sorry.
- 'Cause the story ain't over.
- Okay.
- All right? Basically,
I still haven't heard,
(Kelly and Randall laugh)
I'm still holding by the phone.
- [kelly Clarkson] Not sure.
- And I'm just still holding out.
I think, to my knowledge, he hasn't made the movie yet,
- [Ed Helms] Yeah. - [Kelly Clarkson] Okay.
- So I might still get it.
I am waiting for that call
- [kelly Clarkson] Oh, my God.
- When Francis will call and say,
"Ed, I finally made it through all the tapes,
yours was amazing."
- He's been listening to the tapes.
- Let's go get some soup.
- Boom, (all clap)
Francis Ford Coppola shook my hand.
A big thank you to Marcela Acevedo
in our art department for those drawings.
He's incredible, we love them.
And thank you so much for coming up here, guys.
I loved having Cafe Alfresco with you.
- So fun, thank you. - [kelly Clarkson] Yes.