You could shove a canister of nitrous oxide right up my ass, and I still wouldn’t care
about Need For Speed.
Apologies to those who think neon lights make their car look cool, but I think it makes
you look like a douche.
So obviously, I’m not exactly the target audience for this kind of game.
I’m not into racing games, but since it was sent to us by a loyal Undertoad, I figured
I’d give it a shot.
This is Need For Speed: Unde—holy crap, Brooke Burke is hotter than Venus during the
summer months...and full of naked chicks.
By the way, who thought this was a good idea?
Yeah, great idea to have Brooke Burke give the obligatory “don’t drive like a moron”
warning.
There’s not a guy on this planet who heard anything she just said.
The only information they gathered from this is, “Boobs, boobies, sexy time...boobs.”
Speaking of pairs, this is the second Underground title in the Need For Speed series.
That doesn’t mean it was some kind of obscure game you could only order from some Scandinavian
website.
That means it’s the sequel to the 2003 original...and it may or may not take place in the Earth’s
lithosphere.
Actually, it’s set in a place called Baycity, a massive metropolis where Vin Diesel films
play nightly at most theaters and no one pays to see them because they waste all their money
on neon lights.
You’re a newcomer to Baycity or as Burke’s Rachel Teller calls you, “a guest.”
Oh, is that so, Rachel Teller?
Well, Teller I’m bunking with you, m’lady.
So of course, you have to “earn props and street cred by makin’ mad bank,” which
is ****** speak for “develop a positive reputation by winning money in various illicit
street activities.”
Yeah.
Yeah, we do...now that I’ve explained it with real words.
By the way, these cut scenes are all laggy and stuff.
I think it’s because the disc is scratched.
Huge thanks to our good pal Joe from Florida for sending this...but take better care of
your games, Joe!
Do it for Brooke!
At least the gameplay works fine, and that’s most important.
Underground 2 was a pretty dramatic improvement on the first Underground game, offering a
truly massive world for players to...drive around in.
You could spend around 40 hours playing the career mode, but what you’re doing is pretty
simple.
You’re driving around Baycity, breaking laws and listening to bad music.
Missions and bonuses are scattered all over the sprawling cityscape, so there’s a genuinely
massive amount of things to do.
There are different kinds of races, there’s garages for customizing your whip, son...but
again, it’s all dependent on how much driving around enthralls you.
I don’t play a lot of these games, so there’s not a whole lot I can say about Need For Speed:
Underground 2 from a driving sense.
I crashed a bunch, and I couldn’t find the button for the red shell.
But the sheer amount of content here is genuinely impressive, especially for a seven-year-old
game.
Even I had fun driving around Baycity, so for street-racing wannabes, Underground 2
is highly recommended...yo.