- Hello and welcome back
to Hannah does a weird dating experiment
with her partner and wants to share it
with the world to figure out if it actually works.
So hello, I'm Hannah, I'm a sex educator.
I make videos about sex and relationships
here on this YouTube channel
and I have a sex and relationships podcast.
About four years ago, I met my partner, my now husband
and we did this very silly experiment thing.
I don't even know what we would call it
when we first started dating.
And I am convinced that by doing this,
it allowed us to get to know each other faster, better.
And also just to kind of like iron out all of the creases
and realise that we were serious about this.
This is not to say that you need to do this method.
If you are serious about someone
this can be applied to like casual situations as well.
'Cause basically what it is about
is figuring out what you want
what the other person wants and do those things align?
The other thing that it was really grateful
was breaking the ice in terms of having those deeper
more meaningful, existential, relationshipy conversations
and just having fun and making it easy breezy lemon squeezy
because those conversations,
we often find really difficult to have.
Like I said, I believe that this method can work
for any kind of relationship, whether you're monogamous
non-monogamous looking for a committed relationship
casual sex, just dating, seeing where things go.
I believe that this can work.
I'm gonna share it with you.
And then you're gonna try it
and let me know (laughing) if it does work.
So the method is treating, dating like a job interview
and you might be saying, Hannah, that sounds
like it's taking all of the fun and sexiness out of it.
I beg to differ.
So what I mean by treating dating like a job interview
is asking each other stereotypical job interview questions
and answering them as if you were in a job interview.
However, what you're really talking about
is your relationship, is the dynamic,
is what you want out of a romantic or sexual relationship
but it's all shrouded in euphemism
and fun and intrigue and flirtatiousness.
So why, why might you want to do this?
Having conversations with the people that we're dating
or the people that were sleeping with about dating
about sex and about relationships?
It's something that we
as human beings seem to find really difficult.
We might feel awkward.
We don't know how to bring it up.
We are nervous about what the other person is thinking
or feeling we're scared of rejection
or like saying the wrong thing.
But whilst I obviously do think it is important
to have those conversations in real terms
actually talking about the thing that you're talking about.
It also can be made much easier
by talking in abstract terms.
And it's really fun, it's a really great way
to get to know each other better
in terms of what you're looking for, but also
what you're able to offer romantically and sexually.
But it's all done in a really low stakes way
that allows you to enjoy the process
rather than worrying about the end result.
It allows for lots of ridiculous flirting and euphemisms
and it makes it easier
and more fun to communicate about the hard stuff.
Okay how, how do you do this?
Let me tell you
about the method that is completely customizable
and you can do whatever way you want.
So the first thing that you want to do is figure out
what you're looking for in a partner.
And that means writing a job description.
Oh yeah, told you it's gonna be sexy. (hums)
What's the position that you're hiring for?
Are you looking for a casual part-time employee
a member of permanent staff, or are you looking
for a business partner?
Mm-hmm, something to think about. (laughing)
You could literally get a free job description template
from the internet, download it and fill it out for yourself.
Nobody else needs to see this.
This is just more of an exercise
for you to get down on paper and like really think about
what it is that you're looking for.
What's the commitment?
What qualities do they have?
What past experience do they have?
So that's the first step that you do by yourself.
The second thing you need to make sure
is that everybody is on board.
Everybody is a willing participant in this experiment.
If you're going to pitch this idea
to someone who you're in a relationship with,
you're sleeping with
or somebody who you may just be on a first date with,
you can suggest it as like a fun,
silly experiment thing to do,
kind of like the 36 questions to fall in love.
Like that became super famous.
And so people on dates could be like,
oh LOL, we should do the 36 questions thing.
And it feels low stakes.
It's not like you're gonna feel super rejected
if that person's like not into it.
So suggested like a very fun, silly experiment thing.
And then just go for it, you can take your pick of all
of the job interview questions that are out there.
If you need some help, there are tonnes of lists online
of common job interview questions
or you can just make up your own.
And when you're answering the questions
answer them in job interview language.
I find that the more you ham it up
the more ridiculous it is, the more fun and silly it is.
And it just keeps things low stakes, low pressure
and easy breezy lemon squeezy.
And just enjoy yourself,
it's not meant to be a hard conversation.
Those should happen at some point.
And those will happen if a relationship progresses
but this is just more of a like getting
to know each other exercise.
And the point is to keep it low pressure and fun.
But it doesn't mean you won't be challenged
with some of the questions
and some of the answers that you have to come up with
but it will be a fun challenge
if you're still confused and you are not convinced
here are some example questions and answers
that I came up with.
And I will reiterate, this is something that me
and my partner did at the beginning of our relationship.
It was honestly so fun.
We had no idea what we were doing.
We just made it up.
I've no idea if other people have ever done this
but it was super fun.
And I think it got us to a place
where we were like, huh, okay.
We do kind of want the same things,
but also if it has come out
that we didn't want the same things
then we would have like happily gone our separate ways.
And that would have been fine.
Tried and tested the method it worked,
got a husband, not that this is a method
to catch yourself a husband.
That's not what this is for.
Like I said, it can work
for whatever kind of relationship dynamic
you are looking for.
It just so happened that we were
both looking for serious relationships.
Okay, here are my example, questions and answers.
(upbeat music)
How did you hear about this position?
Well, I saw an ad for you on Tinder and I thought I'd apply.
Why do you want to work at this company?
You live close by and I'm looking for a short commute.
Why do you want this job?
I feel like it would really allow me to use my skills
and the flexible nature of the role is appealing.
Why should we hire you?
Have I not shown you my incredible dance moves yet?
What are your greatest strengths?
I'm really good with my hands.
What do you consider to be your weaknesses?
I'm working on my communication skills.
I'm currently really bad at text communication
but I'm great on video calls.
What's your greatest professional achievement?
Well, one time I (beep)
and (beep) out (beep) and then (beep).
And did you know (beep)
and then if the (beep)
you know (beep) you know mm-hmm (beep)
and like (beep) it was amazing.=
Why leave your last job?
My last manager secretly hired someone else
to do my job for me without telling me.
Can you explain why you changed career paths?
For my whole life, my parents school
and society convinced me that I could only have one job
at a time and only be committed to one job at a time.
And so I always took on those kinds of roles
but now I realised that I could have multiple jobs
and be committed to all of them at the same time.
And so I'm exploring that.
What are you looking for in a new position?
I'm looking for a position that allows me to travel.
I want to be challenged intellectually
and stimulated physically.
Are you interviewing at any other companies?
I've already had one other interview this week
and I've got two more next week.
Do you have any questions for us?
Is this a part-time or full-time position?
Is there room growth at this company?
Who else is on the team
who I might be working with day to day?
So there you have it.
I hope that you enjoyed this video
and my completely ridiculous dating method concept.
Please do let me know in the comments
if this is something that you have ever done
and how it went or if you will be trying it.
And also what job interview style questions
would you like to ask someone?
Thank you so much for watching
and thanks so much
to members of the Common Room,
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I hope that you're well,
and I'll see you in my next video bye.