How do we actually work with the conflict? And the teaching I found in my life that’s
the most valuable is the language of a hundred percent responsible.
And what that means is that we have the capacity to respond to whatever's going on from our
intelligence and from our heart - that we have a hundred percent capacity for that. And that it
doesn't matter what the other person is doing. Now that does not mean that being 100%
responsible, that we don't set boundaries and do what we need to do, but we can take care of
ourselves. And that's a critical piece. It's not saying when there's conflict it's my fault. It's
just that we can access the mindfulness and the care to work with our inner experience.
I am not dependent on what you do to be able to be okay within myself. Does that make sense?
In order to wake up out of the conflict that we get in we need
to make the U-turn and be with our own hearts. This is a meditation on evolving consciousness
and shifting from the rigidity of fight -light-freeze and instead learning to respond
from really the depth of our human potential, from our spirit, from our awakened heart.
I invite you to bring to mind a difficult situation with another person one that
triggers you - that brings up blame or reactivity in some way.
And it could be with a child, or a parent, partner, friend, or colleague.
And as you choose, let yourself go to
a time that really is illustrative of how you get locked in - when you know
you're in that kind of trance reaction. You get smaller, angry or you're triggered and
zoom into that situation so that you can actually see the setting. Know the room that you're in.
You might sense the furniture or the windows, or if you're outside where you are,
see the look on the other person's face. What the expression is communicating, the words,
and sense what goes on inside you. What's being activated?
As if you could freeze the frame, take a super sacred pause here,
this is so you really sense okay this is it. This is where you know you've shrunk and that
person shrunk in your mind's eye or seeing them as what I call the unreal other - the bad person.
And you're coming from a smaller place in yourself
and this is the time to really call on your most awakened parts of your being.
Sometimes we call the future self, who you're emerging into your awake heart your caring
heart your big mind your wisdom self you can even imagine and get the felt sense of that
awake dimension of your being filling you really filling your body and your heart and your mind
if you might even sense your posture shifting a little and your face changing
right now - that your future self, your high self ,is really filling you,
so you can witness the situation in a fresh way right now.
Begin by sensing from your most high self, What is your intention?
What's your deepest intention here?
What is your intention?
Making the U-turn so that you're bringing you're letting your future self really bear
witness to what's going on inside you. Sense what's been triggered. What are the feelings
that are strongest that have been triggered in this situation? Is it fear? Is it hurt?
What's underneath the anger?
Can you sense the unmet need that's there the need to feel respected? the need to feel loved? the
need to feel safe? the need to feel like you can grow? the need to feel connected and gratified?
what's the need that's being blocked it's not met
and As you bear witness to this from your high self,
sense the possibility of offering care inwardly right now and these are the
moments that if you've never done it or done it a thousand times, bringing the hand to the heart,
light touch to the heart and you can sense that your own most awake being
is just offering in to the place that has unmet needs whatever might help to comfort and heal.
Maybe there's a message that you're sending inwardly.
We become a hundred percent responsible when we can address these unmet needs.
Sending in love, sending in care, sending in self-forgiveness,
sending messages that we can trust who we are.
Notice if you let that in let that fill you
and you sense the presence of your high self just really again just filling you completely,
that you can look through the eyes of wisdom and see more about the other person. That the trance
begins to lift. That you might be able to see past their mask of being angry and controlling
being disrespectful - whatever it seems to their own insecurities, their unmet needs.
And you might find that there are new possibilities for responding. And sense
into that right now. Is there some more flexible way that you can respond to this situation?
Letting yourself be guided by Spirit, by intelligence, by love.
And as we close this meditation, you might sense what is it I want to remember?
What's the deep message for me?
As I move forward, what will help me to awaken through this portal of conflict in the future?
Taking some full breaths and just bringing yourself right into the present moment.
Feeling the quality of your heart right now, the presence that's here.
And as you're ready, opening your eyes.
Namaste and thank you for your attention