So this is New york city
Ethnic distribution
One is California's ethnic distribution
If an international student especially an Indian student goes there to study
then where he can make max inter- cultural friends
Can you guess?
Because these cities are considered as most diverse cities
If you haven't guessed then the answer is no
There's a third city other than these
Not only this third city..Any other city in America
Indian students can make more friends there than these cities
not just Indian students
International students as well
Why its difficult to make friends in such diverse places?
We will learn in this video
So lets start from California's ethnic distribution
If you see clearly then you'll get to know that
Asian community is more than 13%
If you want to see little India
or If you want to see little china
You can see it here
Same with newyork, Here more than 9% is asian community
You can see little china
Especially little punjab is there
little gujarat is here
You can see small small communities of India there
Then why its like..here
Indians are making more friends with Indian commuities
As compared to american communities
Do Americans don't want them as friends?
or we Indians don't want them?
What are the factors because of which this is happening
First of all lets talk about.. What is the benefit
why do we want to make friends with someone not from our country
What is the benefit of having friends with different culture
The biggest benefit is that you get to learn about their values and culture
And to elaborate on this thing we have katie here
So Hi Katie, Can you pls share
What are the benefit of making friends outside of the culture
You made first of all me as your friend
friendzoned me
No..just kidding
She actually did study abroad in morocco
She went outside country
And what were the benefits
of leaving a country
and learning from some other culture
yeah, I can tell you so many benefits
It was my first time experiencing a non western culture
And thats when I got ideas of
collectivism....Having a lot of value in family
and hospitality
Letting even perfect street juice into home for dinner
and strangers are welcomed for dinner
Yeah welcome for dinner on street
And its just for tourist or anything like that
They kind of help each other
So that was very lovely to see
So learning about them and about their language
If I talk about myself
When I came to America
I lived with roommates from Japan
and France
and I have made long term relationship
with americans
My friend you must have seen him
on a different channel
So Carl-John
I have made long term friendship with them
and How I did it and what was the benefits
So the biggest benefit for me was
I was able to learn about American festivals
Like halloween etc but
more important was their values
Their values like How many times they say Thankyou
Please...sorry
and it is rude
If you do not say thankyou sometimes
Lets say if she does my laundry
If I don't say thankyou it is really rude
and if I ask someone for pen
Like in India they say
Give me your pen
And if I don't say please before it
then its rude
Yeah, For sure that can get you in a trouble over here
Don't say that
Now you know friednship is from both sides
If you as an International student want to be friend with an American
You both will bring your hands to make friendship
but why Americans don't want to be friends with Asians
With other communities they still can make
Acc to the data
Americans are able to make long lived friendships with Europeans
Why its like that
Americans consider asians only as East asians
Thats why they consider south asians as Indian or srilankans
Why its like that
yeah I think there are many reasons
obviously there is little bit hold of
Americans
I really disagree from americans on this
They tend to
value and idiolize your Indian culture
they want to learn more about your Indian cultures
They are gonna pay people more
Also, you know..Honestly I think
Its kind of human nature where
you think someone looks really different form you
You might not have a lot of common with them
Its like more difficult to approach them
You should approach people who look really like you
I think those are some of the main reasons
and I have heard that
They think that Indian or asians are evry smart
They are kind of nerds
So do you hesitate
to start a conversation with Indians
you think like they are out of their smartness
or something like this
Do you think that
Out of intimiadation
yeah
yeah so from one of my classes I had to read
research article
why its so hard for International students to make friends with American students
and
stereotype that a lot of American students have
both east asian and south Indian students are kind of nerdy
and they just focus on academics
So they don't want to care about other topics
Americans art as
focused on school in general
they like to talk about sports
They like to talk about music and things like that
They don't want to think about work all the time
So thats why they feel little hesitated
talking to you East asians and south asians
So it is true
Americans think that we indians
we only want to talk about physics, chemistry and mathematics
So that's why in majority of conversation.. It never starts
Now lets talk about why we being Indians we never start
The first reason is that we have choice
We have a choice
I will tell you one example
Lets say that you are
in a classroom which has 40 students
IN such classroom..You'll see 2-3 Indians
and in one classroom there is no Indian
So in the second case
where you don't get to see any Indian other than one
So if you want to do homework or a group project together
and if you want to form a team
You don't have an option
to have an Indian roommate
or person from same community
So this is a really big factor because we have a choice
I will tell you one more thing
in universities in new york
in universities in California
and specially in many universities where
cultural diversity is more
Like more Indians go there
or more east asians go
They have an option
to actually choose their roommate
If you're living in dorm .. You can choose roommate
that I need roommate who is an Indian
I need roommate who is
from the same city
If there is some vegetarian for example
all respect to them
They have an option to filter out
So this is also a big difference
And there's one more challenge why Indians struggle to make diverse friends
that is lack in english proficency
even though we people
understand english
But in someone's time accent..Its sometimes get difficult for us
American Accent
British or Australian accent
but those problems you can immediately solve
Thanks to cambly app
Because cambly is only app of India
with which you can take one to one tutoring
For english
specially in someone of their native language
if you want to talk to someone from UK
You can change country to UK
and talk to them
And this platform can help you in IELTS and TOEFL training also
because in that speaking is the big big thing
Today I want to learn about British Accent
So get started with the English trainings
specially in speaking
If you'll use my code 50HARNOOR
You can get black friday deal also
and you'll get 50% discount
plus free gifts worth 2500rs
Valid only for six months plan and above
till november end
Another reason is America is an Individualistic country
So can you explain what is Individualism
Yeah actually social scientists figured out that
So they are self centred
Yeah
which is kind of a rumour....You can say
but basically
its all about your own personal achievements
You focus on your work and your own ambitions
Family is kind of secondary
Another example could be that
I talk to my parents
twice in a day
My all Indian friends ...call their parents at least once
to check with their family.. How they are doing
But Americans
they don't talk to only their parents
also with grandparents also
I mean...I always text
maybe a couple of times a week
actually talk on the phone
maybe once or twice a month
Thats a difference
So one is this reason
We Indians believe so much in collectivism
My friend's problem is my problem
Our family's problem is also my problem
but thats not the case in them
and I can tell you another example
One time what happened..
My friend had accident
and he was literally outside
other building...He called and asked If I can come to pick him up
Can you take me to the hospital
I immediately left and took him
And literally they had boss
He was in the building and
he didn't even offered to see him
that how he is doing
It was an accident
He was just walking and crossing the road
Someone hit him
and nobody cares
Oh you had accident..Okay take care bye
Like that was the kind of individualism I have seen
and the next reason is
Busyness
Some cities are too much busy like new york
and some cities are like athlanta
or some cities in the south where I'm in
They are not much busiest
Can you share about that
Something that goes along with Individualism and focus on career
is that
most Americans are just busy busy busy
That was also mentioned in articles
That INternational students have hard time
Having enough time to have relationships with americans
There's not much of a culture of hospitality
or friendship
Its everyone with very clear focus
I just found article that International students going to
Places in the south
where pace of life is a little slower
and there's southern hospitality
They actually have greater success
So in other words
cities and states like south of America
where life is slow pace
and people don't panic here
They are not always thinking about work
but they are also thinking about social life
Here people have more time
when they go to bars and clubs
They don't look for short term relationships but long term
but in new york
If you meet someone in bar
There's a very high chance
Next day he will not even remember you
but here
They will try to get in touch on your phone
They try to make long term relation happen
So this is the diff between fast and slow paces
and one latin american says
That I feel like they don't care about me as a person
They like to have fun and short term relations
but they never try to follow up
They don't call me and how I am doing as an excuse
For once short term relations look good
Americans are considered very much friendly
But they are not good about long term relations
They never try to say How are you
very rarely case it happens
I think the main reason is again
is everyone is so busy and focused on their own career
So its also a perception that everyone else feel the same way
I don't randomly call or show up at other people's places
because I feel like I'm ordering them.. They are very busy
I also have stuff to do
So yeah I think its just
Noit really part of our culture
because we don't want to be seen as bothering someone
we take it as everyone is just busy as me
So
Lets say these five followups like How are you
everyday is considered rude right
Its considered like
not rude but creepy
Creepy right
Yeah
But In India its normal
Like How are you doing
Its normal
Whats up like
But here people don't do it everyday
No
Just little If we haven't talked to them for week
Now lets talk about whats the best way being Indians
or international students in the US
We come in college..Whats the best way to
make best out of your time
So that you can do friendship with american students
People of different background colour
and because you can learn so many things from them
So my first advice is to do your research
and know what the expectations are
I think a lot of people
all the reasons you already said
like americans are hard to be friends with
or things like that
I just waant to make assumptions
Just try to put yourself out there as much as possible
in classes maybe try to sit near
americans and talk to them
Things are that
Just kind of hope for the best
Not to have too high and too low expectations
Give americans a chance
My advice will be to force yourself
even though you have option to have an Indian friend
in your group project
Just try once
Try out
A team mate who is not Indian
of different culture
Just try to have diff friends
If you will not try then how will you figure out
because you learn so many things after trying
You have to put yourself out there
to figure it out
That will be my advice
Also its important to do this because
Lets say you're looking for an internship or job in future
You should expand your network
and even if you want to work in India afterwards
Its good to have that experience
Inter cultural cummunication skill
So you're able to work with different people
I think that really good marketable skill
if you're trying to find job in any career
So that will be it for the video
remember that americans are also human beings
If you want to be friends with someone
You can because at the end of the day
You will find something common
In australia you can take cricket as common thing
In US you can find it with movies
Because they have so much of their influence into that
So wherever you go ..YOu can find something in common
which is basic to start friendship
So that will be it
Thankyou so much for watching and see you in next one