Three important things your husband
needs from you, not just wants but needs
from you.
This is part three and
you really should take a look at the
other two parts.
And my name is Paul Friedman, I founded
The Marriage Foundation
and I think these are very very
important points.
So we covered the first two, the first
one
was recognition and appreciation of your
husband
for who he is. The second
we talked about loving communication.
Now this third is touchy
because of the miss and disinformation
that we have all been getting all our
lives
from a society that
is not exactly highly civilized.
We think of our society as highly
civilized
but it's not. I'm not going to get into
that right now maybe I'll touch on it
later.
So the third thing
is expressions of love
but here's the qualifier, it
has to be from his point of view
not just what you think. At The
Marriage Foundation, we have a free
service
and you could take advantage of it too
where you write into a counselor
and get some feedback based on your
question. Now these counselors have been
trained
by me so they have a very positive
outlook
towards marriage and they're also
very high integrity people. So we will
get some situations where
and it's usually a man will write in
with something like, "My wife
left me two months ago, what can I do? I
miss
everything, I want her back." Well,
we can't help him
and so we tell him that. But usually, when
a woman writes in, she's
much better at detecting problems
before they've split up. And so she'll
write in
with a particular problem and she'll get
a good answer.
Oftentimes, it includes reading one of my
books
or taking the course for women but it's
all
geared towards making your marriage not
just
saved, not just getting it back because
no one knows what they're doing when
they get married
and it's no one's fault. The people who
are teaching us don't know
but we want you to have a spectacular
marriage.
You got married to be happier and you
got married to experience
marital/unconditional love.
If you're not, it's not your fault.
You're simply not doing what you're
supposed to do
in order to have that. So in these three
videos I'm giving you three important
things to do that will bring you closer
to that,
and this third one expressing your love
in ways that your husband will recognize
because of the woman's lib movement
which was
so necessary in the business world
and in for voting. I mean basic
stuff, let's face it. Women were
treated like
second-class citizens if that.
It was wrong but like everything human
beings do,
we always go too far and this idea of a
woman
being independent
is great until she's married.
She's no longer independent when she's
married. She's become
a part of a hole
not half of a hole, not a quarter of a
hole,
not three quarters but part of a hole.
There's a merging
and it's on a very high level that's why
we have this term called
soulmates because souls.
You are a soul. It's not a religious
thing.
It's a reality. You're a soul
and as a soul, you are love.
Your love, love
is spiritual. How could love be anything
else?
And it's not an emotion, it's not a
greater like.
It's not like, "Oh, I really like him. Now I
love him."
No, no, no. Love
is this tangible spiritual
reality that all of us have to have.
You have to have it and your husband has
to have it
and because we have bodies and minds,
we have these material filters
that are intended to protect us from a
hostile world because we live in a
hostile world.
But when you get married, you're putting
the hostile world
out there somewhere and you and your
husband
are forming this union of love,
spiritual incredible, ever expanding
love that creates ever-increasing
happiness but we've been taught. No, no.
you got to take a stand. You can't just
give it up. So, how do you work around
this?
Well, you have to learn more for one
thing.
So subscribe to this channel so you
could learn and you could apply
these better ideas about yourself
and about marriage, and about your
husband so you can
experience that happiness and love. Now,
a way a man knows
that his wife loves him,
one of many ways but a very important
way
because he has a body and it's a
male body which means his psychology is
heavily influenced
by the physiology of a male body
as compared to a female body.
He needs to have sex.
He needs this. It is an
ideal way for you to express
your love. I am not suggesting you become
his
w**re or his
blow up dollar or something like that.
You can transform
the lust that is innate in a male
body to a lesser degree,
a female body that's driven
by the drive to survive and its
sub drive to procreate. Do you understand
that?
Every cell, every cell
is innately driven
to survive self-preservation.
Part of that drive to survive is to
protect itself
and you got to watch that when you're
married because you've got to tear that
one down
somewhat. Another part
is to seek opportunity for
food, shelter,
to make sure you're safe. It's
biologically driven.
It just manifests in the mind in
different ways according
to culture and individual
histories. The third
thing that manifests as a result of the
drive to survive
is a protection of you
within your species
and it manifests as the drive to
procreate.
Because like every other living thing we
do
better in our group, it's protection
so that drive is there. It is in there
in you, in your body
and so in your psychology but in a very
different way
than it is in your husband. You see,
you're
driven to procreate only when that egg
is ready.
This is biological. This is not
misogynistic. I've been labeled by crazy
women
who go, "Oh, you're just misogynistic." No,
this is scientific.
This is not something I'm inventing. I
don't have an opinion on this.
This is reality. Women
are driven biologically to have sex
based on certain things that occur.
One of those things is when she's
looking for a mate
and then she's more receptive because
biologically,
nature knows that man wants to procreate
too but all the time. Why
all the time? All the time because if
he was on a special clock too the
chances of
meeting up at the right time are slim.
So he's got to be ready all the time for
you who are only ready
when, and don't take this the wrong way,
but a female is designed
by her body to get things
too. So when she wants something, and it's all
happening in the mind. You've got to
learn
how your mind works.
So when you want something,
you're more receptive to having sex.
When you wanted to find a husband, you
are more
receptive to having sex.
When your body is telling you, egg is
ready
you're more receptive even pushy about
it
to having sex. It's biologically driven.
It's not a
curse.
It's not an indictment. It's just the way
it is
and on the other side, the male has
to be ready all the time or there'd be
no more human beings.
So that's like a perversion of ourselves
as
human beings as souls but it is what it
is so you want to
work with it. You
got to go back to the original premise.
The original point
is you want a marriage filled with
happiness
and love.
Now, when I did the videos for the men
we talked about him pleasing you.
Mostly, that's all it was about. It's the
same for you.
You should be striving to please your
husband how
he sees it just as when I talk to the
men.
It's how women see it.
It's not a 50-50 deal remember. You're
coming together
and the idea is to transcend the body,
transcend the mind and be connected as
souls.
So you use this sex
that he craves because of his biological
drives, you use this as an opportunity
to lift up your energies to the heart
and connect at the soul. It takes some
practice but
man, when you have it -- it's amazing.
You won't get there if you're turning
him down
all the time. He will not think you love
him.
He will see your love as conditional
because you're holding back in an area
that is important to him
and I've heard this comment a gazillion
times when I
meet with women. "Well, what if I have a
headache?"
"What if I've been working all day and
I'm tired?"
Well you know
you're not stupid. You modify
the sex. You don't have to have
monkey sex. You don't have to turn it
into a contest to see who has an orgasm
first,
you modify it. You modify your connection.
And if there are times when you just
can't
if you're usually in a
yes mode
then he'll understand if you just
can't but there's a huge
problem in the western world.
It's really not so bad in other
countries where women are taught
from the time they're children that
pleasing
their husband is part of being a woman.
And where men are taught
that pleasing their wife is part of
being a man.
We're into this independent thing
that is just messing up marriages left
and right.
Now, this is nobody's business except
yours and your husbands.
It's a very private thing, very personal
but you want to open your heart. You want
to love your husband
in a way that lets him know.
That you're putting him ahead of
yourself.
I say the same thing to men,
not around the sex obviously, but I tell
men,
your wife has to know from
her point of view that you put
her above yourself
otherwise, it's conditional
and you won't experience this
greatest gift of marriage unconditional
love,
Subscribe to the channel, get the course
for women.
Read one of my books. You'll start to
adjust.
You'll start getting away from the
negative thinking, the defensive thinking,
the argumentative thinking
that seems to dominate our culture.
And you'll start to go, "Hey, I can have an
amazing marriage.
I can be floating in marital bliss,"
because you can. That's what I want for
you.
I don't want your husband to be like
the one who really gets it in the
marriage. I want you
to be the one. All right.
Hopefully, this is useful and helpful for
you.
Blessings to you! Don't be afraid to
leave a comment,
nothing snarky but if you have a
question, leave
a question and I will respond. I make it
a point. It
takes a lot of time but it's worth it. I
respond to the questions that come
in on the videos below