Film Courage: I know we are what seems like a freer culture right now where people don’t
have to be bound by with as much as what their own family of origin say that they should
be doing and people seem to be okay with just being who they are.
It seems like we’re coming into our own like that.
I am just doing a bunch of double speak.
Let’s talk about people who give you advice, they are not in the industry and they are
telling you “You shouldn’t do that.”
But part of it may be that they won’t actually allow themselves
to go outside what their identity say they should be.
Dar Dixon, Actor: The human condition baby, right?
It happens all of the time.
I’m sure that you’ve felt it?
Film Courage: Oh…I…yes…but I’ve never been one to care about convention.
I can’t like a song that everyone else likes until years later and then I hear it and go
“That’s pretty good?”
But because it was so popular at that time I cringed.
So I have that disease.
I know that this is its own affliction, maybe it’s a contrarian complex, I don’t know
what it is.
Dar: It has to do with authority.
So just think about who your primary authority figures were in your life…psstt…Mom and
Dad and the relationship you had with them.
That’s where it all stems from.
Anyway…yes they do.
It takes courage to be an artist, it takes enormous courage to be an artist.
Whatever your art is.
It’s not easy sitting down and pouring your heart out into a script even if it’s a story
you’ve created.
It’s still your blood sweat and tears and your heart on that page.
That takes guts.
To sit in front of a camera and act out those words and perform it and bring it to life
with a point of view incredibly hard, incredibly hard.
Same for the production, same for all of it.
It’s all challenging.
I salute all artists because it takes enormous courage and that type of courage doesn’t
go unnoticed and when people who aren’t chasing their dream or going after what they
really want, whatever it may be, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be in the arts,
whatever that may be.
When they aren’t doing that and they have fallen in step to conventional wisdom, to
groupthink (and I know a little bit about that because I got caught up in that groupthink)
that is extremely detrimental to one’s health, happiness and safety.
And yes, jealousy comes out of that and condemnation.
It’s the easiest thing in the world, we’ll all pick and attack each other constantly
instead of supporting each other and encouraging each other.
Then you see that the people who are the most successful in any industry, in any walk of
life who are doing what they love, who love what they’re doing, they are happier, they
are more peaceful, they are the most generous, the most supportive, the most loving, with
their time, their resources, their money, whatever it may be because I think they see
and they understand inherently how tough it is to put yourself out on the line, to put
yourself out there, to let yourself be seen (warts and all) which is going back to we
all beat ourselves up “My gosh, what were they thinking about me?
Was that terrible?
Was that awful?
I’ll never work again.”
Right?
Relax man, take it easy.
It’s okay.
I think it’s great, you go out and find a mentor.
Someone who is seeded and it doesn’t even have to be the same thing you’re in.
I encourage everyone to go outside of their comfort zone into completely unknown territories
and business and industries and start to learn about it.
If you have an interest in it not just willy nilly “Hey I’m going to go into the auto
manufacturing plant today.
If you’re interested in autos great but just go put yourself out there whatever it
may be.
Go to a seminar, go to a convention, go to a meeting and see what’s going on and necessarily
that starts to inform you really in the ways you never expected.
Really in the most wonderful ways.
Film Courage: Have you ever had an audition where it went horribly wrong and then it turns
out you got the part?
And you were shocked.
Like you thought they didn’t like you, they didn’t even look up from their papers?
Some story like that?
Dar: Only if we count every audition yes that’s happened quite a few times actually.
And that’s one of those times where I stop and thought to myself “Son you don’t know
anything.
You have got preconceived ideas, presuppositions, you’re just like…maybe you should rethink
a few things.”
And that’s a good thing because it takes you outside of yourself and that’s not what
everyone else is doing.
You can live your whole life very comfortably doing what you’re suppose to do: go to school,
get good grades, graduate, get your job, buy a house, get your mortgage, have kids, get
a family and that’s all wonderful and if it’s not your thing then it’s not your
thing and you need to find out what your thing is and then go and do that.
And doing that is going to necessarily bring up the thing you’re talking about.
People judging you or people being jealous of you or trying to pull you down or people
trying to make it hard for you in any number of ways usually it’s passive-aggressiveness
but you’ve got to find that strength within yourself and just keep soldiering on.
Film Courage: We all here these phrases “Fear is the absence of love.”
Do you think when you actually see it happen and it could be from people whom you went
to school with that you were close to in college and then you go on a slightly different path
and you see their fear reaction.
And then it becomes lonely because it becomes do I comply and stay with the group and now
I have someone where to go or do I do what I want to do and then maybe the phone stops
ringing.
Dar: Yes, that’s crazy town right there.
Film Courage: It can be the truth for a lot of people.
It can be true for entrepreneurs who want to start a business and people say “You
are ruining your life.
Don’t leave that good job.”
Dar: That’s a great point and yes all of that happens.
It has happened but it happens to me a lot less now but that’s because I made a concerted
effort to really keep myself more focused, more aware of what I’m doing and what’s
going on in any given situation that I’m in.
Like I said awareness creates choice, the more choice I have I’m always going to naturally
choose what serves me and the situation better.
So entrepreneurs and artists are really kind of one in the same thing because they all
have the same struggle.
You are creating something whatever that may be and you’re going to fail more often than
you succeed.
That’s just how it’s going to go.
And that requires a lot of courage and you are going to have to deal with a lot of doubts,
a lot of fears and a lot of resentments and jealousies and and and…And you have to find
your way through that because there is no one way.
If anyone tries to tell you “This is the way you do it” is either lying to you or
bull talking you or trying to sell you something.”
Really simple right?
Film Courage: Or all three.
Dar: Or all three at the same time which is an especially distasteful combination.
So…be nice to yourself man, find out what works for you.
And you are going to find out what works for you by finding out what doesn’t work for
you constantly.
Fear, everyone has it.
Brene Brown became very popular with her TED Talk and then her appearances on national
television, it’s genius and it’s simplicity and it’s showing your vulnerability.
Look I don’t have the answers, I certainly don’t in fact the more I learn the more
I learn I don’t know anything in the grand scheme of things.
When you show yourself right, when you put yourself out there, when you let yourself
be seen, your work, your artwork, your direction (whatever it may be) your music, your lyrics,
your dancing, your body, your hair, everything that’s necessarily a vulnerable place but
that’s where all the magic happens, letting people see you and feel your humanity and
see it for all of its flaws because we all have them, we all do and in this industry
it’s really easy to put forth an image and have a narrative and then get that thing stamped
boom boom boom boom across all of these television shows and all of these radio interviews and
all of these podcasts or you are very pensive or whatever it may be but that’s not the
whole picture, it never is, it’s just in the frame.
And what’s in the frame is in the frame but that’s not the whole story.
So don’t be afraid to let someone know you don’t know what’s going on.
Or “You know what, I’m scared man.
I don’t know how this is going to go.”
That happens where I go and do a scene and it’s a very emotional scene or a very dangerous
scene or a very psychical scene “I hope this goes well.”
But I’ve done my work, I’m made strong choices and I know what the story being told
is and I know what’s going on and then I’ve got to trust the other actor and the writing
and words on the page and the setting and the dynamic and just go.
Let it happen right?
Similarly I think it would be great advice to add that into your life as well and great
advice to start to add that into your life as well kind of coming back full circle “art
saved my life.”
I learned that through art.
Question For The Viewers: What does this conversation make you think about?