Online, I found a group of men
who put shiphorns on trucks
in order to attract the female species
Far out in desolate areas
they blow their horns
to create echos that spread out
to reach their targets
They call themselves human birds
sending out artificial mating calls
I came to realize
that I needed a horn like this
on my car
I got in contact with the Master of the Arts of hornblowing
who goes by the name of The Hornhunter
OK, well, listen Mr Hornhunter
I don't like the sound of your emails, lately
Let me tell you
I am very happy you help me out and all
but I am young, and in need of a girlfriend
And I know that a horn will do the magic
I think you need to get yourself out there
and start blowing
Come on, man!
You need air from time to time
Use the skills that you've taught me
Are you disappointed
that I still haven't built my horn?
I need time
First, I shall visit that Indian you told me about
Dear Noel, It's been a long winter
You once asked me
if women use their dresses, lipstick, and heels
to attract the opposite sex
I believe so
But what do you have, Noel?
You will have your horn
That will be your feathers
Speaking of feathers
did you study the birds songs I've sent you?
I'm selling my horns on eBay now
I just don't have the energy anymore
Forget about all those technical things I've told you before
Feel it and just build it!
I can't help you any further, my friend
You need to go on that quest alone now
Find that girl with your horn, boy
I never did
"Au revoir mon ami"
Dear Hornhunter, I hope everything is well over there
Just to let you know
you are not the woman I seek
However, I am now more in need
of finding you and building that horn than ever before
I used your last thoughts, and the bird songs, and the Indian
to guide me to my goal
I just really need to find the right sound
and I need you to listen
Wish me luck!
Salute, Noel