Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome back to Reddit's
50/50 challenge. Now, some of you may not know what this is about and consider yourself lucky.
But if you don't, I'll explain it very quickly. This is true
50/50 mode on the 50/50 subreddit, which means that of the two options that are presented to me, like "Cute Charmy the Bee,"
or "Dr. Robotnik rule 34."
That means if I click on this link, I will get one... or the other. But okay, let's try this
I don't know what I'm gonna see.
AHH! IT'S DR. ROBOTNIK! AH! WHY!? (Robotnik: *laughs* It's no use, give up!)
*internally and externally crying*
Oh-ho my god, why!?
Why would someone draw that?
Why would someone put time and effort into drawing that?
(Because they can, Mark. It's the internet, get used to it.)
What would they do that? Why couldn't I've gotten cute Charmy Bee? Okay, do you get it?
Do you get the idea? Yeah, it's one or the other, and right now I'm only getting one. *chuckles*
Okay, here we go. I'm pos- I'm stalling for time because I don't wanna keep going, but here we go.
"A video of my dog rolling around in some grass," that sounds lovely, or "My horrific sunburn."
That doesn't sound lovely.
**gAsP***
IT'S A DOGGY! Oh! *giggles* Thank goodness!
Oh, thank goodness, look at the doggy!
Oh, look at you!
Oh, look at you! (x2)
Oh, what a cutie! What a cutie patootie! What a cute- oh, look at that wag!
I needed this so badly! Purge Dr. Robotnik from my brain!
oOf
Okay OOf
"English teen holds onto firecracker for too long,"
oOF
"Platypus eating from hand and getting belly rubs."
*mark makes faces of disgust*
**gAsP*** (x2)
It's the- *cracking up*
*literally starts dying*
It's the platypus! *chuckles*
Aren't you horrifically poisonous? Isn't that dangerous for the person? Like, aren't platypi extremely poisonous? (Only on the "thumbs")
But look at the little toots! (what?)
Ooohoho, that's so cute
*mark is physically unable to english*
This title is just- WHAT IS THIS?
"Grandma is set on fire on her birthday?"
That's such a horrible sentence! On her birthday, grandma's birthday? Or baby panda trying to scape.
I'm guessing that means escape.
*orgasm*
G R A N D M A NO! N O O O O !!
Okay, that's enough of that! Don't spray silly string around fire! It's so flammable!
I wanted a baby panda trying to escape. Okay, "Old man plays beautiful rendition of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' on a saw,"
or "Aftermath of circular saw accident."
*inhale*
Oh, please, I just want to hear "Over the Rainbow."
*music*
*orgasm (x2)*
*more music*
That's so nice!
*music continues, mark interrupting*
That's nice!
That's so nice. Oh, that's nice. Oh, that's real nice
Oh that's real nice, oh, that's nice. Alright, that was nice. That was totally worth it.
I'm so glad that I risked my sanity for seeing that, that was great
Alright, "Man falls off motorcycle," or "Man does cool vape bubble trick." Let's go
Ayy, it's bubble trick
Vape me! Vape it up! *MARK!*
Wow! (x1)
Wow! (x2)
Wow! (x3)
Wow! (x4)
Wow! (x5)
Wow! (x6)
Wow! (x7)
Wow! (x8)
I don't like this. I don't like this whole phrase. "Cute girl being poopy," *ew*
What does that-
What does that mean? "Cute girl finds a puppy," or "Cute girl being poopy?" What kinda even sentence is that? *mark cannot english*
Wh-what phrase- what universe is that? Is that an apt description of what's happening in that content? *mark, you have no right to speak*
Oh, oh-
OHH NOOOOO! OHHH-
*mark regrets his entire life*
I know what they mean now by cute girl being poopy.
Ugh...
Okay,
I'm not sure what this even means. "Lion cub hugging mom," or "Anime spider tooth vagina spitting webs."
Now, I've seen a few animes in my time.
And I have-
I have no idea what that might be, but I completely believe that it exists.
Oh~
*giggling*
Thank goodness!
Unless this is like a horrible mixture of the two. This is just lovely. I like THAT. That's good.
Okay.
*quietly* What is this-
We've got "Toto - Africa (Vocals one Step Out of Key & Off Beat)," or "Toto by Africa-" or "Africa by Toto."
Alright.
*Africa starts playing*
Sounds like Africa.
I mean it's-
*OH GOD MY EARS*
(wait, wat)
*HUFF*
*finally realizes it*
(he got the off-key one)
*starts laughing as his ears are screaming at him*
Oh, god
*laughing in realization*
*moar laughter at the obvious off-key part*
*mark needs help*
Oh my god...
Oh my god!
*laughing*
Okay that's- I can't. I can't do that *laughing*
That's so bad!
You know, it's bad when me trying to read this in my head doesn't make any logical sense.
"Dude puking blood into an empty skull, and drinking it again, all while wearing an octopus on his head," (ew)
OR,
"How a liquid behaves when existing in all three phases at once." Now, me a science buff
I think that'd be cool to see.
I don't know why a dude is puking blood into an empty skull and drinking and all while wearing an octopus on his head, but
Here we goooooo
WHY-
Where did you get that octopus? Oh thank god. I'm just-
Why? WHY? WHY DOES THAT EXIST?
What- what- that looks professionally shot! Is there any way that I can get the other one? Cause I'm actually curious.
Oh, yeah. Look I got the other one. Now, what is this?
OOHHHH
oooooh
I don't know what tha- whaaa...
uhhh...
That's so cool!
What is that? Okay. Well, that was- that was fun. Alright, let's keep going. I guess some of these,
uhh... I-
Some of these I intentionally avoid, and it'll be pretty obvious why, cause I'm not here for
PORN...
and I don't want to see the alternative.
So if it's something like "Girl with *Try not to laugh,*" or "Sliced up penis,"
I'm just gonna skate right by cause I don't need none of that. That is okay.
Uhh, how about this one. "Police dog gives CPR," or "Women angry over lack of cheese?"
They both say safe for work.
Was it "Police dog giving CPR?"
*i don't understand these words*
*mark is amazed by the adorableness of doggo/pupper saving life*
That's such a good dog!
That's a- I love the little light on the back! That's such a good dog!
Ohoho, you're such a good dog!
You did it! I love the light, you need the light, you need a wee-woo
Oh, that was so good. I don't know what the angry women over cheese thing was.
Oh. Oh, no.
Eugh. I have a funny feeling this ain't gonna be worth it. "aftermath of man mauled by bear,"
or "My cat in a blanket."
**gAsP*** (x3)
It's a cat-- Oh my god I'm so relieved.
Ohh, it's-
This is like the- the pure adrenaline from- oh my god, I don't want to see it.
Oh, it's just a cat!
It's just a cat. Oh, it's just a cat. Oh, it's so nice. Oh, it's so nice. It's so nice. That's so nice
Oh boy,
Alright saxophone- saxophone- another music one. "Saxophone quartet plays the Mii Channel theme," or "Horrible recorder cover of the Mii Channel theme."
Let's go for it, baby
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
OH
(got the bad one)
*more cringe*
OHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHH!
*i feel like i'm subtitling porn*
ah.
Tha- ohh yeah. That's nice.
Yeah, that's- that's real good. Thank you.
Ok, I'm done. Thank you. That was great. Thank you. Thank you.
*distorted* THANK YOU.
How about this one? "Cute fluffy doggy smiles at the camera," or "Guy collects public used
property as part of his fetish and becomes one with it." *Oh dear*
*confusion at title*
*mouths* What?
What kind of fetish requires you to become one with public used property? Guess I'm gonna find out, aren't we?
*instant regret*
NOOOOOOOOOOO*Mark's sanity dies*
nope (x1)
nope (x2)
nope (x3)
nope (x4)
nope (x5)
noooooooo (x1)
noooooooo (x2)
EUGH
UGH
He was collecting poop. (x1)
He was collecting poop. (x2)
He was collecting poop. (x3)
UGH.
*shudder*
Just want a happy one, you know. *Poor Mark*
I'd just like a happy one. "Gangrene foot," or "Small puppy." I'll take the small puppy, please, please
Can I have the small puppy? Can I get this?
**gAsP*** (x3)
That's nice. That's good. Okay, thank you.
*markimoo's heart melts at the puppo doing cute stuff*
Thank you. I needed this so badly.
I needed this really badly.
It's a tiny adorable puppy and I love it.
I love it forever,
and I love it, (x1)
and I love it, (x2)
and I love it. (x3)
So I'm gonna end that there. That is Reddit's 50/50 challenge.
If you want to go down the rabbit hole of this horrible, horrible, horrible subreddit,
feel free. I'll put a link in the description.
You can turn not-safe-for-work off, but there are fewer submissions, obviously.
But you know, hey.
You know, pick and choose at your own risk, see what's worth it. Try to have fun, and...(emphasis on TRY)
*mark wants to die*
Thank you everybody so much for watching. Thank you for subjecting yourself to this with me,
or just watching me subjecting myself to horrible stuff. I mean, obviously I censored
the best of it
Oh, this is why it took over a year to do it again, yeah anyway, but thank you everybody so much for watching.
I hope you guys enjoy this, lemme know what you thought in the comments below whew, oh, man and, uh...
Thanks again for watching. Oh, and just FYI, if you're looking to support the channel, it's no longer called "sponsorships,"
they're now called "channel memberships." The big sponsor button has changed to a join button. That's what that is.
So, if there was any confusion, hope that cleared it up. Thank you again everybody so much for being here.
*inhale*
And as always, I will see YOU in the next video
Buh-bye!