>>>
>>> SOMETIMES I GO IN THE OTHER ROOM AND I SCREAM AND I JUST LET
HER CRY.
HER CRY.
HER CRY. I FEEL SO GUILTY BECAUSE ALL I
EVER PRAYED FOR WAS A FAMILY AND
NOW I HAVE THESE TWO BEAUTIFUL L
LITTLE GIRLS.
LITTLE GIRLS. >> AND.
>> AND.
>> AND. >> THEY'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
>> TAKE A SIP.
>> THAT IS SOMETHING ALL OF US
MOMS CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO.
BEING A MOM IS HARD WORK AND IT
CAN TAKE A LOT OUT OF US
INCLUDING OUR SENSE OF SELF.
CHANGE CAN BE EXPECTED BUT HOW
MUCH OF OURSELVES DO WE GIVE UP
AS WE WAIT THROUGH THIS THING
CALLED PERPETRATORING AND OF
COURSE HOW DO WE MAYBE GET IT
BACK ONCE WE REALIZE IT'S BEEN
GONE.
GONE.
GONE. JOINING ME TO WEIGH IN ON THIS
IS CARA KNEER.
SHERRY OWENS AND CEO OF
COMMUNICATIONS ANDREA HAMILTON.
I ASKED HER TO ADD THAT LAST
CLIP.
CLIP.
CLIP. AND
CLIP. AND NOW THEY'RE LATER THAN
NORMAL BUT I WALKED INTO WHERE
AND JIM WAS WATCHING SEX IN THE
CITY 2 AND I REMEMBER WHEN I SAW
THAT SCENE IN THE THEATER
CRYING.
CRYING.
CRYING. YOU LAUGH A LITTLE BIT.
>> BAA IT'S REAL.
>> IT'S SO REAL.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> AND THANKS.
HOW MANY OF YOU FELT THAT WAY?
I MEAN 100%.
>> I LOVE IT BECAUSE ALL THAT
SHE'S SO POSITIVE.
LIKE OH, MY GOD.
I LOVE IT.
I LOVED IT.
>> OH, YEAH AND IT'S DEFINITELY
CAUSED YOU TO DRINK.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. WELL.
WELL.
WELL. >>
WELL. >> THAT WAS ANOTHER REAL TALK
DISCUSSION.
DISCUSSION. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> BUT NO I MEAN.
>> IT'S SO NORMAL TO FEEL THAT
WAY.
WAY.
WAY. BUT
WAY. BUT WHEN YOU'RE IN IT, YOU FEEL
GUILTY.
GUILTY.
GUILTY. YOU DO FEEL THE GUILT NO MATTER
WHAT IF YOU HAVE ONE CHILD OR 10
YOU ALWAYS FEEL THE GUILT BUT
IT'S A REALISTIC THING.
YOU FEEL ALMOST LIKE A BAD
PARENT IF YOU FEEL THAT WAIT BUT
YOU REALLY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I JUST NEED SILENCE FOR TWO
SECONDS.
SECONDS.
SECONDS. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> IT'S LIKE HOW DID I GET HERE.
I KNOW HOW I GOT HERE BUT NOW
I'M SAD BECAUSE IT IS A
BLESSING.
BLESSING.
BLESSING. BUT IT'S A LOT.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> IT IS.
>> IT IS.
>> IT IS. >> WHATEVER AND I'M A
STAY-AT-HOME MOM AND I HAVE HELP
AND THEY CHEERS TO THE MOMS WHO
DON'T AND THE MOMS WHO ARE DOING
IT ALL.
IT ALL.
IT ALL. IT JUST GOES TO SHOW WHETHER YOU
HAVE HELP, NO HELP, WHETHER YOU
STAY AT HOME, WORK PART TIME,
FULL TIME WE'RE ALL FACED WITH
THESE CHALLENGES.
THESE CHALLENGES. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY CHANGED THE
MOST WHEN YOU BECAME A MOM?
>> MY SCHEDULE HONESTLY.
MY CAREER FIELD I TRAVEL A LOT I
WORK WITH DIFFERENT CLIENTS AND
JUST HAVING TO WITH A CHILD YOU
HAVE TO GET THEM ON A ROUTINE.
AND ME NOT HAVING A REAL
SCHEDULE BECAUSE I DO SO MANY
DIFFERENT THINGS IT'S VERY HARD
AND I'M STILL BATTLING IT TODAY
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HER
SCHEDULE WHILE I'M STILL ON THE
SCHEDULE THAT DOESN'T EXIST AND
IT'S LIKE THAT WAS THE BIGGEST
THING SINCE DAY 1 BECAUSE YOU
HAVE TO FIGURE OUT THEIR FEEDING
SCHEDULE, THEIR SLEEPING
SCHEDULE.
SCHEDULE.
SCHEDULE. IT'S THIS CONSTANT SCHEDULE.
AND IT JUST KEEPS GROWING.
THE LIST KEEPS GROWING ON THIS
TIME SCALE AND YOU'RE STILL
TRYING TO WORK.
YOU'RE DOING A LOT OF HOUSE HOLD
THINGS.
THINGS.
THINGS. IT'S JUST HOW DO YOU BALANCE ALL
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. >>
THAT. >> I WOULD SAY ONE THING THAT
CHANGED WITH ME IS MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HUSBAND.
HE WOULD WALK IN THE DOOR AND I
STAY AT HOME BUT I WORK FROM
HOME.
HOME.
HOME. SO
HOME. SO I DID BOTH THINGS AND SO IT
WAS LIKE DOUBLE WHAMMY.
HE WOULD TELL THE DAYS THAT I
HAD BY WHAT MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE.
IF IT WAS UP OR SHOOTING OUT
HE'S LIKE OH, HERE LET ME TAKE
THEM FROM YOU.
>> YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD A CHANCE
TO PUT THAT BRUSH THROUGH.
>> AND THOSE POOR DADS, THE ONES
WHO WORK ALL DAY AND THEN YOU
COME HOME AND THE KIDS JUST WANT
YOUR ATTENTION AND SO, YOU KNOW,
IT DOES WORK ON THAT HUSBAND AND
WIFE RELATIONSHIP AS WELL.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S NOT
ABOUT YOU ANYMORE.
YOU KIND OF GO THROUGH DIFFERENT
STAGES OF THAT.
LIKE WHEN YOU GET A PARTNER YOU
HAVE TO TAKE THEIR STOPS AND
WANTS AND CONSIDERATIONS AND YOU
FOUND THAT WITH A CHILD AND
YOU'RE LIKE I'M LOSING MORE AND
MORE OF MYSELF I THINK IT'S JUST
SO IMPORTANT TO TRY TO MAKE TIME
FOR YOURSELF AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
BUT THAT'S ALSO THE HARDEST
THING TO DO AND TO HAVE ADULT
CONVERSATION.
CONVERSATION. >> THAT'S WHAT THIS PARTICULAR
BLOGGER SAID.
BLOGGER SAID. LIKE WHAT ARE WAYS IF YOU ARE
NOTICING LOCKING YOURSELF INHE
CLOSET CRYING MAYBE HAVING A
BEER IN THE SHOWER.
IT'S SO RELAXING TO SET ON THE
LEDGE.
LEDGE.
LEDGE. IT
LEDGE. IT WAS LOVELY QUITE FRANKLY.
>> SO YOU'RE A BEER IN THE
SHOWER NOT A WINE IN THE BATH
GIRL.
GIRL.
GIRL. >>
GIRL. >> WELL.
>> WELL.
>> WELL. SHOWER AND BATH TIME IS THE
TIME.
TIME.
TIME. >>
TIME. >> YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY.
SOMEHOW BEING IN THE BATHTUB
MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY.
BEING IN THE SHOWER I'M LIKE IT
MAKES ME FEEL LESS GUILTY.
>> I DON'T THINK I'VE HAD A BATH
IN 8 YEARS ACTUALLY SGH A LONG
TIME.
TIME.
TIME. >>
TIME. >> I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT.
>> SO THIS PARTICULAR BLOGGER
CANDACE GANGER SAID ARE ARE SOME
TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS.
JUST MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY.
DO YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THIS.
LIKE I NEED TO GET MY NAILS DONE
AND I'M GOING TRY TO DO THAT
THIS AFTERNOON .
JUST REAL QUICK.
>> WHAT I'VE DONE RECENTLY MAYBE
LIKE WITHIN THE PAST YEAR I
WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING CHLGT
AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME.
BUT I FORCED MYSELF TO BUY A
MEMBERSHIP WITH THE SPA SO THAT
I'M NOW FORCED TO GO.
>> VERY GOOD.
>> ONCE A MONTH AND AT LEAST
THAT'S MY ONE HOUR I CAN POWER
MY PHONE OFF.
I DON'T HAVE AVA.
I JUST KIND OF SIT IN SILENCE.
BUT IF I HAD NOT PURCHASED A
MEMBERSHIP AND MADE THIS A
FORCEFUL THING I PROBABLY WOULD
NEVER HAVE DONE THIS.
>> THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA.
>> CARA YOU LIKE THAT.
>> NO ONE LIKES TO WASTE MONEY
AND YOU SEE IT COMING LIKE I'M
NOT GOING I NEED TO GO.
I'M SPENDING IT.
>> THAT'S WHAT I DO.
I DO JIM LIKE THAT THOUGH.
MY GYM TIME.
NOW MY KIDS ARE BOTH IN
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. BUT FOR MOST MOMS YOU ARE IN
THAT STAGE WHERE YOU HAVE TO BE
HOME WITH THEM SO THE TIME TO DO
IT IS PUT THEM TO BED.
HONEY THEY'RE IN BED NOW.
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE TIME FOR
YOURSELF AND THAT'S IMPORTANT.
YOUR HEALTH AS WELL.
>> I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH WHEN THE
GIRLS WERE LITTLE WHEN I WORKED
OUT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LENOX
MALL AND THEY ALWAYS HAD CHILD
CARE AND THAT WAS A REAL SAVING
GRACE BECAUSE FOR A YEAR THAT
WOULD BE MY THING.
I WOULD TAKE HER AND SHE'D SPEND
AN HOUR IN THERE IN THE ROOM
NEXT DOOR AND THAT WAS -- YOU'RE
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
RIGHT. BUYING THE TIME.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE THAT
OPPORTUNITY YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE
IT.
IT.
IT. >>
IT. >> THINK ABOUT ALL THE SINGLE
MOMS THAT HAVE TO WORK SIX JOBS
AND THEY COME HOME AND THEY HAVE
A HALF HOUR WITH THEIR KIDS AND
THEY'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW
TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM TAKE
CARE OF THEMSELVES.
>> NOW I THOUGHT THFSZ AN
INTERESTING ONE.
INTERESTING ONE. GO AFTER CAREER AMBITIONS EVEN
HARDER.
HARDER.
HARDER. SO DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU COULDN'T
ACHIEVE ALL THAT YOU WANTED FROM
A CAREER AFTER YOU HAD KIDS.
WAS THERE A MOMENT WHERE IT
FLASHED OR MAYBE WHILE YOU WERE
PREGNANT OR MAYBE BEFORE BUT
THAT YOU REALLY THOUGHT OH, NO
AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT
I WANTED TO DO.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> WELL I OWN MY OWN BUSINESS
AND I STARTED IT LITERALLY WHEN
I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER.
>> YOU CAN DO IT LADIES.
YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING THAT YOU
LOVE TO DO THAT YOU WILL FEEL
GOOD THAT YOU'RE BRINGING HOME
SOME MONEY BUT YOU'RE HOME WITH
YOUR KIDS AND IF YOU WANT TO
STAY HOME WITH YOUR KIDS, YOU
CAN DO IT.
>> THAT WAS THE SAME FOR ME.
I HAD STARTED MY BUSINESS AND
FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT THREE
MONTHS LATER I WAS LIKE WOW HERE
WE ARE.
WE ARE.
WE ARE. AND ACTUALLY WHEN I TOLD ALL MY
CLIENTS THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE ME
BECAUSE I WAS SO SMALL AND I WAS
LIKE I'M DONE LETTING YOU KNOW.
BUT EVEN THEN I JUST.
I EVEN CHECKED OUT THE HOSPITAL
REALLY QUICK AND I JUST FELT
LIKE I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO
WORK BECAUSE I WAS LIKE I DIDN'T
WANT TO LOSE MYSELF IN PARENT
HOOD BUT STILL BE A GREAT MOTHER
AND I WAS SO DETERMINED STILL TO
THIS DAY LIKE HOW DO I BALANCE
BOTH BECAUSE A LOT OF WOMEN DO
ULTIMATELY LET GO OF THEIR GOALS
AND THE THINGS THEY'RE DOING
JUST BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE THEY
HAVE TO BE THIS 24 HOUR ON HAND
PARENT BUT AT THE SAME TIME IF
YOU HAVE HELP, A BABY SITTER OR
A SPOUSE OR A FAMILY MEMBER
SOMEONE CAN RELIEVE YOU A LITTLE
BIT PLEASE DO WHATEVER YOU CAN.
WORK FROM HOME IF YOU CAN OR
JUST DO ANYTHING YOU CAN TO KEEP
UP WHAT YOU HAVE GOING ON.
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE A MENTAL
HEALTH THING.
HEALTH THING. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> I THINK IT'S SO IMPORTANT TOO
TO BACK UP WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
I HAVE FOUND THAT I AM HAPPY NOT
-- I COULD BE DOING MORE OF A
NEW THING WHERE I'D BE WORKING
24 HOURS A DAY AND I DON'T WANT
TO DO THAT SO FOR ME IT'S MORE
OF JUSTIFYING TO OTHER PEOPLE
THAT I'M HAPPY WHICH IS SO
STRANGE BECAUSE IT'S LIKE WELL
DON'T YOU WANT TO DO THIS.
I GET THAT ALL THE TIME.
DON'T YOU WANT TO DO THIS.
I'M LIKE I'M GOOD.
I'M GREAT.
I'M GREAT. >> BUSINESS IT'S SO FUNNY.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET ON A
NATIONAL SHOW.
NATIONAL SHOW. ACTUALLY I WAS SEVERAL YEARS AGO
HGTV WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE KIDS AND
SINGLE.
SINGLE.
SINGLE. NOW THIS IS THE NEXT PHASE OF MY
LIFE AND I'M PERFECTLY CONTENT.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO JUSTIFY IT TO
OTHER PEOPLE.
OTHER PEOPLE. WE ONLY HAVE A MINUTE AND JUST
TO JUMP AHEAD MAKE TIME FOR
FRIENDS.
FRIENDS.
FRIENDS. THAT SEEMS LIKE A NO-BRAINER BUT
YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
AND YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT
THAT MEANS.
THAT MEANS. IS IT JUST AN HOUR.
IS IT LUNCH.
IS IT LUNCH EVERY OTHER FRIDAY
WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS.
FIGURE IT OUT.
LET THINGS GO.
THIS IS HONESTLY I KNOW WE CAN
SPEND A WHOLE HOUR ON THIS.
EVERYTHING NOT BEING PERFECT.
IT DOES DRIVE ME CRAZY AND I'VE
HAD TO LET IT GO.
WHETHER IT'S MY HOUSE.
TO THE WAY THEIR CLOSETS LOOK.
ALL THIS.
ALL THIS.
ALL THIS. >> YOU CAN'T CONTROL.
THIS PARENTING STUFF IS LIKE
EVERYONE'S JOURNEY IS DIFFERENT.
EMPHASIS'S CHILD IS DIFFERENT.
YOU JUST LITERALLY DON'T KNOW
YOU HAVE TO GO WITH THE PUNCHES
EVERY DAY.
EVERY DAY. >> JUST BEING ORGANIZED AND
REALLY GETTING READY DOING A
HOME RENOVATION.
HOME RENOVATION. >> I DON'T KNOW HOW.
HOW YOU'RE DOING IT.
>> I DON'T EITHER.
>> YOU'RE PREGNANT.
YOU HAVE TWO LITTLE ONES AND
YOU'RE RENOVATING YOUR HOME
SHE'S LIKE I'M JUST MOVING.
I WAS LIKE OH, MY GOD.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN LIKE THAT.
I'VE JUST BEEN LIKE EVERYTHING'S
FINE AND IT COULD BE LIKE
SPIRALLING OUT OF CONTROL.
IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY BUT I'M
LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO
DO.
DO.
DO. >>
DO. >> THAT MEANS YOU TAKE IT IN
STRIDES AND YOU DON'T GET
STRESSED OVER IT.
>> IT IS WHAT IT IS.
>> WE WANT YOU TO WEIGH IN.
LAU LADIES.
LAU LADIES. PLEASE WEIGH