No good tree bears bad fruit,
nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.
People do not pick figs from thorn bushes,
or grapes from briers.
The good man brings good things
out of the good stored up in his heart,
and the evil man brings evil
out of the evil stored up in his heart.
For out of the overflow of this heart
his mouth speaks.
Now, let me give you the helicopter view
of this important passage of scripture.
Here it is.
Jesus is saying
that your words and behavior wife
and your words and behavior husband
are more formed, shaped, caused, directed
by what's inside of you
than what's outside of you.
Your words and behavior
are more caused by what's inside of you
than what's outside of you.
Now, no one believes that.
I'm counseling, let's say, a couple that has an angry,
tense, conflictual marriage
and I asked the husband what's wrong with this marriage.
Who do you think he's going to talk about?
He's not going to talk about himself;
he's going to talk about his wife
because he's convinced that the things he's doing
are caused by her.
And if I asked the wife what's wrong with their marriage,
she's not going to talk about herself;
she's going to talk about her husband.
Now, at that point,
as a counselor, I'm out of a job.
Do you understand why?
Because there are no seekers in the room.
The husband is only there to get his wife fixed.
The wife is only there to get her husband fixed.
No one actually wants my help.
How can you have two utterly righteous people
and a messed up marriage?
What's up with that?
That didn't make any sense!
Hear this radical truth.
This is the place we got to have to start.
Wives, look at me.
I mean it.
Your husband is never the cause
of what you do and say.
He may be the occasion
but he's not the cause.
Husbands, look at me.
Your wife is never the cause
of what you do and say.
She may be the occasion
but she's not the cause.
Enough of the blame game!
Enough of keeping list!
Enough of pointing fingers!
It does not work!
Now, to help us understand
what he's talking about,
Jesus says, "Don't you understand
you live out of the heart,
you speak out of the heart."
Now, what is he talking about there?
What is this thing, the heart,
that He's talking about?
Well, the bible essentially divides the human being
into two pieces:
your outer man and your inner man.
Your outer man is your physical self.
It's the house that God has designed for your heart
while you're here on earth.
Like astronauts have a space suit,
you could call your body your earth suit.
Someday, we're going to get a new suit.
And some of us are excited about that.
I think I heard some amens.
And then the bible talks about the inner man.
It uses many terms for the inner man,
mind, emotions, spirits, soul, will,
and they're all collected by weighing one big basket term,
the term "heart."
That term is used in
hundreds and hundreds of passage of scripture.
It's one of the most well-developed themes
in all of the bible.
I am convinced you cannot understand
the message of the bible
unless you understand the bible's theology of the heart.
Now, I want to give you a definition
so when you're reading your bible,
you come across the word "heart",
you will know what the bible is talking about.
Here's a definition.
The heart is the causal core of your personhood.
The heart is the steering wheel.
The heart is the directional system.
The heart shepherds, guides, shapes, motivates
your words and behavior.
Now, to help us to understand
that principle and its importance,
Jesus uses two very helpful illustrations.
The first is your talk.
Jesus says,
"It's out of the heart that the mouth speaks."
Have you ever said to someone,
"Oh, I didn't mean to say that"?
What would be more biblical to say is,
"Please forgive me for saying what I meant."
You get the point?
You see, if it hadn't been in your heart,
it wouldn't have come out of your sweet lips.
Everything - wives - that comes out of your mouth
was there already.
Everything - husbands - that comes out of your mouth
was there already.