- And now next, our natural next guest, Zach.
- Hi.
Overshot that a little bit.
Hey Hannah.
- Hey Zach!
- It's so lovely to be here.
I've dreamt about this kitchen for years and
it's exactly what I thought it would look like.
- Really?
- No, it's different, you moved.
- I did. (laughs)
Zach, everyone's getting a chance to do this.
Give me your best boo-boop, baby.
- Boo-Boop
(cap hits the floor)
- Execution, man.
- I feel like your boo-boop's all about the energy.
You crash through a room like...
- Oh my God.
Give me your best boo-boop.
- Boo-Boop
- Ooh
Okay, out of the two boo-boops I've seen, it's pretty good.
- Not much competition.
I'll take a little bit.
- Zach...
- I'm a lightweight I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not.
So I was trying to pay attention during Ned's but
oh my God what just happened?
- We don't need this.
- [Keith] Oh my God, Ned!
- So, first and foremost, cheers.
Zach I have to say that you are so small and cute.
I think I have this jacket.
- You know I actually loaned this to your girlfriend
once for an event.
- Ha! What a disturbing intimacy.
- Yeah she may have worn this when
you guys came home together.
(glass shattering)
- You know once I saw this video on the internet
it was called "Why aren't we dating?"
So I don't know when or where that was made.
So I thought like maybe a couple months in.
- I've known your girlfriend for so long.
We went to college together,
we knew each other after college.
She got me my job.
- I hope that's the only kind.
- [Try Guys] Whoa!
- Guys it's a spicy show!
- We've always gotten along.
- You and me?
- Yeah.
Don't worry.
- You've been waiting to get me on camera to be like
"Hey you want to date with my (bleep) girlfriend?"
- [Keith] Oh shit, Elle is back!
- Hello!
I know that you have quite a handful of food allergies.
- It's like what can I eat, is the real question.
Can't eat dairy.
Red peppers just like rushes through me, flowing through.
Beets, randomly, feels like a little man is just
stabbing me in the stomach.
- Really?
- Mhmm.
- Wait a minute am I allergic to beets?
Are you Ashkenazi?
- Yes.
- Oh my God.
- We're a resilient but weak people.
- My stomach often is in pain.
- Yes, do you eat cheese?
- I eat all sorts of things, yeah.
But it's like I have a knife in my body periodically,
every day.
- How 'bout the poops?
- The boobs?
- The poops. - Well you know, give or take.
- Not good.
- I know, not great.
- You know we don't talk about how we poop.
If I can use this platform for a moment,
you don't realize your poops aren't normal until
you stop and think about it.
You shouldn't be in pain when you poop every single day.
Pay attention to what you're eating.
- So how did you figure this stuff out?
- I did a lot of blood tests, I had to do a ton of
elimination diets.
So I had a month where I just couldn't eat anything.
I'm talking like, couldn't eat chicken, couldn't eat eggs,
couldn't eat soy, couldn't eat dairy, couldn't eat nuts.
Like only specific types of nuts.
It was like every single food in the world I couldn't eat.
And then I slowly reintroduced them.
And then any time one of them made me feel like I wanted to
curl over and die like oh that one I can't eat.
- What a brave journey you've taken.
- It's really...
- Good for you!
Do you feel like you have more life in you now that
you don't hurt every day?
- Yeah cutting out dairy has been
one of the best things I've ever done.
So let's make a four layer pizza
so I have no choice but to eat the dairy.
- Well you do always have a choice.
I don't want you to hurt.
- I wasn't comforted until you put both your hands
on my hand and I'm like yeah, she's taking care of me.
- I could..yeah.. I take care.
There it is.
So, pizza sauce, will it kill you?
- Uh no, pizza sauce I can do.
- Great love it.
- Just lather it on.
Oh I should tell you, I am the worst cook ever.
I don't cook anything.
- You know I do recall a certain video about bread.
- Yeah, oh you ate it.
- Let's take a look via this card.
- I'm so sorry about that by the way.
What's happening here?
Did you forget some PAM spray?
- No I forgot nothing.
Here's what I found in pizza cake making.
Take the bottom part that you have ripped
from the parchment paper.
See how this is textured?
And flip it over so effectively you're using
the top of the bagel as the bottom.
- Aesthetics are important.
- Mhmm.
- May I?
- Yeah.
Uh I love it.
Okay so next we do pizza sauce.
Put a little bit right there.
See, grab the spoon.
Take this spoon.
- ♪ Oh my love, my darling ♪
That was good.
- ♪ I hunger for our lunch that won't hurt my stomach ♪
- 70% of my time with Hannah is spent at Karoke.
Like it's actually weird to see you without a microphone.
- I agree.
Also, there's one right there.
This is a video for the internet.
Okay, I love it, I love what you're doing with the pizza.
The style, I love the spread, it's good it's good it's good.
- I've got a low bar set and I am going to hop it.
- I have to say Zach, that for someone who has
so many severe allergies...
- No one can stop me.
- You're not a wet blanket at all.
It's like oh my God what an unexpected delight.
You have significantly improved my evening.
- Thank you.
- Yes, own that dude!
Do you know how many people out there are like,
"Hey everybody here's my discomfort."
- Tons
- Countless
Cheers to you man, for always thinking about the group.
- A toast to the group. - A toast to the group.
And also to your...
- Feeble body. - May it live and prosper.
- May it continue to putter along.
- No, no, live and prosper.
Look I am 5'3",
I always say 5'4"
but I'm 5'3"
- Holy shit is this a My Drunk Kitchen exclusive?
- Yeah it is a My Drunk Kitchen exclusive.
- Are we Oprahing this shit?
- I'm 120 pounds. - I'm down to cry, I love it.
It's Friday night, let's cry.
- I'm small but you know what?
I've got big dreams.
- I kind of miss Ned's hurricane energy.
- Meow
- I kind of want...
- What's the next ingredient you crave?
Turkey pepperoni?
- I love turkey pepperoni.
I want to say this on the record, turkeys are dumb.
We should eat all of them.
Because they're dumber than other animals
and they're delicious.
Take a wooden turkey head, just a head and levitate it.
And male turkeys will try to (bleep) the invisible turkey.
Let's eat them all.
- [Keith] Yeah... I've been there.
- Dude that's why... (laughs)
Sadly, there's no broccoli.
- There's broccoli right here.
- Just kidding.
Okay let's rinse it, so here you can grab...
- Do we have to wash it? I love the taste of...
- [Keith] Ants
- E-coli?
- E-coli (laughs)
- Broccoli!
- What a cute colander.
It's like a little sunflower.
You know I was going to apologize for Ned but
now I feel like I gotta apologize for myself.
- You know we all feel that way after My Drunk Kitchen.
That's the joy and the terror
- Broccoli
I got these little dumb broccoli poops all over my hand
- That's okay.
- ♪ Oh my love ♪
- Our second Ghost reference
- Like and subscribe
- Say it again.
- Like and subscribe
- You know we're both Youtubers let me level with you
- Yeah
- You been doing polls on your videos?
- I don't know what those are.
- You don't know what those are?
Do you?
Okay, turkey pepperoni, that is beautiful and very different
I noticed you don't have any funfetti on it which is great
- You know I'm trying to add some health into here.
I'm trying to be conscious.
I know my friends have a big day tomorrow
So, turkey, better base broccoli.
You gotta get those (fart) farts out.
Nutrition, important.
- Poo poo
- I didn't wash my hands, we wash our hands before we cook?
- Yes
- [Keith] Nobody has so far!
- I have.
- [Keith] Well, we haven't.
- Ughh.
Here use this.
(grunts)
It's pooping.
Maybe less guttural.
I think we got it!
Unexpectedly sensual.
Yeah, good job buddy.
Good job good job, very good very good.
Keith.
- That's me, I'm Keith.
- Okay, we should adjust.
- What do we need to adjust for?
- Just zoom it out.
Anyone?