♪ I'm never gonna ♪
Is there anything breakable in this box? ♪ change the password to my Netflix ♪
- No.
*box drops loudly*
Let's go finish unloading the car.
- I'm Beth! Nice to meet you!
♪♪
You're upset and I-
We cleaned every-
SARAH: Huh.
SARAH: Hmph.
I've been looking everywhere for this and you're an angel for finding it...?
Here's what's going to happen:
You're both going to take a real good look around this room and make sure that
there is not a trace left of your movie nights for her to find.
And then,
you're going to help me bring her stuff in
so that she feels welcome and stays forever and
makes rent low enough so that maybe some day I can afford Janelle Monáe tickets!
Are we all on the same page?
Great! Awesome!
You're the best!
And this goes without saying but just in case,
do better!
You really gotta read the room, dude.
You really gotta read the room, dude. *opens chapstick*
♪♪
JILL: Oh! Can I help at all?
Uhm, no. I think we got it.
JILL: Are you sure?
CHLOE: You have Magic Mike on blu-ray?
CHLOE: We're gonna get along just fine.
TAYLOR: Just the second one.
CHLOE: Yeah, the only one that matters.
♪♪ melancholy music ♪♪
♪♪
BETH: Hey.
I didn't mean to scare you.
You didn't.
I'm gonna hit the road. Walk me out?
Yeah.
♪♪ melancholy music ♪♪
BETH: How are you holding up?
- I'm fine.
- It's okay if you're not.
Breakups are hard.
Especially with...
...your situation.
I said I'm fine.
I promise.
Are you sure?
Our offer still stands, Taylor.
There's plenty of space in the guest room
and you'd know you're with loved ones that understand you.
I - I just...
I'm not sure the people here are-
- As mentally and emotionally accomodating as you are?
I'm just saying...
*Sighs* Look,
I really appreciate everything you've done for me.
But you're always telling me to get out of my comfort zone
and right now, that's living in a new place,
with new people.
It's gonna be great.
- Well, I hope you know how proud I am of you.
I mean...
this is a huge change in your life
and you don't even seem worried or - - Okay, yeah...
I'm good.
I'm great.
- Well, I'm always just a phone call away. Okay?
Let me know if you need anything.
I know. I promise.
- Heavy door.
*door closes*
*sigh*
♪ calm music ♪
*knock knock knock knock *
What?
- Hey!
Um, I'm Jill!
I'm guessing you're Taylor,
unless there's been a mixup and you're the wrong house!
Ha!
That was a joke.
Of course you're Taylor and you're in the right house.
Um, do you want to figure out bathroom stuff?
- You don't go in when I'm in there and I don't go in when you're in there?
- That works.
You okay?
- Yes.
You sure?
How about if I'm suddenly not okay, you'll be the first to know?!
Great!
Great.
*slow heartbeats*
*slow heartbeats* *low frequency tone*
*faster heartbeats* *low and high frequency tones*
*rapid heartbeats* *low and high frequency tones*
*slowing heartbeat*
*exhales*
♪♪
*pop*
CHLOE: (whispers) Hot, hot, ow.
Let me have a bite.
- You have food.
- It's too hot and I'm starving.
Mm! I was thinking about movie night later tonight and I was thinking we
could do Magic Mike?
JILL: The blu-ray player doesn't work.
- I'm off early today. I'll go to the mall and see if they can fix it.
- You know that means you'll have to interact with actual human sales people, right?
- I think you underestimate how far I'll go for Channing Tatum.
Gimme one more.
Ah!
*loud knocks on window*
*front door opens*
CHLOE: They're fam. Totally harmless.
JILL: But like not actually related.
- Yeah, I think I got that.
CHLOE: Hi! OLIVER: Hey! JILL: Hey!
OLIVER: You must be Taylor!
TAYLOR: Yeah.
- I'm Oliver.
Ollie, once we're best friends.
MATT: Where's Sarah?
JILL: Their room.
MATT: Who's room?
- Their room.
- I thought you guys all had singles.
CHLOE: We do.
- So who's Sarah with?
- Nobody.
MATT: Yeah but who's room is she in?
- THEY are in THEIR room.
- Who is THEY?
TAYLOR: Sarah is "they" and not "she"
and Sarah is alone in Sarah's room.
They, them, theirs. Pronouns, dude. It's not that hard.
- I know.
OLIVER: I see you've met Matt.
My less woke but always trying roommate.
- I am not a morning person
but I don't know why you keep bringing that up.
- You clearly need this more than I do.
- Thank you.
SARAH: Morning everyone!
JILL: Morning! OLIVER: Hey!
- Sorry I am late.
Uhh, guest of honor, no homework required.
Now who is ready to help me
with this New Year's shit?
CHLOE: Me! I would like alcohol. I require alcohol.
- Not wrong yet also,
not helping.
- I object.
I'm gonna make such a good lawyer.
- Uh huh.
SARAH: Any specific requests?
Some...
"fuck yeah I just moved into an awesome place with some awesome people
let's get wasted" champagne, perhaps?
- Anything you guys want.
- Champagne it is!
- And how many different kinds of brownies are you aiming for?
- OK, try your absolute hardest to limit yourself to three.
- Five.
- Four.
- Deal.
- Hold him to that, please.
- Aye, aye cap'n.
- Team Chill.
- Tall people duty! - Tall people duty!
- Any decoration above my head is your responsibility.
I will be taking over groceries and music.
- Um...is there anything I can do?
- No, we got it.
- Anyone else?
Alrighty then. Meeting adjourned.
- I think you grabbed my shirt out of the laundry again,
this one smells like you -
Um! It reeks of coffee!
- Do you want to switch real quick?
- No! No. That's fine. Just keep it.
Let's g- go.
We're gonna be late.
- Whatever you say, babe.
SARAH: (quietly) Gross...
- What is going on with them?
- That is the same question
we all ask ourselves everyday.
- And are you two together?
SARAH: *snorts*
OLIVER: *chuckles*
Common misconception.
Sarah's the ace lesbian and I am the aromantic bi.
- He's the best friend in my whole universe.
- Aww. - Nothing more, nothing less.
- I don't suppose you two then, are together?
- Ew, noooo.
- What do you mean, "ew?"
- I gotta go. Bye.
- Uh uh uh.
Get back over here!
I am adorable and you know that.
*front door closes*
This is gonna be great.
You want me to look right into the camera, right, and act natural? *laughs*
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