Welcome visionaries, creators, innovators, leaders, entrepreneurs and growth seekers
of all types to the passion struck Podcast. I am John Miles Peak Performance coach, multi
industry CEO, Navy veteran and entrepreneur on a mission to make passiongo viral for millions
worldwide. And each week, I do so by sharing an inspirational message in interviewing high
achievers, from all walks of life to unlock their secrets and lessons to becoming passion
struck. The purpose of our show is to serve you the listener by giving you tips, tasks
and activities to achieve peak performance and pursue passion driven life you've always
aspired to have. Now, let the journey begin. Hi, I'm John Miles and welcome to momentum
Friday in Episode 41 of the passion struck podcast. I recently heard from a long term
friend and one of the best leaders I have ever worked for Jay Skibinski, who asked me
if I could do some episodes on two very important topics he thinks are not being addressed enough.
And that is humility and diplomacy. So I've decided I'm going to do a series on these
they will be coming out over the next few weeks. I'm going to start out today's episode
with a quote in one of my favorite from Winston Churchill who said, diplomacy is the art of
telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions. And I think
that is such a great lead in for today's discussion on the art of diplomacy. And I'm going to
start out with a short story for you. Like many people who graduate from the Naval Academy,
I was thought leadership skills and also this burning desire to take on the world. And that
served me so well as I was both in my military career and then as I started my civilian career,
but I will never forget this interview that I had with Brigitte Morel-Curran, who at that
time was a consultant with the search firm, Korn ferry, and they had been hired to do
executive assessments with all the senior leadership team in the IT group at Lowe's
home improvement. And I remember our discussion like it was yesterday, because at the end,
she gave me one of the most important lessons I had ever had at that point in time. She
said, john, what got you here isn't going to get you where you want to go. And it took
me years to understand what she was trying to tell me, which was that I needed to hone
my skills in the art of diplomacy, because diplomacy is one of the most important skills
that we can have as leaders at any level. But when I often would think about a diplomat,
what comes to my head immediately is someone who works in an embassy or a politician or
world leader, but what I've learned over time, and what I think chase kovensky wanted you
to hear about today is that diplomacy is also vital to your career and to the relationships
that you have in your life. See, diplomacy, as it's defined, is the art of advancing an
idea or cause without unnecessarily inflaming passion or creating a catastrophe. And how
often have you seen the ladder happen, both in your personal life and in your career,
it happens all the time. So this really gets down to understanding the different facets
of human nature can undermine in agreement, Stoke conflict, and not doing these with either
grace, humility or foresight, the best diplomats do everything that they can preserve the relationship
so that when they have a topic, that means the most to them, they have that groundwork
put in place so that when the time comes, the diplomats idea becomes their idea. And
that is at the heart of what diplomacy is all about.
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and let's get igniting. So let me give you four steps that you can
use to practice the art of diplomacy. First is to try to keep calm and keep an open mind.
The second is to find out all the facts as well as what is not possible before you react
to the situation at hand. The third is when communicating listen to what the other person
or people are saying, I know that this is something that has gotten me in trouble more
than once in my own career. Fourth, watch for nonverbal communication. These are things
such as body language and the tone that they're using, which can convey so much about the
message that they're trying to give you. And the reason that it's important to understand
these four steps is that diplomacy stirs esteem. And because of that, often when you're having
heated discussions, you're requesting that other party is changing in some way. It may
be you're asking them to be more open minded, less set in their convictions, but what you
need to understand is that fear is what holds us back the most. And oftentimes, what you're
seeing on that other side is fear and potentially incompetency. And that's why when I've realized
when I've had meetings with people who are expressing those fears, or that incompetency,
what you'll see oftentimes is things get heated, they'll bang their fists on the table. And
the result is that they are expressing their innermost demons to you right there, and you
need to take notice of it. Because true kindness does not mean seeming time, it means helping
those people we're likely to confront by administering a sharp, clean blow of reality, to kill off
all hope. And in doing so, the diplomat allows themselves willingly to be the target of hate,
anger, and whatever may come. That is because the diplomat is a realist, and they understand
that the other person is just projecting their fear and their pain, the diplomat is hopeful
of mutual respect and making progress. So let me end today by giving you five strategies
that you can use to deploy diplomacy in your career in your life. First, and probably the
most important is Think before you speak. The second is make sure you choose your words
wisely. Words can cut in so many ways. And it's vital that you use them and think about
what you're going to say before you use them heard or watch your body language. Just as
you're watching. There's more than never react emotionally and fit instead of going on the
offensive, which we are so inclined to do pull back and think about the deeper issue.
Think about it for a small loss today, and in a huge victory over time. I hope that today's
episode unpacks one of the lessons that Jay wanted me to get out there, and I hope that
you will share this with like minded friends. And if you really like it, please give it
a five star rating on iTunes and subscribe to our YouTube channel and check out our models.
Remember, make the choice to work our step into your sharp edges.
Thank you so much for joining us. The purpose of our show is to make passion go viral. And
we do that by sharing with you the knowledge and skills that you need to unlock your hidden
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make a choice work hard and step into your sharp edges. Thank you again for joining us.