- WELCOME BACK, GREG KINNEAR.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH, ELLEN DEGENERES.
- IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY TIME YOU ARE HERE,
YOU'VE HAD ANOTHER CHILD.
IS THAT THE CASE?
- YEAH, UH...
NO, I--NOT THIS WEEK, NO.
- NO? [laughter]
THIS EPISODE OF "ELLEN" DOES NOT PROCEED A KINNEAR CHILD.
NO. - NO?
WILL THERE BE ANOTHER CHILD?
- I THINK--I THINK NO, WE'RE DONE WITH THAT.
- 'CAUSE YOU HAVE THREE.
- I HAVE THREE.
YES, I HAVE THREE. - THEY ARE HOW OLD?
- THEY ARE FOUR, EIGHT--
FOUR, SEVEN, AND TEN.
BE NICE TO KNOW THEIR AGES, RIGHT?
- YEAH, YOU HAVE PLENTY--
IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THREE, DON'T HAVE ANOTHER ONE.
BUT IT'S HARD, 'CAUSE THEY CHANGE EVERY YEAR,
SO IT'S HARD TO KEEP COUNT ON WHAT THEIR AGE IS.
- YOU THINK YOU'RE JOKING,
BUT HONESTLY, AS SOON AS I GET THE NUMBERS DOWN,
THE DIGITS RESET THEMSELVES.
- I UNDERSTAND. I UNDERSTAND.
AND YOU TALKED ABOUT--
THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, SOME KIND OF SAFETY GAME.
IS THAT--WHAT IS THAT, AND DO YOU STILL DO IT?
- SAFETY GAME? NO, NO.
WE DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE.
THAT WAS A HORRIBLE GAME.
WELL, YOU TRY TO FIND-- WHEN YOU HAVE A MIX LIKE THAT,
AS MANY DIFFERENT SORT OF DISTRACTIONS AS YOU CAN.
SO WE'VE MOVED ON FROM THAT.
WE DO--WE DO A LITTLE SIMON SAYS NOW.
- THAT'S A GOOD GAME.
- IT IS A GOOD GAME.
BY THE WAY, THAT'S-- YOU DID THAT HEADS UP! APP,
WHICH IS SO HUGE BY THE WAY.
AND BY THE WAY, IF I GIVE YOU THIS,
I WANT IN ON THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SIMON SAYS APP.
- WE SHOULD DO A SIMON SAYS APP. - YOU WANT TO DO IT?
- YEAH, CAN WE-- WE SHOULD TRY.
- I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- WELL, LET US FIGURE THAT OUT.
- OKAY, SO THE SIMON SAYS GAME IS, YOU KNOW, IT'S--
OBVIOUSLY, AS YOU KNOW, YOU JUST--
YOU COULD DO IT SITTING RIGHT HERE.
I COULD SAY "SIMON SAYS DO THIS."
AND-- - DO YOU WANT ME TO PLAY?
- YOU'RE NOT DOING IT.
OH, I HAD TO ASK FIRST.
YES, I WANT YOU TO PLAY. - OKAY.
[laughter]
SIMON SAYS DO THIS.
DO THIS.
OKAY, DON'T DO THIS. DON'T DO THIS.
THAT'S VERY GOOD. SHE'S VERY GOOD.
THAT'S AS GOOD AS I'VE EVER SEEN.
[cheers and applause] OKAY, OKAY.
THAT'S JUST A STARTING POINT.
STAND UP, STAND UP.
SIMON DID NOT TELL YOU TO STAND UP.
- AHH! [laughter]
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- I THOUGHT THE GAME WAS OVER. THAT'S CHEATING.
- WE'LL PUT THAT ON THE APP.
WE'RE GONNA MAKE A FORTUNE, YOU AND ME.
- YOU WERE CHEATING, BUT THAT'S A--
BUT I CAN SEE IF WE GET PEOPLE TO--
IF WE CAN CHEAT, WE'LL GET THE PEOPLE TO PLAY.
- THAT'S NOT CHEATING. WE WERE PLAYING.
- NO, BUT IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS OVER.
IT SEEMED LIKE, "OKAY, LET'S"--
THAT'S PART OF THE TRICK. both: I KNOW.
- LISTEN, NOT EVERYBODY'S CRAZY ABOUT IT.
MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD DOESN'T LIKE
WHEN I DO THAT NUMBER ON HER EITHER.
- YEAH, YEAH, FOUR-YEAR-OLDS DON'T LIKE TO GET TRICKED.
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND SARCASM OR ANYTHING YET.
I HAVE A NIECE WHO'S FOUR, AND IT'S JUST--
SHE JUST STARES AT ME SOMETIMES, AND I'M LIKE, "I AM FUNNY."
- YEAH. [laughter]
SO WHERE-- I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE THE FAMILY ON A VACATION TO GREECE?
- YEAH, WE'RE GONNA GO TO-- I GREW UP AS A KID,
I WAS IN FOR ABOUT SIX OR SEVEN YEARS, IN ATHENS.
MY DAD WORKED WITH THE EMBASSY WHEN I WAS A KID.
I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL THERE, I GRADUATED THERE.
SO I HAVEN'T BROUGHT THE WHOLE GANG BACK.
SO WE'RE ALL GONNA GO THERE THIS SUMMER.
- DO THEY WANT TO GO? ARE THEY EXCITED ABOUT THAT?
- UH...THEY'RE GOING. - UH-HUH.
[laughter] - MAKE NO MISTAKE.
NO, I THINK THEY ARE.
YEAH, I THINK IT'LL BE PRETTY COOL.
I TAKE 'EM BACK AND SHOW 'EM, YOU KNOW, MY OLD SCHOOL
AND KIND OF TOOL AROUND ATHENS A LITTLE BIT.
AND MAYBE SHOW 'EM THE OLD SOCCER FIELD
WHERE I USED TO PLAY SOCCER.
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A GREAT TRIP, DOES IT?
- NO-- [laughter]
YOU SPEAK GREEK, RIGHT?
- [speaking Greek]
[bleep]. [speaking Greek]
[bleep].
[laughter]
DON'T PUT THOSE LAST WORDS IN THERE.
I PUT IN REALLY BAD WORDS.
I DON'T KNOW THAT MANY WORDS IN GREEK,
SO I BASICALLY JUST BUNCH A FEW OF 'EM TOGETHER.
AND YOU SHOULD BEEP OUT THOSE LAST WORDS
BEFORE YOU BROADCAST THOSE. - ALL RIGHT.
WE WILL BLEEP THEM OUT.
- ANY GREEKS?
- NO, BECAUSE NO ONE WAS RESPONDING AT ALL.
[laughter]