Gregory and Melanie Magazu have three kids, including a newborn,
and they want to adopt even more.
They think that if they're able to provide a home for foster children,
then that is something they just have to do.
And how awesome is that? I mean, you have to admire any couple
willing to open up their home to complete strangers.
I mean, for life!
Not just temporarily. That's--
That's kind of incredible that they're willing to do that.
And yet the state of Massachusetts
is saying that the Magazus
can't have any foster children.
And the Magazus are saying
that the state is discriminating against them
because of their Christian faith.
So, what the hell is going on?
The issue revolves around the couple's belief
that they should be allowed to hit their kids.
They believe in Proverbs 13:24,
the verse that basically says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child".
They think spanking is the best way to correct children when they do something wrong.
And when a state-appointed social worker heard that, she said
the Magazus can't have any foster children.
A lot of these kids come from abusive homes
and the last thing they need is to be around that sort of violence even more.
Now, the Magazus, like a lot of parents, say:
"We're not hitting our kids; we're not abusing our kids,
we're just spanking them".
As if there's a difference.
And they say they do it out of love,
because apparently if you hit someone with love, it hurts less.
Now, if you were ever spanked, or you know someone who was spanked as a child,
I'm guessing your reaction when that happened wasn't,
"Thank you sir. May I have another?"
No, no! It was probably more like,
"I hate my parents".
"This is a horrible thing, this hurts. I don't want anything to do with them."
"I want to avoid them."
Why would anyone ever teach a child that love and pain
go together?
If your kids aren't old enough to reason with you,
then they're not old enough to spank.
And if they are old enough to reason with you,
then go reason with them.
There's only one instance I can think of, where spanking might be okay,
and I promise you raising a child has nothing to do with it.
The Magazus even compromised.
They said: "We'll only hit our biological children, not any foster children that we take in".
But the state still said: No.
And they were right to do that, because they said: "We don't want these foster kids even being around abuse".
And this case is still going on. I mean, very recently
they argued in front of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court.
So, we will find out soon enough whether or not the Magazus will be allowed to adopt foster children.
And I have to say,
it would be really disturbing
if the Court said yes.
Now, I know I'm not a parent yet,
but I don't understand the mindset of anybody who believes hitting your kid is the best way to discipline them.
I mean, how do you spank a child and then try to teach them that violence is not the answer?
A lot of this thinking comes from a classic book in the fundamentalist Christian world
called "To train up a child", by Michael and Debbie Pearl.
And I would actually encourage you to check out the book if you can, so you can see for yourself just how horrible it is.
I mean, the authors even specify
that parents should get a 1/4 inch plumbing tube
in order to hit their kids.
Early editions of the book even talked about how you should hit a crying infant.
As if a baby is crying just to spite you.
And later editions of the book just changed that to not talk about an infant,
but to talk about a child,
as if that's any better.
There have been kids who have died,
because their parents
followed the Pearl's advice.
And every time that happens, by the way, the media always ask the Pearls like, "Yeah, this is because of you",
and the Pearls always say, "No, no this is not what we were advocating, we believe in spanking,
not killing".
You know, "We believe in
some abuse, not a lot of abuse".
Again, I'm not a parenting expert, I admit that,
but if you have to hit your kids in order to teach them a lesson,
you suck as a parent.
This is not, by the way, a condemnation of religion.
And that's an important point, because it's the one the state of Massachusetts is trying to make.
They don't care about the Magazu's religion.
If an atheist couple said: "We hit our kids, too",
they wouldn't be allowed to adopt foster children either.
This is not religious discrimination.
This is just a rejection of shitty parents.
Or at the very least, a rejection of parents who do this one really shitty thing.
There are a lot of wonderful Christian parents out there who don't hit their kids.
And honestly, I don't even care about their faith if they're willing to adopt kids.
I would much rather have kids who are in the foster system,
adopted by Christian parents,
or gay parents,
or a single mother or father.
Any of those options are fine, because they are so much better than the alternative.
But I get why parents who spank their kids are taken off the list.
That's the best thing for these foster children.
The state doesn't have the power to stop parents from spanking their own kids
within some reason,
but they do have the ability to make sure foster kids are not put in homes
where abuse,
whether it's faith-based, or not,
is tolerated.
I don't care if the Magazus think their heart is in the right place.
Their hands are not.
And that's all that matters.
My name is Hemant Mehta, and I write at FriendlyAtheist.com
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