🎵
(Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)
Boomstick: As the old saying goes, "Behind every great man, is a badass woman with a big hammer", something like that.
Wiz: And today's combatants are exactly that, what could go wrong?
Boomstick: Amy Rose, Sonic the Hedgehog's number one fangirl.
Wiz: And Ramona Flowers, the girl of Scott Pilgrim's dreams.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor & skills to find out who will win... a DEATH BATTLE!
(Cues: Stardust Speedway Bad Future - Sonic CD)
Wiz: When young Amy Rose first heard of the adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, she became immediately obsessed.
Boomstick: But while most rabid fangirls would stalk him online or build a shrine in their closet, Amy dialed her crazy up to 11!
Wiz: I guess you could say she was: hooked on Sonics?
Uhh?
Boomstick: Ugh (gags). You made me throw up in my mouth a little bit that was so bad!
Wiz: Well determined to meet her hero face to face, Amy decided the best option was to learn how to read tarot cards...
Of course.
Boomstick: Hey the lady at the fair never let me down.
Wiz: After lots of practice one reading finally predicted she would meet The Blue Blur on the mysterious Little Planet.
Boomstick: And she did meet him! Well, after she was kidnapped by the evil Dr. Eggman, and used as bait to lure Sonic into a trap, but hey, first impressions aren't everything, right?
Wiz: God knows that's true, or we certainly wouldn't be working together.
Boomstick: What? So I forgot my pants on my first day, it happens to us all!
Wiz: No it doesn't, anyway meeting Sonic wasn't enough for Amy.
Despite her young age and inexperience she made it her personal mission to become a part of his freedom fighting crew.
Boomstick: So Amy spent some time building a badass skill set to convince her hasty hedgehog hero she'd be a valuable team member, and girlfriend!
Wiz: It actually wouldn't take long, by running after Sonic, her sheer will and determination let her reach the super speeds she needed to chase him down.
Boomstick: That's terrifying.
Wiz: Keep in mind, Sonic's casual speed sits at about 765 miles per hour.
Boomstick: That's extra terrifying.
Wiz: Tell me about it, apparently she tapped into her "innate hedgehog speed gene", which is a thing.
Where the hell they got this, I have no clue, I mean, have you seen real hedgehogs run? They're not all that fast.
Boomstick: Apart from being quick on her feet, Amy can target specific enemies with a homing attack, charge up speed with Spin Dash, and even turn herself invisible.
Wiz: Right, by concentrating her energy, Amy can somehow cloak her entire body from view.
Boomstick: She's obsessive, fast, and can turn herself invisible, it's like the Sonic gods made the ultimate stalker.
Wiz: Well, she still hasn't learned how to hide her shadow.
Boomstick: That might be even scarier, but what really gives Amy an edge is her signature weapon, the Piko Piko Hammer.
God, that's a dumb name.
Wiz: It's actually based on the Japanese children's toy of the same name.
Boomstick: Yeah, well this weapon would be totally stupid....if it didn't create tornados!
Wiz: That's right, it can create a pink vortex to throw at Amy's enemies.
She can also use the Piko Piko Hammer to double jump or spin through the air like a helicopter, and if she loses it, she can somehow magically summon a new one out of thin air.
Boomstick: Really think you're moving on too fast from the whole tornado thing, Wiz.
Tornadoes!
From the hammer!
Hamnado!
Wiz: After all was said and done, Amy became good enough to join Sonic's squad, becoming a valuable member of the team.
Boomstick: She's strong enough to match the power of a 25 foot tall metal machine, she dazed the Iron King, a guy who could take laser fire from an army, and once threw her hammer hundreds of feet into the air to knock Dr. Eggman's ship out of flight.
Wiz: She's survived a one on one match against Knuckles, where she was crushed by a boulder over twice her size.
Boomstick: And even more impressively, she once wiped out half of a robotic invading force, all on her own!
Wiz: She may be powerful, but she still has some growing up to do.
Boomstick: Amy is a...tween girl, she's pretty immature sometimes, rushing into action without thinking.
Wiz: Like when she was mind controlled by Justin Beaver.
Boomstick: Justin...Beaver....really?
Wiz: Yep, he's a beaver who mind controls girls through the power of repetitive and uninspired music.
Boomstick: Jesus...
Wiz: But the most important thing to take away from all of this, is that once Amy Rose sets her mind to something, she will get it done, no matter what.
Amy: Keep your rotten robots away from my Sonic, or your gonna be sorry!
Wiz: When Ramona Flowers first saw Scott Pilgrim she was immediately... unimpressed.
Boomstick: She just wanted to do your own thing delivering packages for amazon canada, but Scott couldn't get her out of his mind.
Wiz: Literally in his mind which is weird.
Ramona: It's not weird at all.
Scott: It's not?
Ramona: There's just, this really convenient subspace highway right here that I like to use.
It's like three miles in fifteen seconds.
Scott: Right, right...
Wiz: Yeah ok, anyway Scott somehow somehow managed to charm her into giving him a chance.
But there was just one little, somewhat dangerous catch to it all.
Boomstick: You see, if Scott wanted to land his Pilgrims at vagina rock, he had to battle and defeat Ramona's seven evil exes.
Ah, screw that, that's WAY too much work! I don't care how hot she is, find a new one.
Wiz: Luckily for Scott, he didn't have to fight them all alone, as Ramona isn't your typical damsel in distress.
Boomstick: Yeah, she's a badass! She's strong, tough, and damn good on a pair of roller blades.
Wiz: She's also proficient in numerous types of weapons, from mallets to swords, and carries multiple on her person at all times, such as her titanium baseball bat.
Boomstick: And her giant hammer. It might look plain to you, but when Ramona wields this sledge, even Gundam robots fall to pieces.
Wiz: It also gives her a +2 bonus against girls.
Boomstick: That...doesn't sound very impressive.
Wiz: Sure, it's a tiny number, but in context, all power-ups in Scott Pilgrim's world use small numbers for big changes, so it's actually not half-bad.
Boomstick: Well, either way, somehow she keeps all her weapons in her purse. How the hell do women do that?
Wiz: That's not just any purse, Boomstick, it's her subspace suitcase, it may seem like an ordinary bag, but it's actually a door to an extradimensional hammerspace.
Boomstick: Kay.
Wiz: This subspace is a series of pocket dimensions available to certain people through extradimensional doorways.
Boomstick: Dimension in a bag, got it.
Wiz: It's more of a doorway, and the dimension it leads to exists inside Ramona's head, she can even control this particular pocket of space with her emotions.
Boomstick: Jesus, what the hell were these writers on?
Wiz: Heroine, and by that, I mean a strong, female protagonist! Hey-yo!
Boomstick: What's with you today?!
Wiz: Ahem, without Ramona's skills and weaponry, Scott likely would've never succeeded in defeating the evil exes
Boomstick: Like when she fought Roxie, her ex from her...sexy phase.
Roxie is strong enough to knock Scott so hard, he smashed several steel I-beams, which would need at least 3,000 pounds of force, and Ramona's taking hits and sexing up this super powered chick no problem.
Wiz: She's also got many years of experience under her belt, even when she was just around twelve years old, she could fight off an entire army of older jocks all at once.
Boomstick: She's strong enough to send people flying dozens of feet through the air with a smack of her hammer, and she's so fast and nimble on her roller blades, she can keep up with ninjas! Man, this chick's got it all!
Wiz: Don't get too starry-eyed just yet, though, Ramona has her fair share of problems.
For example, the only reason Ramona has so much control over her subspace in the first place, is because one of her exes infected her with the Glow.
Boomstick: Ah, the Glow, huh? That's a rough one, I've got it too.
Wiz: Wait, really? You have an energy field which turns your own emotions against you?
Boomstick: Uh...yeah, yeah! That's what I have! On a completely unrelated note, Wiz, how long should one's genitals normally...um...glow in the dark?
Wiz: Exactly zero seconds.
Boomstick: Okay, well, it's a good thing I don't have that problem then, but roller coasters of emotions aside, Ramona is one hell of an ass kicking girlfriend any man would be lucky to get with.
Wiz: I think you need a doctor.
Ramona: Well then, Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here, cause I'm about to kick yours out of the great white north!
(Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: All right the combatants are set!
Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: But first if you're one of those people who eats food then i have some great information for you tell 'em Wiz.
Wiz: You know how it is.
Researching characters making them fight to the death is time consuming.I don't have time to go to the store or make my own meals.
But i also don't wanna doom my existence the fast-food sugar addiction.
Thankfully Blue Apron changed all of that.For less than 10 dollars a meal, Blue Apron sends me seasonal recipes with proportion ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals.
Each meal comes with an easy step by step recipe which can be prepared in 40 mins or less.
This chicken stir-fry only took about 20, check out this week's menu and get your first 3 meals free with free shipping by going to Blueapron.com/Battle.
See for yourself how good it feels and tastes to create impeccable home-cooked meals with Blue Apron.
That's Blueapron.com/Battle.
Boomstick: But right now... IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEE!!!!!
Announcer: FIGHT!
(Cues: Rooftop Run (Day) - Sonic Unleashed)
KO!
Boomstick: Aw, game over.
Wiz: Ramona may have been the smarter and more level headed of the two, but Amy had the edge in almost every other category.
Boomstick: Ramona can skate faster than most, but Amy's fast enough to keep up with Sonic!
To be clear, she's definitely not as fast as Sonic, but she's certainly capable of catching up to him at times.
Ramona stood no chance in the speed department, so she had to rely on her skill and strength, and while they both had similar strength feats,
Like defeating giant robots or whacking people a huge distance with their hammers, Amy's feats go several steps beyond anything of Ramona's.
Wiz: Take Amy throwing her hammer into Eggman's ship in the sky for instance, given the height of the ship in the sky and Amy's location, it's likely she had to throw her hammer at least 2,100 feet.
While her hammer's exact weight is unknown, it's head is large enough to be compared to the biggest sledgehammer ever used by man, which was 64 pounds.
In order to hit Eggman's ship as hard as she did, she must have thrown her hammer with two tons of force at bare minimum, and we're really lowballing that.
Boomstick: And that was just the first throw. The second one made the ship spin over, putting it way higher than two tons.
Ramona at her best, could take a hit from Roxie, who can dole out, at a max, up to one and a half tons of force.
Wiz: Whereas Amy survived being crushed by a boulder, which, scaled to her height, weighed at least four tons.
Boomstick: Ramona gained an advantage when she brought the fight to her...subspace purse mind....
Wiz: But when Ramona's ex, Gideon, was trapped in that subspace, he was able to escape by destroying her bag.
As Amy is stronger and faster than Ramona, there's no reason to believe she couldn't do the same, and with Ramona's last trump card out of commission, all Amy had to do was finish her off.
Boomstick: Looks like Amy rose to the occasion.
Wiz: The winner is Amy Rose.
Boomstick: NEXT TIME ONNN DEATH BATTLE!
Ben: Hulk is next and who's he gonna be fighting you can find out by sticking to our Instagram this time that's Officialscrewattack so check that out.
Chad: If you guys haven't heard we launched a whole new channel it's a totally separate edition is called: GameAttack.
You should go subscribe!
All you do is click the little thing over there.
Ben: Sounds like fun. Chad: Yeah.