Advertising products in video games isn't some new phenomenon.
In fact, video games have been trying to sell you things for decades — you just might
not have realized it.
Here are a few of the weirdest — and most manipulative — product placements in video
game history.
Battlefield 4
Way back in 2014, gamers booting up Battlefield 4 were suddenly treated to a thoughtful recommendation
courtesy of publisher EA to check out the then-upcoming Need for Speed film.
Wait — sorry — did we say "thoughtful recommendation?"
Sorry, We meant "blatant attempt at milking their fans wallets for more cashola."
Basically, EA had snuck a glorified pop-up ad into the already-troubled shooter's menu.
Needless to say, fans were not pleased.
Keep in mind, this came just a year after Consumerist voted EA the worst company in
America — and many a disgruntled gamer was not afraid to remind the gaming giant that
these dirty tactics were exactly why so many gamers had given up on them.
Darkened Skye
The cover of Boston Animation's Darkened Skye evokes a gritty fantasy action RPG complete
with a feisty Lara Croft-esque hero, a gloomy world to explore, and mysterious magic forces
to master.
Know what it doesn't evoke?
Skittles.
But, alas, everybody's favorite flamboyant cousin of the M&M plays a pretty vital part
in the painfully overdramatic — oddly philosophical — adventure title from 2002.
"What's the meaning of… me?
Who am I in this world?"
See, the creatively named Skye — that's the scowl-y woman on the cover — can only
use magic after she's collected the necessary combinations of Skittles.
The game scored lukewarm reviews, despite the incredibly goofy product placement.
Honestly, we're not sure what's more shocking: the fact that anybody played this thing, the
fact that some critics actually enjoyed it, or the fact that a boardroom full of actual
adult executives gave it the green light.
Sneak King
Remember when Burger King tried its hand at promotional video games?
PocketBike Racer and Big Bumpin', in a weird double-cross-promotion with the once-relevant
Brooke Burke, were fairly standard racing and bumper car games— something to pass
the time on a particularly boring afternoon in 2006.
But, the third game in BK's peculiar trilogy, Sneak King, is less time-killer and more,
well, person-killer.
"He appears out of nowhere.
You've always wondered: who's behind the mask?"
Sneak King is a stealth-styled game in which The King must sneak up behind people and surprise
them with Value Meals.
Burke was left out of this stealth title, presumably because Burger King didn't want
to promote the idea that the real-life Brooke Burke was some unholy Solid Snake burger Santa.
Meat-creeping is questionable as a fictional video game activity … but it's even worse
in real life.
M.C.
Kids
Of course, meat patty magnate McDonald's had already beaten Burger King to the shameless
video game tie-in punch.
Back in 1992, Virgin Interactive published M.C.
Kids, a game based on the storybook McDonaldland universe in which a couple of kids have to
reclaim Ronald's stuff from the Hamburglar yet again — because McDonaldland jail bars
are apparently just soggy french fries.
In a truly Vader-esque twist, the game's final showdown happens inside a volcano, where you
have to fight Ronald's magic bag of tricks, because, apparently, it's sentient.
And evil.
Or something.
We're not saying that George Lucas stole the script for Revenge of the Sith from M.C.
Kids, but it's definitely a conversation worth having with your prequel trilogy apologist
buddies.
As if you need any more evidence that all product-centric video game tie-ins are literally
interchangeable, chew on this McNugget of knowledge: the European port of M.C.
Kids — the creatively titled McDonald Land — was originally eventually brought to the
GameBoy.
Only, it was re-worked to fit into 7-Up's Cool Spot franchise, and it was renamed Spot:
The Cool Adventure.
Pesterminator: The Western Exterminator
It's hard to tell if Pesterminator: The Western Exterminator was a success or a failure in
video game product placement.
On one hand, a relatively small number of people would have ever heard of the Western
Exterminator Company were it not for this barely known, off-brand NES game from 1990.
On the other, even awareness of this awful game, in which you play as an avatar of the
company's mascot doesn't inspire much faith in exterminators operating out of Nevada,
Arizona, and California.
Ultimately, the rat-smashing Kernel Kleanup made a wimpy debut, but with his parent exterminator
company still going strong almost 30 years later, it's clear that no companies were harmed
in the making of this game.
The same cannot be said for the poor, poor souls subjected to its repetitive, infinitely
unchallenging gameplay.
Spot
No, we didn't forget about this rad little dude.
There was a time when you could slap a pair of kick-ass sunglasses on literally anything
and call it a mascot — even a lowly red dot.
Thus was born 7-Up's laziest mascot: Spot.
And, because old business-type men in business-type suits are some of the most creative people
on God's green Earth, Spot was given his own video game… also titled Spot.
Not only is Spot for the NES a terrible ripoff of the simpler and less annoying Othello,
but it actively made anyone who played the game hate 7-Up.
The game had nothing to do with soft drinks, or enjoyment of any kind, but was still followed
up by a couple of more marginally superior 7-Up games: Cool Spot and Spot Goes to Hollywood,
plus that whole carbon copy of McDonald Land deal from earlier.
Still, the crimson disc wasn't doing anyone any favors, and his original game from 1990
was an absolute bust.
"Want some?"