You live in Austin,
and what kind of stuff do you do?
How does, how do you plot, what is your trade?
How do you make your living? How do you get the dough?
My day job, I am a director of purchasing
for a large commercial design firm
that specializes in senior living
and multi-family communities.
Okay.
But my side hustle's a different story.
Alright, let's talk about your side hustle.
That would be a Dungeon Master, Conan.
Okay.
Ah, a Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master.
Correct. It's not a sex thing. Let's be perfectly clear.
I'm pretty sure that they cleared that up.
Oh. Oh
Well, I just lost all my enthusiasm for this.
Claws off instantly.
I know. I should've led with that.
[Conan] I swear to God.
I apologize.
I swear to God. I'm completely.
I'm just going to hang up on you now.
(laughing)_
That's to be expected. That's to be expected.
[Conan] No, ah, I'm going to be honest with you.
I've never played Dungeons and Dragons,
and I know nothing about it.
I know it's a huge thing and people take it very seriously.
And so I want you to educate me about this
Dungeons and Dragons world.
You are the dungeon master,
which means you run the games. Is that right?
Correct, I am effectively the referee and
host for a group of players who come
together and to experience a collaborative
storytelling experience.
The dungeon master is the writer,
director, producer, and every
single background character.
Ah, so you're sexually harassing everyone.
Ab-solutely.
(laughing)
Absolutely.
Wait, so.
I'm also the HR department.
So who are they going to tell?
There you go. Yeah.
It's the best scam of all.
You know, it's interesting because
I happened to know people take this
very seriously and I've heard through friends
that the actor, Joe Manganiello is....
I can speak to that personally.
Yeah, well, okay. You tell us.
Cause I've heard, he's incredibly take,
he takes this very seriously.
So seriously that I think I made one too many
jokes and wasn't asked back.
Oh no.
Right.
I don't want to tell tales out of school,
but he has a converted wine cellar
that is now a dungeon in his home,
filled with thousands of D and D figurines
like, armies massed ....
I love how you're not telling tales out of school.
(laughing)
You just completely, you just completely sold out
Joe Manganiello, who's a lovely guy,
by the way. I've met him many times.
He is very lovely.
He's a lovely guy. And he's really funny.
He's got a great sense of humor,
but he takes Dungeons and Dragons really seriously.
And I can imagine Matt,
you being there making your quips, as you do.
And trust me, I'd been on the verge of kicking you out of,
out of this enterprise many times because you're just
quipping away and chuckling over there on the corner.
So people do take it quite seriously.
And there's a lot of work that goes into
having an effective game. Is, is that correct?
Turner Coats, the third.
Absolutely. You've if, if you're,
just to build a world that you can immerse players in,
you spend a lot of time doing research and,
and players like poking fun
at the boundary of that research.
They're very, you know, they love to ask
for non-player character names on the spot
to see if you've named every third towns,
towns person that you've you've put into this small village.
This reminds me of. It's very similar to,
if you ever go to like Old Sturbridge Village,
which is about 40 miles from where I grew up
in Massachusetts,
It's one of those communities where everyone
dresses like a Pilgrim pretty much.
And they live in a little Pilgrim village.
When we were in grade school, they would take us there.
And I would walk around with my classmates and you'd go in.
Basically the illusion is that you're supposed
to be time traveling.
So there'd be a Smithy in there
and he'd be hammering away
at the shoes of the, for a horseshoe
and saying "Aye, these young folk have come,
you know, privy, have a seat."
And we were assholes.
We'd be like, "Hey, what do you think this is?"
and show him our shitty digital watch, 1980 digital watch.
What do you think this is?
And you could see the guys just eyes glaze over
and he'd, he'd go, "Oh, prithee, gadzooks,
'tis witchcraft upon ye rests, this magical."
(laughing)
And I just like these crappy kids coming in.
And that's essentially what sometimes I'm guessing people
were trying to do in a Dungeons and Dragons game,
and why Matt Gourley was kicked out.
It's very important that whenever you go
into a new group situation that you make sure
that you're playing the same game.
D&D can be deadly serious.
You can really get into the Shakespearian, Henry V
depths with it. That's not what I tend to play.
I go a lot sillier with it
because that's kind of what I enjoy. You know.
You're the authority as dungeon master to banish someone.
Absolutely.
Have you banished people?
I've asked people not to come back to the table?
Yes, I absolutely have.
I give you the authority during our conversation
to banish Matt Gourley
if you find his quips to be too inane.
I accept this boon.
Turner, I do not give you that authority.
(laughing)
Boon rescinded. Boon rescinded.
Noted. Noted. Thank you.