Santa is coming to Bikini Bottom,
and his naughty list is looking longer than usual.
We're ranking only naughty, no nice from the mere misbehavd
to the naughtiest of them all.
Number 15 on Santa's naughty list is Bubble Bass.
This fish will hide pickles under his tongue for free food
or fake an injury for free labor.
Oh! My bad back.
I guess you two will have to move everything without me.
So, I'll meet you both at this address.
But don't you have to pack your things
before we can move 'em?
[groaning]
I guess you'll have to pack my stuff, too.
But remember what gastric surprises await your mouths.
Oh, Patrick.
Bubble Bass is a scam apprentie compared to this scam artist.
This sales fish makes the list for swindling SpongeBob
and Patrick out of their money
not once, not twice, but three times.
Oh. No. [groaning]
[groaning]
[shattering]
Ow.
Quick, Patrick, let's help him.
Careful. Put him down gently.
[shattering]
Oh.
Poor, poor man.
If there's anything, anything we can do to help you-
There is one thing.
As you can well imagine,
my medical bills are extremely high,
but luckily I'm able to keep myself alive
by selling... chocolate bars.
Such nice boys.
It does my heart good to con a couple of class A suckaroonis
like those two.
[laughing]
Nobody expects Squidward to be at the top
of any nice list, but he sank to a new low
when he read SpongeBob's diary,
sharing all his interesting secrets out loud.
Get this. "If I hear the Bikini Bottom
municipal anthem,
I can't help but take off all my clothes
and dance around in my underwear."
[laughing]
Quiet, quiet, quiet. Watch this.
[music playing]
[laughing]
My diary! Squidward, how could you?
[laughing]
[crying]
[clucking]
[sobbing]
[chuckles]
That was that little dude's diary?
Oh, man, that was not cool.
That's low, Squidward, even for you.
You'd better apologize.
Pssh. He'll get over it.
Keeping with the horrible trend of humiliating others,
Squilliam Fancyson makes the naughty list
for regularly gloating about his fabulous life.
I'm living your dream, Squidward.
He never misses a chance to share his excellence
with his old pal Squiddy.
I, uh, hey, what you been up to?
Oh, just succeeding in everything
you've failed in.
You are no great shake, Squilliam Fancyson.
Anyone can be a big shot in a hick town
like Bikini Bottom.
Oh, is that so?
Let's hear what you've accomplished
since high school, Squidy.
Don't be intimidated, Squidwar.
Try to imagine him in his underwear.
Oh, no, he's hot.
Squilliam is uptight and certainly not as cool
as a cucumber, bringing us to the next name
on Santa's list, Kevin.
It's bad enough to belittle your biggest fan,
but using them as bait is next level naughty material.
Hey, Kevin, I don't think it's working.
Nothing.
Hey. Hey, Kevin, she's here. Look, look, she's here!
She's here! She's here, Kevin! She-
[gasping]
[screaming]
[panting]
Ah!
Please don't be angry, Your Highness.
I wouldn't let you go.
[crying]
[laughing]
[gasping] Kevin.
That's right.
You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you.
But, what about my final test?
[laughing]
Did you think we'd actually let you join
the Jelly Spotters?
But, Kevin, I was your biggest fan.
So were they.
Hey, look, everybody! Kevin's back!
Kevin! We love you, Kevin!
Kevin, speak!
You looked so dumb with your dorky jellyfish call.
Loser. Loser, loser, loser. Loser.
I am not a loser.
If you think that's mean,
let's move to an even worse bully.
A simple hello and Flats the Flounder is committed
to kicking some SpongeBob butt.
As you remember last week...
Hi. I'm SpongeBob.
Hi, SpongeBob.
I'm going to kick your butt.
[laughing]
That joke was almost funnier the second time.
No. I mean it.
[laughing]
That time it almost seemed like-
You did mean it.
There are no buts about it,
butt kicking does not get you on the nice list,
and neither does stealing, Mrs. Puff.
[grunting]
Stealing a potato is not not naughty,
but the real reason Mrs. Puff is on this list
is for tricking her unlicensed student
to drive without an instructor.
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
Oh, Mrs. Puff, it's been so long.
Did you miss me?
Oh. Yes, SpongeBob. I missed you so much.
It's so good to see you... from here.
Whoo! Did you get a new hat?
It really brings out all your eyes.
[laughing]
All right.
Time to focus on the road, my excellent little noodle.
Oh. I must live up to your noodle spectation.
How was that?
That was very good.
Okay, take a right here.
Now, keep going right.
Feels right to me.
[laughing]
When it comes to driving,
there is a lot of rule breaking going on in Bikini Bottom.
Sticky Fins makes the list not only for impersonating
a driving instructor, but using a student to commit
robberies all over town.
Yah ha ha ha ha!
Wow, he's driving like a psycho. Who taught him how to drive?
[chuckles nervously]
[cooing]
Good baby?
[crying]
Gasp!
I say, how's my automobile?
Simply smashing.
You're simple smashing in the thing!
[screaming]
Let's see what's on the menu.
Ooh, I'll take them.
[groaning]
Excuse me, sir,
I'm in the middle of a driving lesson!
[screaming]
Look out, you maniac!
[screaming]
You're going the wrong way! Turn this thing around!
You got it, turn it around.
[screaming]
Ooh, you're a great instructor. What now?
Just go with the flow.
There is never a doubt
that the evil Man Ray will make the naughty list.
So what's it for this time: firing lasers, robbing a bank?
Nope, he's taking spot number seven
for writing phony checks.
Oh, why did I ever bother trying to be normal?
I am Man Ray. Feel my evil wrath.
[growling]
[ringing]
Huh? Hold on. I should get this.
[ringing]
Hello?
Hello? Man Ray?
The weather changed my plans. I'm coming home.
Not to worry though,
you'll get a full refund on the rent,
so long as there's no damage to my place.
[dial tone]
Hello?
[laughing]
That idiot octopus doesn't know I gave him a phony check.
[grunting]
You were right about me, after all, dopey duo.
Evil never takes a vacation!
Ooh, definitely sounds a lot cooler when he says it.
[honking]
Ah, here's my Scuber.
Man Ray is guilty of conning to save a buck,
but there's another cheapskate who's pinching pennies.
Firing SpongeBob to save a nickel earns Mr. Krabs
plenty of naughty list points.
I'll save a whole nickel
if I cut your salary... completely.
B-B-But how about if I work for free?
Yeah, I looked into that. Apparently it's "illegal".
And I'll lose my vendor's license.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're fired.
[gasping] No, not that.
Anything but that!
So, uh, if you could just hand over your spatula.
Um, I'll just take that.
Here, I'll get that for you.
Uh, I'll also need the hat.
Allow me.
Go ahead, take a moment to collect yourself,
as long as you need.
Mr. Krabs is notorious for treating
his employees poorly,
but that's nothing compared to this next business owner.
Mr. Weenie is making the top five
for kidnapping a fry cook
and forcing him to work against his will.
Mr. Weenie?
Congratulations, SpongeBob, you've been promoted.
But you just fired me.
Ah, that's mustard under the bun, my boy.
The important thing is my customers love
your little sliders. Now get to work!
I'm pretty sure this is illegal.
The Dirty Bubble lands one of the top spots
on the naughty list for cleaning.
Wait, that can't be right.
Ah, sorry for cleaning the faces
right off of Bikini Bottom residents.
Breaking news.
The Dirty Bubble just wiped all the teachers dirty looks
right off their faces. Who will be next?
[laughing] No more pencils, no more books,
no more news guy dirty looks.
[laughing]
Hello. Ugh. That got in my mouth.
[laughing]
Sorry, old chum,
but from now on, you're going to have to stay clean, for good.
Be gone, hygiene. I'm too big to stay clean.
[shrieking]
[screaming]
[laughing]
Yow! It's on now!
[grunting]
[laughing]
Help! Help! Call the cops! Call Mr. Krabs!
This next menace is also in the business
of removing faces.
Trying to permanently erase SpongeBob grants
Doodle Bob third place in naughtiness.
[screaming]
[babbling]
Huh?
[babbling]
[screaming]
Be careful with that thing!
Who knows what'll happen!
I knows.
[babbling]
[laughing]
Very funny, Doodle. Now it's my turn.
[grunting]
Well, Doodle, it looks like this... is a draw.
You've made your point.
No matter! I was voted most artistic in high school.
[Squidward] Ouch! SpongeBob, you're going to pay for that!
Uh, maybe it was most clumsy.
[screaming]
[babbling]
And number two spot goes to this guy.
He might seem like an innocent bodyguard
with a moustache;
however, he's really the Tattletale Strangler.
This criminal name makes the list
for the multiple attempts of... you guessed it: strangling.
Step inside.
Close the door.
Well, here we are.
I finally got you all alone.
[laughing]
I know. Isn't it great?
[laughing]
Whoo.
[laughing]
Now you're gonna get yours, Tattletale!
Surprise!
[cheering]
A surprise party to celebrate my perfect on time percentage
at work?
Oh, how'd you guys know?
It's on the invitations you sent us.
Let's boogie!
[cheering]
[music playing]
Bye, everybody. Thanks for coming.
Bye, Mr. Krabs. Bye, Plankton. Bye, Sandy. Bye, Larry.
Bye, Pearl. Bye, Mrs. Puff. Bye, Squidward. Bye, the rest.
[laughing]
[sighing] Alone at last.
What? What? Huh?
So, we're all alone now?
Just you, me and the floorboards.
[laughing]
Yeah.
[laughing]
[knocking]
Happy birthday, SpongeBob!
Who's the naughtiest on the list?
Plankton may never be number oe in the restaurant business,
but Santa's awarding him the number one spot here.
He has accounts of trying to steal
the Krabby Patty formula,
throwing out his computer wife,
and terrorizing the town with his many robots.
[quacking]
Say, you are pretty cute.
Did you say "Cute"?
Um, uh.
Okay, get back you animals!
He needs room to be precious.
[quacking]
[gasping]
Awe.
[screaming]
[screeching]
[screaming]
Hey! Those don't sound like I'm spending money screams!
Huh?
[screeching]
[screaming]
Even Plankton's own scientific data proves
that he's reached maximum naughtiness.
[groaning]
Analyzing. 30% mean guy,
20% spiteful monster,
50% evil butt-head.
Sample is 100% big jerk.
Mean guys, spiteful monsters and evil butt-heads,
that pretty much sums up Santa's naughty list.
It looks like a lot of people will be getting
nothing but coal this season.