Are you scared to death to speak in front of people? In this video, I’m going to share
how I went from completely ashamed of myself to thriving on stage in front of audiences
of strangers…on this episode of The Dr. K Show.
I'm Dr. Karthik Ramanan, and on this channel I help ambitious individuals end self criticism
with tools and strategies to create optimal everyday mental health. If you're new here
and you know you need to get out of your own way to execute on your passions, I’m here
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Each week on The Dr. K Show, I answer YOUR burning questions. The second segment is Progress
Success, where I share a win from K Nation, people just like you. And in the final segment,
I Bring The Heat. If you need a kickstart, a little motivation, stick around until the
end. I drop wisdom, raw and real.
Jerry Seinfeld once famously said, “People’s number one fear is public speaking. Number
two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off
in the casket than doing the eulogy.” It may sound funny, but I believe that’s true.
There’s something about being on stage in front of people, whether it’s your peers
or strangers, that leaves us feeling vulnerable, almost naked. I was there. Shy, insecure,
and thoroughly ashamed to open my mouth out of fear of judgment. Years ago I would never
have imagined that that guy would be the same one who would, for four years in medical school,
CRAVE to have the honor of speaking at his class’ graduation ceremony. I’ll link
that speech up here and in the comments, so you can check it out after this video if you’d
like.
The key there is that fear of judgment. Is it judgment from others we’re afraid of?
Or is the act of public speaking simply a trigger for our own self criticism? That’s
the question of the day, and I’d like to know what you think. Let me know in the comments
section below. I read every single comment, and it would mean the world to me if I could
understand where you’re coming from.
So how do we overcome the fear of public speaking? First, the tactical, rational approach. Pretend
you’re acting, playing a character separate from yourself. Despite being unsure of myself
in my teenage years, I inexplicably found that I was drawn to acting on stage. It came
easily to me and I had a lot of fun playing out different characters. Perhaps acting was
fun because I just enjoyed playing out wrestling personalities when I was a kid.
Finally, The Doc, has come back to YouTube.
Did you like that? If so, hit that like button.
In all seriousness, when you play the role of a character, you cease play yourself. Your
behaviors, thoughts, characteristics are all masked by those of the character. As a result,
you cease to judge yourself.
Now how does that translate for a presentation or a speech? What if you designed a character
that wasn’t necessarily you, but based on you, just amped up a little bit. Just turn
up the volume a tad. Take some time, close your eyes, and really start to think about
what that amped up version of you looks like. When you’re alone, practice playing that
character. Practice the speech you’re going to give, as that character. Visualize your
audience enjoying watching the portrayal of this character just as you’re enjoying playing
that character. Remember, they’re looking at the character, not you. Just like everything,
practice makes perfect. Keep repeating this technique, and you’ll find in no time that
you enjoy the performance of a speech, just like I do today.
That was the tactical approach. What about the emotional approach? Stick around for Bring
The Heat.
Today’s Progress Success is from my friend Becah. She’s in a very difficult season
of her life, and when faced with the choice to give in or lean in, she is leaning in and
facing her past and journaled her starting point.
“I don’t want fear to be allowed to control me. I don’t want to be anxious and depressed.
I don’t want what others think of me, or what I THINK they think of me, to dictate
how I live my life anymore. I want to feel strong. I want to have joy. I want to savor
life. I want to feel alive!”
It takes courage to take that first step, and I am so, so proud of her. If you want
to share your progress success, DM me on Instagram.
Are you afraid to stand up in front of peers or strangers and open your mouth, present
some facts, share your thoughts, or just be seen? Do you feel lonely and exposed when
the spotlight is on you? I get it. I really get it. I was there, and now I’m not. You’re
going to change too.
How you’ve always been is not how you have to be. You’re afraid not because of the
act of speaking, but you’re afraid of your own self criticism. Any time we’re assessed
in life, whether it’s a speech, an exam, or any other circumstance, those of us who
are self critical use those opportunities to “prove” to ourselves that we’re not
worthy, we’re not capable, we’re not powerful, we’re not enough.
THAT ENDS NOW.
You’re not afraid of what people think of you. You’re afraid of what you THINK people
think of you. If you really wanted to know what they think of you, you’d ask your closest
friends and family. And WHEN you ask them, you’d truly, deeply adopt their empowering
view of you. If you really wanted the truth about yourself, you’d find it. But you’re
too committed to your stories about not being enough.
No child is born with the disempowering beliefs that so many of us carry around. If we weren’t
born with it, we can undo it. It starts with accepting the talent and skills as well as
the weaknesses and deficiencies of where you’re at right now. Let go, embrace the present,
and live the ideal projection of your future rather than the shadows of your past. You
are bright. You are capable. Your light will shine so bright in front of others that they’ll
be drawn to you. This is your future if you choose to accept it.
I believe in your greatness.