♪ Roach ♪
♪ Ha-ah ♪
♪ Savior of the Universe ♪
- Hey there Roaches, you know what time it is.
Strap yourselves in for another episode of Roach Plays!
Slurpy Swamp here I come!
Boy I sure do love that swamp and how...
Slurpy it is.
(upbeat music)
Nothing like coasting in on your favorite tunes.
A pistol, a trusty sidearm. (door clicks)
Who cares about this boring looting?
Lets get straight to the action!
Purple weapon, woohoo!
Roach just hit the jackpot!
If only I could move this fast in real life!
Roach smash!
(boxes crash)
(Level up tune)
(bullets explode)
Man, we're just making all kinds of music this episode!
Sing to me, barrels!
(gunshots echo)
Finally, some action!
♪ Roach is building a platform into space! ♪
♪ Space so he can roach all his victims! ♪
♪ (Gunshots blast) ♪
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- Hoo-wee!
CowJuice92 is no more.
Now to collect my hard-earned loot!
(helicopter propellers click)
Oop, copter sounds!
Better keep my roach eyes peeled.
(light gunfire)
Oh no!
I didn't keep them peeled enough!!
(loud blasts)
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- Poggers, Man!
That's (stammers) that's what the kids say nowadays,
right, Richard?
I think the chat will be happy to
see I've got a variety of weapons this time!
Heheha.
Praise me!
Oh boy!
Is that another person waiting to be Roached?
Sit tight, Lil buddy!
Your doom awaits!
Sounds like he's beneath me.
Perfect!
There you are!
Wait, come here!
(gun clicks)
Roachtastic!
(loud blast) (gun clicks)
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- Poor guy, he didn't know what hit him.
Would he be mad if he knew
it was a man wearing a robotic Llama head?
One mini?
No thanks!
Where's my next victim?
Gunshots!
Don't fail me now, Captain Accuracy!
- [Captain Accuracy] Arg, make sure to close
both them eyes matey!
- (gasps) Mary Poppins?
Is, (stammers) is that you?
- [OBI-WAN ROACH] Patience, is key, Padawan.
- (stammers) H-hello??
Someone hear something?
♪ That guy's building a tower into space ♪
♪ Space where they're gonna shoot some noobs ♪
Yes, weaken each other
so I can swoop in and finish you all off!
Easy, and--
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- There it is!
Huh, I guess the creepy ghosts I keep hearing
actually have sound advice!
Now, all this hard earned loot is mine!
(gun clicks)
Meowscles' gun?
Yes, please!
(level up music)
You can hide, but you can't run!
(gunshots blast)
Wait.
Wow, this gun is powerful!
Be vewy quiet...
I'm woaching wabbits!
(gun clicks)
No one sneaks up on Roach! (gun blasts)
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
(gun clicks)
- Alright, feeling good!
I'll just reload everything here
and make my way into circle!
We're down to less than 20 players now, Roaches.
This is where it gets tricky!
Eep!
But I thought I was alone!!
(gun blasts)
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- Goodbye, my dude!
More loot for Roach!!
(gun clicks)
Okay, okay.
Now, I'll get back in zone.
Just needed to ready up.
Oooh, xp!
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
I like rocket launchers.
I'll take this one.
I (stammers) think that's another player,
but I'm too far for a satisfying roaching here.
(hums Mission Impossible theme)
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo.
Aw, that one's kinda far too.
Like ants cowering before the big roach,
I scope out my prey!
(light music)
Wow, I think this is the first time
I've ever been maxed out on wood!
(light gunfire)
They're fighting!
Now is my chance to do what I do best!
What light, over yonder fishing hole breaks?
(coughs and gags)
I dunno what just came over me.
Ow!
Okay, okay!
I'm sorry I tried to quote Shakespeare!
(light gunfire)
As soon as I have a plan, you're getting Roached, Mister!
This sounds like a job for Mr. Rocket!
Take this! (rocket blasts)
And this! (gun bursts and clicks)
You're lucky I have to reload!
I should be safe to heal
now that I've harassed them a little.
Send em a little present. (rocket blasts)
Where are you?
Don't hide from Roach! (bullets bursts)
(gun clicks)
There you are! (bullets explode)
Wanted to try and get the loot crate huh?
He's weak!
I'm going in for the kill!
Locked and loaded, let's get this party started!
(rocket explodes)
Open up!
This is Roach!
(guns blast)
No walls can hold the Mighty Roach!
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- Ooooh!
Even I felt tricky about that one,
your editing skills couldn't save you from the Roach!
(gun clicks)
When you see a gold scar, you pickup a gold scar.
Nevermind!
I could never betray my new favorite gun!
(helicopter whirls)
Still hearing that copter overhead.
Maybe it's a ghost-copter!
(gun clicks)
You never know when you might need a jump pad
to make an escape!
Now, lets see what present Deadpool got me!
(gun clicks)
(rockets explode)
More rockets!
You know me so well!
Fort Roach is under attack, again!
(explosions)
Aaah, he's coming this way!
Get back, heathen!
(guns click)
Here comes Roach!
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- How could I ever put this gun down?
It's too good to me.
(gun clicks)
Only 3 players left??
I think I could really win this one!
Someone's got an itch for architecture!
It'd be a shame if I came over there
with my rocket launcher. (evil laugh)
There's another one of my contenders.
Think I should've gotten some high ground?
Ahh, the old taking aim at a helicopter from very far away.
Classic. (helicopter sputters)
Oh my god!
Timber!
(loud explosion)
I've got you in my sights! (bullets explode)
- [Captain Accuracy] Yer sights have looked better, Matey!
(gun clicks)
- You can't build your way out of this rocket!
(rocket explodes)
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
- HA!
Should've built a roof!
AAHH!
That was a close one!
Did you see that bullet?
Oh, just another loot crate.
Did someone just build behind me?
He's taking Fort Roach!
Constructing Fort Roach Part 2, Chapter 2!
(gun clicks)
(bullets explode)
Tear down these brick walls!
They block my perfect shot!
(gun clicks)
Nothing a good old fashioned rocket can't fix!
(rocket blasts)
(bullets click)
Hey, that's no fair! (loud explosion)
I'm the only one using rockets in this game!!
- [Computer Voice] Roached! (bell dings)
(level up music)
- Just one more player left!
Let's bring this home, Roaches!
Ah, oh no! (bullets buzz)
I must hide!
Ok Roach, don't panic.
Everything is gonna be just fine.
(loud gunfire)
No!
Aw Man!
I'm sorry Roaches, he brought out the mini-gun.
It was over too soon for me.
Dang!
Well, the next time I see you guys,
it'll be in a brand new season.
What do you think it'll be about?
Do you think we'll still have spies?
I'm just so excited!
It's going to be awesome!
Don't forget to like and subscribe everyone,
and I'll see you all in the next episode!
Bye bye!
(happy music)