- Today we ask the age old question.
- Will it muffin?
- Let's talk about that.
(groovy music)
- Good mythical morning.
- We want to encourage you to make our podcast Ear Biscuits
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It comes out every Monday.
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- Yes.
Breakfasts is one of my top five
all time favorite meals of the day.
It's right up there with fourth meal and toilet snack.
But when you're breakfasting on the go,
you'll probably turn
to the most reliable breakfast pastry known to man,
the muffin.
- Oh yeah.
So in honor of that bready little breakfast beast,
we're gonna stretch the outer limits of the imagination
and the imagimuffin.
It's time for
- [Both] Will it muffin?
- Now we've done will it cupcake before
so let's talk about the differences
between cupcakes and muffins.
Cupcakes are mini cakes.
They're made with cake flour.
- Mmhmm.
Muffins are typically made with bread flour
or whole wheat flour.
- Cupcakes are always sweet.
- Muffins can be sweet or savory.
- And most importantly,
cupcakes are frosted.
- While muffins are occasionally topped
with a glaze or a crumble
but never frosting.
- Okay, now that we have cleared that up.
Let's get to tasting our first muffin.
(breaths heavily)
Why has there never been a post workout muffin
that can replenish your electrolytes, right?
Well now there is.
We call this mufferade.
- Mufferade.
Josh, tell us and them what you did.
- [Josh] So I started with a muffin base
except I also reduced about two gallons
of Glacier Freeze Gatorade into a syrup.
- Glacier Freeze, huh?
- [Josh] It's the best.
It's the coldest,
especially when you bake it at 400 degrees.
- Right.
- [Josh] And then I actually set
some of the reduced Gatorade with gelatin
and then mixed the solid chips in there
to give it those little steam marks
that a blueberry muffin would give you.
- The thing about glacier freeze though is that,
with what's happening with the glaciers,
there's kind of a sadness in this now.
- [Josh] Seems insensitive.
- Well not insensitive
but I think it could bring awareness.
- Let me say that it's interesting
that you say blueberry muffin
'cause when I smell it,
I just smell a fruity muffin.
- [Josh] And it should taste like blue.
- Taste the glacier.
- Have you desheaved your muffin yet?
- Well I was trying to keep,
oh, it is sticky.
I like a sticky muffin.
- I like to get a little bit of the muffin top
and a little bit of the muffin side on my first bite.
- I'm more of just a topper.
- Really?
- Yeah. - Okay.
What in the world?
- That's a sour punch of goodness.
- Hold on,
you have discovered something here sir.
- It's heavy too.
Why's it so heavy?
- [Josh] It's about 1,100 calories
of just pure sugar in there I think.
- Yeah.
Can't go wrong with that.
I love the consistency to which its been baked
it's not overbaked,
you did a great job there.
- It doesn't taste like fruit.
- [Josh] Is this Great British Bake-Off now?
(laughs)
- It tastes like glacier ice.
- Put me in, coach, put me in, I'm ready.
For the second half.
- [Rhett] Gatorade, will it muffin?
- [Both] Yes!
- I've never understood why the British
get to call all desserts pudding
and whatever the heck an English muffin is a muffin.
Words have meanings, England.
- Yeah.
- So today, we're taking an Egg McMuffin
which is called that because it's on an English muffin
and finally making it into a real freaking muffin.
It's the badabababa I'm muffin' it.
- Oh, I didn't know how it would come out as a verb.
- Muffin' it.
Alright, and you got some residual
McDonald's packaging here.
- I actually made that myself. - What did you do sir?
- [Josh] So I took a bunch of Sausage McMuffins
actually it's better than the Egg McMuffin sausage
over canadian bacon any day
and I chopped up the English muffins
and mixed that with the cheddar cheese into a muffin batter
with a little bit of maple syrup
and then I actually encased some full egg and sausage
on the inside
and then a little ketchup drizzle
and hash brown crumb topping on top.
- That is immaculate.
You've immaculately conceived an Egg McMuffin muffin.
- So it feels like I got to get a bite
that gets the ketchup on the top and the cross section.
- [Josh] You got to unhinge the jaw.
- I got a little mouth.
- Dink it.
Oh!
That hurt but it was worth it.
- I just stretched a little bit more
than my jaw was ready for.
- This is so nice.
- That's real special.
That is really special.
- It's so cakey.
- And somehow you feel a little bit more refined.
What are you having this morning?
Just a muffin,
just a muffin.
Well technically an Egg McMuffin muffin.
- Hashbrowns.
I'm oh, this is so good!
I don't even care.
I don't even care man.
- Okay, Egg McMuffin, will it muffin?
- [Both] Yes!
- So when you think Russia,
you probably don't think muffin.
We're about to change that.
We have incorporated
some traditional flavors from the Russian palette
into a muffin,
specifically borscht.
There's a lot of consonants,
I don't know how exactly to say that,
vodka and caviar.
We call this one, Vladimor Pukin.
- So we're basically saying,
it ain't gonna be good. - That just means,
we don't think we're gonna have a good time with this one.
- Now when I first saw this out of the corner of my eye,
I was like oh, an elongated blueberry.
And now I'm like of course it's caviar.
- [Rhett] We said what was in here
but is there anything else special
about it? - I don't know what borscht,
I don't know what that is.
- [Josh] So borscht is a,
it's a vinegared beet and beef soup.
- Beet and what?
- [Josh] Beef.
Beef broth with a lot of beets and vinegar in it
and that's what formed the base flavor of the muffin
with two kinds of caviar mixed in there
and then a little bit of Russian village style sour cream.
- Is that where everybody in the village spits in it?
- [Josh] Yeah.
- Now it's a meatloaf really in a muffin form
but it's not nearly as dense as the previous one.
It's light for what you think it is.
- Are those little, is that fish eggs right there,
like the big
dilly dallys? - Yeah, those are
the big boys.
- [Rhett] We got big fish eggs and little fish eggs.
- Oh my gosh.
- Okay, dink it
(moans)
okay, don't worry about it.
- [Josh] Keep an open mind.
- Get a little bit of that caviar.
I think it'll take some of the edge off.
- You think we might like it?
- [Josh] I think you might.
The flavors are there.
- What do we need to think about
in order to like it?
Picture--
- Mother Russia.
- Not my mother.
I'll just picture my own mom, how's that?
- Okay.
- Thanks mom, you made this for me,
I know you love me.
Didn't know you were Russian.
Fishy.
I feel like I'm swimming in it.
- If I quantum leaped into my body right now
having not been here before and this was,
right now and this was in my mouth and I'm chewing,
I would have no point of reference
for what was in my mouth right now.
- It's very weird.
There is a meaty quality.
- Shout out to Scott Bakula.
I thought I saw Scott Bakula in the airport
but it was a guy who looked like Scott Bakula.
It was the most underwhelming celebrity non sighting
in the history of non celebrity sightings.
- Wow, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I think I'm gonna be able to swallow it
but the thing that is saving it for me
is that sour cream.
- [Josh] Yeah.
- [Rhett] The village sour cream.
- [Josh] The village spit, man, it's good.
- I didn't puke.
Points.
But I don't want another bite.
- Did not enjoy it the least bit
but maybe with further traveling
and expanding of our minds,
we bring our moms along,
change our mind
but for now-- - We're going to Russia, moms.
- [Link] Russia,
- [Both] Will it muffin?
No!
- Okay, let's move on from fish eggs
and dive even deeper into the ocean
with a muffin filled with all types of seafood.
We're calling this the muffin diver
and it's dark down there.
Look at that.
- [Rhett] Josh, what makes it so dark?
- [Josh] Oh just trapped souls of divers
who never came up to the top.
Squid ink also.
It's the squid ink.
- That's what makes it black
and this is some uni on top?
- [Josh] That's some uni.
There's some little cherry stone clams in there
and then lots of seaweed as well.
- [Rhett] And it's an octopus?
- There's octopus coming out.
What else is in here?
- He just said it all.
- Clams?
I can't listen when I'm looking at something this nasty.
- Cherry stone clams.
- Good, I don't want to know actually.
- [Josh] Those are good.
- This has got some density to it.
You packed this one very, very tight.
- [Josh] I don't know what happened with this one.
- See the thing is--
- It's very small.
- If I'm eating fish that tastes fishy, I'm okay with it
but when you put it in this friendly format of a muffin,
I'm offended.
So I'm just trying to give it a chance.
- As somebody who actually enjoys sushi,
I've never really been able to appreciate uni.
There's been a few times where I've tried,
I can get it in my mouth
and then I have to distract the rest of the table
as I spit it into the napkin.
- There's no hope for me.
I'm gonna bite this without biting the uni
to give it even a fighting chance of willing.
- That means I got to be the uni man.
I'm gonna do a little bit of uni
and there is some octopus over here.
So here we go.
- Dink it, sink it.
(groaning)
- Oh God.
- It's the uni part man, isn't it?
- I'm gonna fight it down.
- Oh you can do it, you can do it,
you can do it, you can do it.
- It's like I'm doing one of those beach clean ups
but the rule is Rhett has to eat the stuff on the beach
'cause it looks like an oil slick.
- That's a new level of community service.
- Screw you, Axxon.
- What I'm eating is not good at all
but if I focus on the cakeiness
and separate it from the seafoodness
and I think I could get there.
- I got something you can barf in.
- Because I haven't done the uni, I'm okay.
This is okay.
This is seafood muffin.
Happy, happy.
- I think the only way to get through this
is to Scott Bakula back into my body.
- Hey man, thanks for joining us.
You should just swallow what's in your mouth,
do you like it?
- Who am I?
Where am I?
What kind of problem do I have to solve this episode?
- I'm saying uni-less this might.
I'mma leave it to you sir.
- I never thought I'd be making quantum leap references
and I apologize for it.
- Don't.
I'm leaving this one to you.
Seafood, will it muffin?
- No!
Now do you think it's a good idea
to take our moms to Russia
but that could be difficult to plan
so until then, let's just put moms in a muffin.
Yes, we have put human breast milk and pig uterus
into a muffin
because that's the best way we can approximate moms.
- And then we're able to call it a milfin.
- Yeah.
- Oh gosh.
If I Scott Bakula'd to me right now,
I would say wait, hold on, let's have a conversation.
- For those of you who are lost about Scott Bakula,
Scott Bakula was the star in a show called Quantum Leap
and every single show,
he would leap into someone's body
and have no idea who he was,
at what point in
history he was. - But he had a mission.
- But he had a mission.
- And he had to complete it in 60 minutes
minus commercial time.
So like 44 minutes or less.
- And there was an older guy
who was like his sherpa that was always there.
I don't know how that worked,
I can't remember. - And there was an angel.
- Yeah.
- And that was Michael Landon.
- There wasn't an angel
but it should be a reboot.
- Josh, what have you done?
- [Josh] About Quantum Leap coming back
or about the muffin?
- Are you a fan, Quantum Leap?
- [Josh] I've never seen it, no.
I love me some Bakula though.
- That's all he's done.
- [Josh] I took some pork uterus
and simply boiled it,
mixed it into a very neutral muffin base
so you can taste a lot of the uterus
with of course breast milk
and then I've done a breast milk brined
whole pork uterus on top.
- That's a uterus?
- Oh gosh, Rhett. - Where does the baby go?
- Oh no, it's just curled up.
It could be worse.
It could actually be Mother's Day.
We could be feeding this to our moms.
After the lie detector test,
they're very squirrely when coming around.
- Oh man.
I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get this uterus--
- Maybe it's good.
Don't think about what it is.
- Oh yeah, maybe uterus is good.
- It's good for some things.
- Okay, do it.
(groaning)
- Got to get some more muffin.
(gagging and coughing)
- Oh God.
(gagging)
I can't do it, man.
I can't do it.
I got to get it out.
Ugh!
Hi mom.
- Hold on, I just got here from the past.
Did I miss something?
- Your mission is to put your face into that bucket,
get what you spit out
and actually swallow it.
That's what I just did.
- Oh my gosh, uh uh.
Oh!
- Moms everywhere
- You do good work.
- We still believe in you,
you're still fighting the good fight.
- Yeah, you're the best type of person.
- Just because we couldn't get uterus down,
doesn't mean that we don't appreciate moms.
So pig uterus and breast milk, will it muffin?
- [Both] No!
- Okay, so what have we done today
besides blatantly promote Quantum Leap?
Is it on Hulu or something?
- It should be.
- I hope it's somewhere so you can watch it.
- We've done a service to the world
'cause out there somewhere
somebody was looking at a recipe
for pig uterus and breast milk muffins
and now they're not going to make them.
- Yeah and Scott,
any time you want to come by, just pop in literally
and taste whatever we got.
- Yeah, thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is
- Hello I'm Mill,
Lucy, Ramut, Muffin, Murphy, Garfield.
We're all in Denmark
and it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality.
- There was a muffin in there.
- Yes there was.
- Click the top link to watch us
taste the chicken Caesar muffin in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the wheel of mythicality's
gonna land.
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