Nowadays,
it seems like every news story is upsetting.
Politics, climate change,
war in the Middle East, war at Popeyes.
-(laughter) -And... And I was...
I was chatting to my friend Roy Wood Jr. about this,
and I was just like, "Yo, man,
"I wish we could just take a moment
"to find news stories that are just fun.
You know, bring a little sunshine into our lives."
And so I-I asked Roy if he could find
some of those happy stories,
and that's exactly what he's done
for our brand-new happy segment, A Sprinkling of Sunshine.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
Ah!
(laughter)
Hello, everyone.
I'm Roy Wood Jr.
And today, I thought we'd kick off
our first Sprinkling of Sunshine with some stories about animals,
'cause who doesn't love animals?
They keep us company, they help us with our work,
and a certain number seven horse helped me win $5,000,
which I immediately lost when I doubled down
on a certain number four horse, slow bastard.
(laughter)
My point is animals help us out, and now they're cheering us up
in the most cheerless place on earth, the airport.
A therapy animal is hogging all the attention
at the San Francisco International Airport.
You may have encountered LiLou.
She's billed as the world's first airport therapy pig.
Her main goal is to help passengers
ease travel anxieties.
The five-year-old pig poses for selfies,
can do tricks like a dog.
Airport officials say LiLou has built
a sense of community there, and she's house-trained.
-(laughter) -Mm. Aw.
That's so adorable.
You feel that sunshine? I feel that sunshine.
The San Francisco Airport got a therapy pig,
which is great, 'cause it's usually therapy dogs.
This pig is a trailblazer.
She's the Jackie Robinson of pigs,
but instead of home runs,
LiLou's talent is not shitting on anyone's luggage.
And you got to imagine,
this has got to be a hard job for LiLou.
She's got to walk around the airport food court
smelling bacon and not being freaked out.
(laughter)
I mean, if I walked in my office
and it smelled like barbecued black guy,
I probably would take a shit on someone's luggage.
(laughter and applause)
Just the first whiff, like, "Mm."
And I think animals make great therapists.
They make great therapists, animals.
They listen, they're loyal and, unlike human therapists,
you can tell them about crimes you're gonna commit,
and they can't stop you.
So I think this therapy pig is a great idea,
especially considering that in America,
one in five adults struggles
with some form of mental illness,
but because there's a lack of resources,
people got to figure out their own shit by themselves
or talk to a goddamn pig
-20 minutes before their flight. -Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy.
-No, no, Roy, Roy, Roy. -It's a damn shame that you got to...
-A pig! -Roy, Roy, Roy! Roy, Roy, Roy.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
We're here... we're here to sprinkle sunshine, remember?
That's my bad. You're right.
Sunshine. Sprinkle the sunshine.
I got-- I got carried away.
-Okay! -(applause)
Let's move from the cutest therapy pig
to a rascally little kitty.
REPORTER: A Houston animal rescue organization
is desperate to get rid of this cute cat.
They say Quilty had to be sentenced
to solitary confinement for continually letting
other cats out of their enclosures.
The serial offender was caught multiple times by staff
at Friends For Life Animal Rescue and Adoption,
setting his feline friend free from the senior room.
The shelter says Quilty will not be contained.
He has no shame. The cat is currently free,
visiting with a potential adoption family.
Quilty even has his own merchandise now.
Too much sunshine! My heart can't take it.
You've got a rescue cat that's rescuing other cats!
Forget that freaky-ass Cats movie.
They need to make a movie about Quilty breaking out.
Call it The Pawshank Redemption.
-(applause) -And...
and Morgan Freeman can still narrate it.
"It comes down to a simple choice, really.
"Get busy scratchin' or get busy dyin'.
Nine times."
Also, good luck to any family that adopts Quilty.
The parents are gonna come home and look around the house
and they gonna be like, "Hey, who opened the baby gate?"
And Quilty's gonna be like, "Hey,
I don't believe in keeping kids in cages."
In fact, maybe this cat should be in charge
of the immigration policy, instead of people who think
-it's okay to rip thousands of kids -Whoa, whoa, whoa, Roy.
-away from their parents, who are just trying -Roy, Roy, Roy.
-to give their families a better life! -Roy, Roy, Roy.
-Roy, Roy, Roy. R-Roy. -Put Quilty!
R-- No, Roy, I-I know this is important
and we talk about immigration all the time,
but I-I thought we said, just for this moment,
sunshine.
(laughter)
We're shining. We're-we're good.
We're-we're sparkling. We're-we're having a good time.
And if you want a good time, Trevor, you want some sunshine,
this last story is unbearably cute.
It's about a bear.
But, first, we have deputies that come to the rescue
when a bear gets himself stuck in a pretty tight spot
near Lake Tahoe.
Take a look. This is a 400-pound bear.
He is well-known, apparently, to local sheriffs
and the deputies there. They even have a nickname for him.
That is T-shirt, because of the white spot on his chest.
And they say they have to often improvise
when dealing with bears, doing what they can
to keep them and everyone around them safe.
I mean, that would be quite startling there.
Now, while deputies have to get close sometimes,
they do warn people not to get too close to those bears.
-(awwing) -Goddamn.
A giant bear in a dumpster.
That is both hilarious
and a very common search on Pornhub.
-It... -(laughing)
It also means doing chores in this town
has got to be extremely dangerous.
"Uh, baby, can you take out the trash?"
"What? You trying to get me killed, woman,
"to take the life insurance! I know what you're trying to do.
Ain't taking out no damn trash."
And, also, kudos to the police officers
for approaching this bear calmly and deescalating the situation.
I just wish black people in America would get
-the same treatment from the police. -Whoa, Roy, Roy, Roy.
-That would be a wonderful thing. -R-Roy.
-(cheering and applause) -It's...
It would be wonderful
if the police-- I mean, may-maybe black people
should just start wearing bear costumes
-whenever we leave the house. -R-Roy, Roy.
L-Look, I-I-- All of this makes sense
and I agree with you, but we can't always be outraged.
That's what we said this would be about.
You're right, you're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
That's my bad. I-It's just hard for me to not focus
on all the bad news that's out there.
There's so much bad news out there.
Well-well, maybe you should talk to someone about that, Roy.
Actually, Trevor, I'm about to head to the airport.
My therapy pig is flying in.
Roy Wood Jr., everybody.