Interesting phenomenon has been occurring lately.
I'll give you an example.
Just a couple days ago I was in supermarket,
and I was picking up a few things
and I come around the aisle,
and as I'm coming around the aisle,
I practically collide with this young woman who's-
we just have baskets, you know,
I didn't have that much to get.
I wanna say had like five items.
And I'm gonna say she had like four. She had a basket.
But we kind of collided almost with each other.
And I said, "Oh, excuse me."
And she looked up, and she had little earbuds in her ears,
and she took an earbud out, and she said,
"I'm listening to your podcast right now."
Whoa.
Which freaked me out a little bit.
I'm interrupting myself,
and I sent out a tweet about this,
but I realized it's been happening more frequently.
Walking around, I'll bump into someone,
and they'll say-
It actually happened near our podcast studio here
in Larchmont. Someone said,
"Oh, I'm listening to you right now."
And it feels like we need to discuss this.
Meaning, what should the etiquette be?
Do I need to reward these people somehow?
Oh. You know what I mean?
Do I need to have a Willy Wonka golden ticket on me
at all times?
Yes.
If you're listening to the podcast,
and you can prove it as you pass me,
is there a secret handshake?
I mean, that's all. I'm just opening this up.
And it may be that we decide, no, there's nothing we do.
I have no obligation to these people.
But it's a phenomenon that has not existed before.
You know? Right.
No one could run into me while they were watching
my Late Night show all those years 'cause they were
in their home watching it.
Yeah.
So this is a new thing where people are walking around,
roaming around, possibly listening to me.
And as we know, I'm not some, you know,
one of those celebs that is always hidden from public view.
I do everything I can to be seen constantly.
Right. You do.
That's another thing they might see you put the podcast on,
and be like, "Oh my God, I'm listening to you right now."
Whatever pumps my ego, pumps my ego.
I don't care at all.
(laughs) You're okay with that.
I'm okay with them cheating.
(Sona and Matt laughing)
I'm wondering, are there people who are listening
to the podcast, and see me, and go, "Oh, God,"
and go the other way.
Does that happen?
Oh. Oh, interesting.
Like they'd be too embarrassed.
I can't take a double dose of this guy's voice right now.
I doubt that. I bet they'd be more embarrassed to say,
"Oh, I'm actually listening to you right now,"
and they'll seem obsessed with you. Which you would love.
I would love that. You would love that.
I get really weird when people say they recognize my voice
to the point where I feel like-
'cause you are also a people pleaser.
So I don't know if I need to give them something.
And sometimes I'm like, "Do I give them Conan's number?"
(Sona and Matt laughing)
I love that.
You're my personal assistant,
and you're thinking about giving people
my personal phone number.
Should we call you? (laughing) Like, I don't know.
You know, what you should do is hand them your phone,
and say, "You get to pick one celebrity phone number
out of there."
(Sona laughing)
And guess what?
I would not be the pick- (Sona laughing)
Of the numbers that you probably have.
It's very exciting.
Technology has created a new situation
where someone can be hearing your voice walking around
in the world and then encounter you.
And so if that happens, it feels like,
I don't know, I'm just questioning.
I think you should give every person
that's listening to you and finds you
in public a hundred dollars.
And then make this kind of like a treasure hunt, you know?
I guess "Fuck you"-
(Sona and Matt laughing)
Is the appropriate response.
I'm sorry, $500.
Now you're talking.
No, no, I do not want to do that.
You know, right now what happens when people see me,
and they wanna show that they know the-
and this happens all the time-
is they say, "Kedakai!"
And that happens.
I walk through airports, and I hear,
"Kedakai. Kedakai. Kedakai."
I'm even starting to get some of those now too.
Yeah. It's gettin' pandemic-y.
Yeah.
Well, you do wear a hat that says,
"I'm Matt Gourley, kind of Conan O'Brien."
And it's not a little baseball cap.
It's a very large top hat that the Mad Hatter would've worn
in "Alice in Wonderland."
But anyway, that's your business.
I don't know. I don't know what the answer is.
I don't either. I don't know.
I mean, I just didn't know if there's a little-
I'm very appreciative that people listen.
Isn't the gift, the podcast? Like, "You're welcome."
(Conan and Matt laughs)
The gift's the podcast.
All along.
You're welcome, right?
When people say, "Hey, I'm listening to you right now,"
you should just be like, "You're welcome."
Yeah. With real attitude.
Yeah. Like, "Fuck you. You're welcome."
Maybe that's your thing.
I love that. "Fuck you. You're welcome."
"Hey, Conan, I'm just encountering you right now
at this Buddhist temple.
You're lighting a candle,
and I also happen to be listening to-"
"Fuck you! You're welcome."
(Sona laughing)
Oh, boy.
(Sona and Matt laughing)
"So on the podcast you're talking about
how kindness is important."
"Yeah. Well, that's the podcast. You're lucky to get it.
It's pretty hard to get."
"It's actually free
and available wherever you get your podcasts."
(Sona laughing)
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
Be like, "You're welcome for that gift I gave you."
You know, I don't know.
So you went one way, Gourley went to
I hand them a crisp hundred dollar bill.
Crisp. Mint issue.
We're very different.
You know what?
I should have gag hundred dollars bills made.
It looks like a hundred dollar bill,
but really it's my face on it.
And it says, "You've been Conaned."
And I'm making like a really lascivious face on it,
and I've got moose antlers, and, you know.
That's the same as saying, "Fuck you."
(Conan laughs)
Yeah. Well that's on the other side
where usually there's the pyramid with the eye.
That's where there's the "Fuck you."
You gotta, you know, you gotta lay these things out.
Yeah.
Anyway, we haven't figured it out yet,
but if you do see me,
and you are listening to the podcast, when you see me-
When you see Conan, just go up to him and go, "Fuck you!"
No, don't. Don't do that.
What if I'm with my kids?
That's gonna be traumatic for me.
Don't do that. That's what they say to you.
Don't do that.
Don't do that. Oh, man.
Thanks. Thanks a lot, Matt.
You're welcome. You're a good guy.
You're welcome.
My daughter will be crying, "Why did that happen?"
No, she'll like probably laugh.
Oh, yeah.
They love it when I'm verbally assaulted on the street.
Well, what a wonderful session.
Put a nice button to a session.
We did it again.
Yep. All right, well I'll see you out there.
Keep on listening fans.
And, "Fuck you. You're welcome."