My grandfather is a Holocaust survivor.
He escaped a German concentration camp,
when he was about 18 19 years old.
Got on a train and,
ended up going to Shanghai.
And he ended up moving to New York.
And I'd always known that story.
But never really, properly
engaged with it.
Everyone at school,
and university
always used to call me the Jew.
They always used to project a Jewish
identity on me that I hadn't
actually wanted
or understood.
I didn't really engage
with that identity.
During university,
I was studying a communications
and media degree.
And I decided to do my
dissertation on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
As it was something that everyone always used
to talk about. I took the anti-Israel
angle.
And during that time I was actually dating an
Egyptian. His friends were
quite outspoken about their
hatred for Israel
and they used to love the fact that I was the token
Jew who hated Israel.
I always knew that God existed.
I just never really wanted to
engage with organized religion.
I never rejected
God. I just never wanted to bring him into
my life and so I didn't really grow up
with any faith.
I was more interested in going out
and having a great time drinking lots
doing drugs going to Ibiza
and partying loads.
Being with friends.
I didn't have any time for
religion.
Me and that boyfriend broke up
and it ended quite badly.
I was left just feeling so
crushed and also that I'd really
failed. That I really just hurt
someone
and hurt myself as well.
I didn't know how to make it better,
to find forgiveness.
I'd only really get
it from a higher power I'd
only really get it from God.
I kind of started to get quite
bad anxiety waking up
thinking about my life
and where
what I'm doing with my life
or where I am going.
I just couldn't knock this feeling of
unforgiveness
and I just didn't feel whole.
Just searching for something more
I wanted to go to church because my
grandmother who had been
like my mom growing up had
always told me about Jesus.
And so I go to
the nearest church I put on
my best funeral outfit,
so I wore black dress black shoes
and very smart looking thinking that's what
you need to wear to a church.
Walked in and,
everyone's
wearing Converses checkered
shirts.
They are having
baseball caps, and there's
no seats.
There's cushions everywhere.
I just was so shocked!
And so when I was there everyone just was
so happy
and they had this peace
and this like happiness
about them that I really wanted.
So I just continued to go back every week,
sat upstairs in church
and just took it all in.
And there was this amazing
worship.
So there was this
amazing music being played
with these lyrics talking about
healing forgiveness love.
And it just spoke straight
to me.
So I just sat there
and just cried.
And.
I just remember just,
like it was yesterday I just
knew that God was speaking to
me and that it wasn't two separate faiths.
It wasn't just, being a Christian
or being Jewish
but actually they tied
together. And someone asked me if I
wanted some prayer.
I said yes.
And they were like What do you pray about?
And I just said I really
want to know Jesus.
And so she started praying for me.
And when she was praying I just felt this huge
amount of joy.
And so much so that I
was crying a huge weight
that I was carrying just lifted from my shoulders.
I just felt like a new person.
I felt.
Happy I felt joyful.
I was once this, quite, trapped
anxious, girl.
And with God,
He has turned that into,
A huge armor
and a strength.
And so I really,
really, kind
of embraced my Jewish identity
by having faith having this new faith,
and since being a part
of God's family.
My Jewish heritage
and the faith in
Jesus went hand-in-hand.
There was nothing separate
about it.
I found the solution for
the Middle East conflict.
I've seen it with my own eyes that Jew
and Arab can fully
unite in Jesus.