- I can't really wrap my head around how that happened
that you entered the system at one,
and did not ultimately find an adoptive placement.
- [Noel] All my life, I never knew why I never got adopted.
- [Interviewer] You just slipped through the cracks.
- Yeah, basically.
- It's a great day.
- Yeah, right!
Hey there!
- [ID] It's a great day to visit right!
- Oh my goodness.
- And look your banana is here.
- Oh my gosh!
It's your nana-banana. - You've gotten a lot bigger.
- Hello.
- When you're a certain age of foster care,
like infant till like maybe eight to 10 years old,
you hear the A word all the time.
You guys say the F word,
but I say the A word and that's adoption.
Around 12 years old, it went from talking about the A word
to this long term foster care plan.
They just stopped talking about it like
it went from like hearing it almost every week or month,
something like that, to like crickets,
And I remember my last call of despair.
And like asked my foster family
if they would adopt me, and they said no.
That was the last time that it was ever talked about.
When you turn 21 you age out of the foster care system.
I wrote a letter to my judge, telling them that you know,
the system didn't follow through that promise.
- [Interviewer] What was that promise?
- That they would find a home,
where I would be loved or you know, cared for.
- Good morning, hi!
- Good morning.
- Please have a seat.
- Well to call the matter of adoption of a baby boy,
and I want to welcome all of you to department 17.
- Good morning!
- Good morning.
- How are you ladies doing?
- Great, good. - Very excited.
- Yes.
- And I like your bow tie and your suspenders.
You look so handsome,
now you're looking at the flag, that's right.
- Yeah.
- It's all very exciting.
Well, what we're gonna do today is
we're gonna go over the paper work,
which you're familiar with
and I'll be asking you some questions.
What we're gonna sign is the adoption agreement,
since he's not 12 or older he doesn't have to sign.
And if you're in agreement with that,
please sign here, and date it.
- Are you happy mom?
- Thank you.
We're going to give this back to the judge okay.
- Thank you!
- Sorry about the drool.
- It's left a little trail.
- It's his mark, like he was here.
We'll do a DNA sample later.
So I'm gonna go ahead
and sign this termination of dependency order.
And I also wanna thank both of you
for being fost-adopt parents.
We couldn't do our jobs,
unless people like you were willing to step forward.
Open up your home,
give the child unconditional love,
not knowing whether you're going to be able to adopt
the child in the long run.
So thank you so much,
and I'm really happy for you to have this outcome.
And then the next thing we're gonna do
is the adoption order.
And for the record, I've reviewed the file.
And I believe that it's in his best interest
to be adopted by both of you.
You've been wonderful fost-adopt parents.
So by signing this document, I here by declare
that you are now parent and child, under the law.
With all the rights and duties
of the parent and child relationship.
But most importantly, all of the joys.
So congratulations!
- Yay!
- Oh, he's excited!
- Yay!
- Good for him, congratulations!
- Thank-you! - Congratulations!
- You wanna shake hands with the judge?
No?
- Alright, it's official.
So let's come up here
and take some congratulatory pictures.
- Yay!
- Aw!
- You got my hands.
- Aren't you cute?
- Yay!
- Yesterday at 9:28 AM, we legally adopted this child,
eight months after becoming his foster parents.
- Yay!
- This child is pure joy, and our hearts are bursting.
- As white parents of a mixed race,
Black and Filipino boy, we're hoping
that you'll help us hold us accountable to a few things.
- We will continue to do the work,
of acknowledging of our own white privilege.
We will not assume that you are cloaked in this privilege,
just because we are raising you.
We will continue to speak out against white supremacy.
We will continue to fight for racial justice,
and to push ourselves to do more.
- We'll also work to create a community,
that you can see yourself reflected in.
And to find teachers, coaches,
and mentors that look like you.
- We would like to take a moment now,
to introduce J's Godmother, Avery Klein-Cloud.
- 16 years ago, I was your teacher.
But for at least the last nine years, you have been mine.
We're really lucky to count you as family,
and as one more person to love J.
- We'd like to say a few things about J's birth parents.
The grief and the trauma that children suffer
when they are separated from their birth parents,
is often invisible and goes unacknowledged.
We promise to name it from the beginning.
We promise to talk about it, to help you learn
to hold love and loss at the same time.
We will not ignore where you came from,
your past or your birth parents.
We will speak about them with compassion and empathy.
When they're ready, we will do everything
in our power to create an open line of communication.
- So it's our understanding that J's birth parents
have both converted to Islam fairly recently
and we wanted to hold space for them in this ceremony.
So we've asked our friend, Hiba Ahmed,
to perform a song and it's called the Phoenix.
- We're going to do a blessing shower,
which means that you can think of something
that you wanna bless the family with.
Here we go.
One, two, three.
- Yes, I heard it all!
- Now that we're officially J's adopted family.
We've found ourselves really drawn to other families,
who share this experience.
Remember back in season one,
when we talked about meeting Tracy,
who was fostering the two cutest little girls.
Well, she has since adopted them.
So we went to pay them a visit,
and see how things were going.
- Hello!
Hello!
- Yay!
- Hey!
- Tell us a little about your decision.
- I was adamant that I wanted siblings.
I grew up as an only child,
and so I wanted my kids to have siblings.
And I also thought just for the kind of,
historical context to like have somebody
you've always been with would be important
when you're coming from foster care.
And so, I was like I really want a mixed race kid.
And part of it was like for me,
I'm mixed race and I grew up with two white parents.
And so I kind of felt like,
I could give something to a mixed race kid.
Like I could offer something that a white family can't.
That even like you know, if they're part Black
a full Black family can't offer.
So yeah, so then I got lucky
and ended up with mixed race kids.
- I mean is there any advice that you would give to us,
'cause you like you know what you're doing.
- I'm glad I look that way.
It's funny just the other day,
I was like, I don't know if I'm doing this right.
But apparently, that's what every parent says.
How about you?
- You've got advice for us?
What do you think we should do?
- Give me a kiss?
- Give you a kiss?
- Anything else?
- And get a tattoo kiss
- Get a tattoo, okay, get a tattoo kiss.
- This is a range of advice.
- We know from the social workers that J has siblings.
And seeing the bond that Tracy's kids have,
reminds us how much we want this for him.
But the only way we can connect to with his siblings,
is by connecting with his grandma.
And it's been two months since we texted her.
We haven't heard back.
We don't wanna rush things.
This is probably all really complicated for her.
But maybe it's time to try again.
Okay, send.