- Movies, they're magical.
Take 50 Shades of Grey, for instance,
a film that I myself--
- Wait, why are we starting with that?
- 50 Shades of Grey?
It's sexy, it's a sexy sex film full of sex.
The magic of cinema, Garrett.
- Yeah, but nothing even approaching
the realm of possibility happens in that.
Do you think people actually have
sex contracts with one another?
- Interesting question.
Today we're gonna find out.
Come on, Garrett. - No, no.
- In 50 Shades of Grey, Christian Grey,
a creepy playboy, presents Anastasia Steele,
a lady whose name is that,
with a contract outlining the boundaries of their
potential BDSM relationship.
Garrett, I just wanna clarify that
in no circumstances would I ever want
a contract like that with you, but we are friends.
- Ouch, but same.
- So, on the table in front of you,
I've outlined the same contract from the movie,
but with our names in there.
- I see I'm the submissive.
- Mmhmm.
- That's fine.
- Let's take a look at this,
'cause this is pretty nutso.
"The fundamental purpose of this contract
"is to allow the Submissive to explore his sensuality
"and his limits safely."
- Good, this is all about me and my safety.
- Mmhmm.
Let's skip to part nine.
"The Submissive is to serve and obey the Dominant
"in all things."
- Wow, we just got right to it, huh?
But all things, not just sex?
- No, not just sex.
I would like you to make me
a spaghetti bolognese every weekend.
- So, I've never made a spaghetti bolognese before.
- I want it to taste exactly like my grandmother's.
- [Garrett] "The Dominant will ensure all travel costs
"incurred by the Submissive."
- That part is easy-peasy.
I will get you an Uber pool right to my apartment.
(laughing)
- I'm not gonna Uber pool anywhere.
What do you take me for?
- I'm paying for it, it's $2.39.
(laughing)
- [Jen] "The Submissive shall not touch
"or pleasure himself sexually
"without permission from the Dominant."
- Okay.
- Permission not granted, by the way.
Oh, 15.22, "The Submissive shall not look
"directly into the eyes of the Dominant,
"except when specifically instructed to do so."
So shush up, Garrett.
Look down.
(laughing)
- I haven't signed it yet.
I'm willing to sign it,
if we make some modifications.
For instance, appendix three,
"Is swallowing semen acceptable to the Submissive?"
- Where are we gonna get that?
- So, we'll just say no.
If you could pencil that one in there.
So, but the rest of this stuff.
- "Is bondage acceptable to the Submissive?"
Hands in front?
- Sure.
- [Jen] Hands behind back? - [Garrett] Why not?
- [Jen] Ankles? - [Garrett] Got 'em.
- [Jen] Knees? - [Garrett] Also.
- [Jen] Elbows? - [Garret] Sure.
- [Jen] Tied to furniture? - [Garrett] Sure.
- [Jen] Blindfolding? - [Garrett] Yeah.
- [Jen] Gagging? - [Garrett] Okay.
- Whoa, genital clamps?
What are they clamping on to?
- The genitals.
If we had a clamp right now,
I think I could clamp some things
on to the genitals.
- All right, let's cross that one out.
- If we're gonna do this,
I just want everything to be above board, all right?
I wanna cross our Ts, dot our Is.
We should see a real lawyer.
- Okay, let's go.
- Thanks for helping us out.
- Yeah, no, I'm happy to
sit down with you guys, see if
we can help you out with your legal needs today.
- Do you have any experience with contracts
of a sexual nature?
- We did represent a client,
she was an adult film star
known for her very large natural breasts.
We've also done some work for
one client who was actually making
devices that attach to nipples or whatever else
and then send electrical shock.
It's not an area that I necessarily
advertise as my specialty.
- Have you seen 50 Shades of Grey?
- I did watch it recently, yeah.
- What'd you think?
- I thought the acting was okay, I guess, at best.
- Right.
What area of law would this fall under?
- At its core, it is contract law.
Prostitution could possibly come up,
and it's seemingly only legal in Nevada.
- Theoretically, let's say in Nevada
this would be enforceable,
and I were to make eye contact with her,
which I'm not going to do now.
- That's probably a bad idea.
- Can she sue me?
- She could possibly get a court order
that says you need to avoid eye contact with her.
- And if I break that, then I'd go to prison?
- That's completely enforceable.
Contempt of court could allow for you to be arrested
in certain scenarios if you continue
to violate the injunction.
- Oh my goodness.
Trying to find something that would be hard to enforce,
like "The Submissive shall not
"touch or pleasure himself sexually
"without the permission from the Dominant."
- That one's kind of interesting,
because that's actually a contract where
you've agreed not to engage in sex.
So that portion possibly could be enforceable.
- Wow, I was not expecting that.
Okay, so "The Dominant may flog, spank,
"whip, or corporally punish the Submissive
"as she sees fit."
- That seems like that would maybe cross the line,
potentially, if I can just hurt you.
- So, I'm gonna say that some part of that
is gonna be enforceable.
- Which parts?
- You can contract for what's called
assumption of the risk.
Baseball games, if you look on the back ticket,
you waive the right to sue them
if you get hit by a baseball.
- Oh yeah.
Is it ever for purpose of discipline?
- If you wanted just a contract
so that she would come whip you once a week,
you could probably contract for that,
as long as it's not sexual in nature.
- So I've got a better chance
of having a legally enforceable contract
if Jen comes and beats the shit out of me,
as opposed to we have sex.
- Yes.
- Huh.
- Overall, movie 50 Shades of Grey,
this contract, are you saying it is enforceable
or is not enforceable?
(dramatic music)
- It's most likely not enforceable,
for a number of reasons.
The content of what they're contracting to do
is gonna be prohibited under
probably a lot of laws.
(cheery music)
- So, contractually, 50 Shades of Grey,
total load of horse hockey.
- But if you believe in the magic of cinema,
you know, go in with eyes wide open
and don't look him in the face.
- Magic of cinema.
- Dammit.
- On to the next adventure.
- Come on!
It's a two hour drive back to the office.
I want In-N-Out.