hey there everybody and welcome to this video on restoring your marriage by embracing God or good
orderly Direction this is the beginning of our pastoral counseling education series I'm your host Dr Dawn Elise Snipes.
G-O-D stands for Good Orderly Direction it's based in principles from scripture but does not require you to believe in a higher power
Most of you who are watching this do believe in a higher power and that's great however
I think it's really important that we recognize
that there are tons of principles that are good for promoting love and abundance in the world in a secular world
and so everything that I'm talking about even though I will cite scripture that support it you can take the scripture out and it still makes sense
think of the Bible as an instruction manual for life with an example of both what to do and what not to do.
Let's think of Abraham. Abraham made some mistakes on his way but God forgave him and the Israelites regularly
fussed and complained and turned against God but God forgave them.
my point being that the Bible doesn't say this is what you can do the Bible also says you can screw up and you can be forgiven for it
Scripture references are provided but good orderly direction is about learning how to love!
That's it it's not about any religion. How can God help how can good orderly Direction help
God is love. Marriage is a union that's formed from love God wants us all to create and unite in the kingdom of God
Not everyone knows how to love or they forget it along the way so reviewing
scripture reviewing just good orderly direction as we talk about it can help you learn how to Love.
Good orderly Direction reminds us how to love each other and respond with love
it's your instruction manual or road map for living a rich and meaningful life and it means thinking before you act
and choosing the best response to help you move toward or maintain that rich and meaningful life.
What is this good orderly Direction I keep talking about? basically I've distilled it down
into these principles Prudence it means knowledge and patience knowing not only what you you do know
but also what you don't know and being patient and less impulsive in your responding how much would
that improve your relationships if you just were more prudent endurance of hardships respect for
yourself as well as other people forgiveness of yourself as and others earnestness in all
that you do which means keeping your word and doing your best that's all contentment with what
is instead of what could be and compassion for yourself and others truthfulness with self and
other and selflessness and as I Define it here that means stopping thinking that you are the
center of the universe recognizing that other people got you here and the contributions they
made even if it was was just giving birth to you but other people every person that you've
interacted with throughout your life has played a part in helping you helping to create who you are
selflessness means stepping back and recognizing the contribution of others and also recognizing
again as I said sometimes it ain't all about you reflection think about when things were
going well in your relationship were you prudent more thoughtful less impulsive were you willing
to endure challenges together a lot of people get into relationships and in the beginning
they are stuck like glue and they're willing to endure challenges and then gradually that glue
gets weak so endurance is really important are you forgiving of yourself and your partner for making
bad choices humans are lovable you are lovable your partner is lovable your behaviors may not
so much be and it's important to recognize the difference between loving the person and loving
the behavior forgiving yourself and others is so important a lot of relationships end up in
counseling because each person has this list longer than Santa's list of done me wrongs and
resentments and grievance and slights and this and that that they've been holding on to for 3 4 30
years you can also be unforgiving of yourself which can create barriers in relationships but
we'll get to that when we get to that particular video have you been Earnest in all that you've
done have you been willing to keep your word and do your very best or did you say okay okay you
know I'll do the dishes and then you just did the bare minimum or you rinsed them off and left them
in the sink to be washed tomorrow or something um that's not Being Earnest earnestness means
giving a 100% to whatever you're doing and keeping your word have you been content and compassionate
in the moment recognizing hey The Grass Is Always Green ER as they say could things be better maybe
however it's important to recognize what good I have right now yeah some things may be crappy but
it's important to look at the whole picture the whole pie not just the pieces of the pie
that are rotten or screwed up in some way have you been truthful with yourself and your partner and
this means not only about things that you did or didn't do but also about your feelings your wants
your needs have you been authentic and have you been selfless willing to consider other people's
point of view oh wow willing to give credit where credit is due and willing to show appreciation all
of those things perfects our ability to love and it helps us heal our relationships in the coming
sessions we will explore the skills and tools involved in each of those principles that's
kind of where all the psychology stuff comes in so I hope to see you in the future videos